Hard by Lily Harlem, Natalie Dae

son had done.’
She propped her forehead in one hand, her erratic breathing harsh-sounding
through the speakers.
    ‘And what had your son done, Mrs Knowles?’ The solicitor stopped in front of her and stared at the top of her
head.
    ‘I don’t know…’
    ‘Oh, come now. You said earlier that you and your son shared
secrets. How could you not know something of such magnitude? Why would your son
fail to tell you a secret as large as this when in the past he’d told you
everything?’
    ‘I don’t know.’ She shook her head. ‘I swear I don’t know. Maybe
he didn’t want to disappoint me.’
    ‘She’s lying. She knows everything,’ the man beside me whispered.
    The hairs on the back of my neck rose, and I thought I might be
sick.
    ‘Do you see the man in this courtroom, Mrs Knowles?’ The solicitor swung around to gesture to the gallery, sweeping his
arm to encompass everyone in attendance.
    Mrs Knowles lifted
her head.
    The man released my arm and stepped behind me, breathing on my
neck. ‘Stay where you are. She knows not to say anything, but you can never be
too sure of someone’s word.’
    I wanted to retort that I was hardly able to move but remained
quiet. Still.
    ‘Yes,’ Mrs Knowles said.
    ‘Bitch!’ the man behind me breathed.
    She looked directly at me, and I glanced around, thinking she’d shift her gaze elsewhere any second.
    ‘Tomorrow,’ the man whispered in my ear. ‘ Here. Right here.’
    His weight left my back, and I felt his presence leave, felt him leave. Listened as
the door behind me opened then closed softly.
    ‘He was up there,’ Mrs Knowles said,
pointing. ‘Right up there beside that woman!’
    It seemed everyone turned to stare at me then, and my face grew
hotter as I wrestled with feeling uncomfortable under their scrutiny.
    ‘Which woman, Mrs Knowles? Could you be specific?’ the solicitor asked, turning his steely
gaze my way.
    ‘Her! That woman there. The one with the long brown hair and the red coat.’
    A hand clamped down on my shoulder, and I jumped, letting out a
whimper. This could not be happening. Not to me.
    ‘This woman?’ a man said behind me.
    I glanced at the hand, then looked over
my shoulder to see a security guard eyeing me. I turned back to Mrs Knowles, blood rising to heat my face.
    ‘Yes, yes, that’s the one,’ she said, wafting the remains of her
tissue.
    I shook my head, my voice failing to work, and wished that I had
never, ever had the mad notion to visit a trial in session. Confused, I frowned
and gave the guard a smile, trying to convey that I was no one of interest.
    ‘Come this way,’ he said, jerking his head in the direction of the
door. ‘You have a bit of explaining to do.’

 
    Chapter
Three

 
    Now

 
    I stared through the peephole of my flat door, heart going like
the clappers, my legs weak. The knock had startled me, and I wondered for a
second whether it was him again or another
tenant. Maybe they wanted sugar, some teabags. Maybe the postman had delivered
a parcel at the main door and I just hadn’t heard him
ring my buzzer. But then the fear kicked up a fuss, barrelling into me, harsh and unforgiving, and I thought of him, the man in the courtroom.
    People like him, well, they knew how to
find someone, didn’t they? He’d done it before and I
knew he could do it again.
    I leapt back from the door, stifling a groan, frightened from
seeing an eye on the other side. A hazel eye, its shape distorted by the
peephole glass, the whites streaked with faint red veins. A hazel eye. I swallowed and fought
to combat my pinging nerves. I wanted to run, hide in the corner of my bedroom,
me sitting on the floor, knees drawn up, arms around
them. I wanted to close my eyes and press myself into that corner until I
became invisible. I wanted my life back, me back, to rewind time and start
again.
    Whoever was on the other side knocked again and said, ‘Rebecca?’
    Relief then panic poured into me, my legs going even weaker,