Honor Reclaimed (All About Honor) by Kathleen Reagan

kind, I
would like you to take dry toast and tea to your mistress.   Not surprisingly, she is having
difficulty in the mornings these days.”
    Joan found Eirian on her knees in
front of the chamber pot wiping her mouth.   She was a pale as a ghost and her hair was damp and matted
against her forehead.   “Oh, my poor
little mistress, let me help you back to bed.”   Joan helped her to her feet and back into bed.   “I think you would feel better if you
had a little something on your stomach.   I brought you some dry toast and tea at master’s request.   It is just what the doctor
ordered.   Now let me put this
pillow behind your back.”   Joan
placed the tray on Eirian’s lap and smoothed a napkin on her gown.
    “Joan, thank you, but I do not think
I can take a bite right now.”   Eirian said.
    “Oh mistress, you must.   Think of the baby,” Joan encouraged.
    “How do you know about the
baby?   It doesn’t show yet does
it?”   Eirian placed her had over
her belly as if she expected to find it bulging.
    “Oh no mistress, it will be sometime
yet before you show.   You do not
have to worry about your secret just yet.   The master told me what happened and how it happened.   He feels so guilty.   There never was a kinder man.   Please do not blame him for what
happened.   It was God’s will I am
sure,” Joan assured her.
    “I am surprised he told you.   You know that he thought I was my sister.   Joan, he does not love me, he just
married me to make things right.”   Eirian broke down and cried.  
    “It’s alright Mistress.   You are just feeling emotional right
now because of the baby.   You are
family of course he loves you.   You
have known him most of your life which is more than most young girls can say
when they marry.   He has always
been good to you.   I have seen that
through the years.   He may not be in-love with you the way you want right now, but that
will come with time , I am sure .   Try not to upset yourself too much for
the baby’s sake.”   Joan smoothed
Eirian’s hair back out of her face.   “Now take a sip of this tea.   That’s a good girl.   Now eat
just a little bite of toast.   Good.   Let’s see how that
settles and then we’ll try some more.”
    Eirian eventually ate most of the
breakfast and she did feel better.   Joan helped her to dress.   “Fresh air, that’s what you need.   It is such a pretty morning, why don’t you take a stroll in the gardens
for a few minutes?   Your sister
loved the garden so much.   Maybe
you will find some peace there.”
    “That does sound good.   I will look in on the children
first.”   The nursery was on the
third floor.   Eirian found William busy
at his studies, and Gwenillian and Lettus busy playing with their dolls.   The baby was asleep in his cradle.   Nanny was busy with the girls while the
tutor was working with William on his sums.   Johane had hired a helper for Nanny, as she was getting a
bit too old to manage the children on her own.   The helper took most of the responsibility for baby John
when he was not with the wet nurse.   Eirian was glad to see that her sister had organized things so well for
her children.   There was actually
very little that she needed to do.
    Nanny looked up and saw Eirian
standing there, “Madame, please come in.   The children will be so happy to see you.   Children look who is here.”
    “Aunt Eirian, Aunt Eirian,” Lettus
ran to Eirian with her arms up.   Eirian scooped her up in her arms and swung her around as the little
girl squealed with joy.   Eirian set
the child down quickly as a wave of nausea and dizziness overcame her.   She quickly grasped the back of the
closest chair to steady herself until her head stopped spinning and her stomach
stopped churning.
    Once she felt in control again, she
smiled down at the child.   “How is
my little girl this morning?   Are
you behaving yourself and minding Nanny.”   Eirian asked trying