Goose Chase by Patrice Kindl

delicate of frame, though wiry and strong after years of fending for myself.
    O my friend, I tell thee that there were nights when I did dream of naught but Tessa's teeth.
Both
sets of them.
    'Twas the morning of the twelfth day that the Ogresses caught yet another unhappy traveler. I knew it to be the twelfth day because I had eleven white feathers, eleven white pebbles, and twenty-two eggshell halves in my sewing bag, and had not yet gone out to forage for food, which is when I normally found them.
    I got up before dawn as usual and tidied the cottage, sweeping the usual gold dust outside, where I carefully dispersed it over the dooryard dirt. I was most vigilant in performing this duty, and in dusting every surface of the cottage, for I did not wish the Ogresses to know any more about my gifts than I could help. You might wonder that I did not offer my wealth in exchange for my freedom, but if you do so wonder, kindly recall the result of my previous attempts in this direction.
    Once every gleaming grain of gold was gone, I began cooking our great meal of the day as usual. Suddenly I
heard a tremendous tumult coming up the path: roars and moans, shrieks and groans. There came a sound of heavy bodies falling about into the shrubbery.

    I rushed to the doorway to see what was the matter. This was a bit difficult to tell at first. There was such a confusion of gigantic arms and legs and massive chests and hips that I couldn't immediately decide what I was looking at, and the fact that the sun was not yet up did not help. Presently, however, I determined that it was the three Ogresses wrestling with a large black sack which was in violent motion.
    "Hold his feet, ye! Nellie!"
    "Ugh!"
    Nellie was toppled like a tree in a tempest as the black sack suddenly jackknifed.
    "Hold him, can't ye? Lucinda, make y'self useful."
    Lucinda wound her enormously long arms around and around the sack like a snake, and Tessa settled the issue by sitting down on both Lucinda and sack at once.
    "Gerroff! Gerroffuvit!" came Lucinda's muffled roar from underneath her sister's weight. Tessa did not move, however, but simply sat there. Both of her heads grinned ferociously.
    I could see a rather elegant, well-polished boot protruding from under Lucinda's body, a boot which did not belong to Lucinda; obviously this was not some woodland creature which they had snared for the pot.
    I opened my mouth to order them to immediately release whatever unfortunate soul they had imprisoned in that sack, when I caught the expression, identically reproduced, on each of Tessa's twin faces. Two sets of eyes glinted wolfishly, and two tongues darted out of two mouths in an expression of naked greed. But 'twas me she was looking at, not the sack.

    Now was not the moment to exert my precarious authority.
    I closed my mouth and then reopened it.
    "Excellent," I said cheerfully. "You've brought home some dinner, I see. How clever of you all."

CHAPTER SEVEN
The Misfortunate Knight
I T IS A DEAR COLLOP THAT IS
CUT OUT OF THY OWN FLESH.

    â€”J OHN H EYWOOD,
P ROVERBS
    Jessa was most grievously disappointed, I could see. Trying to make them let the man in the sack go might quite easily have been fatal for me, and Tessa knew it. Lucinda and Nellie were simply not in the mood to be told that ladies never eat human flesh. They had, with considerable difficulty and after many days of nearly meatless meals, caught themselves an unfortunate knight whose skill and valor had not been equal to the brute force and size of the three Ogresses.
    They now intended to cook him and eat him, and if I chose to object, why then I was welcome to join the benighted traveler in the pot.
    "Drag him inside and tie him up with the golden thread while we decide what to do with him," I instructed.
    "What do ye mean, decide what we do with him?" demanded Tessa. "We be agoin' to kill him, that's what we be agoin' to do with him. Hand me that knife, Lucinda."
    But Lucinda, being underneath Tessa