I Remember Nothing by Nora Ephron

minutes, the movie became unbelievably, noticeably, extraordinarily out of sync. But it was almost over. And I didn’t want to leave my seat for fear I might miss something.
    Afterward, on my way out of the theater, I asked if I could speak to the theater manager. She turned out to be on maternity leave. I asked if I could speak to the assistant manager. There was no assistant manager on duty. So I ended up with my old friend, the ticket taker,who was, as you can imagine, thrilled to see me again. I told her that the last reel of the movie we had just seen was out of sync and that they might want to fix it before the next show began. She promised me they would.

Twenty-five Things People Have a Shocking Capacity to Be Surprised by Over and Over Again
Journalists sometimes make things up.
Journalists sometimes get things wrong.
Almost all books that are published as memoirs were initially written as novels, and then the agent/editor said, This might work better as a memoir.
Beautiful young women sometimes marry ugly, old rich men.
In business, there is no such thing as synergy in the good sense of the term.
Freedom of the press belongs to the man who owns one.
Nothing written in today’s sports pages makes sense to anyone who didn’t read yesterday’s sports pages.
There is no explaining the stock market but people try.
The Democrats are deeply disappointing.
Movies have no political effect whatsoever.
Men cheat.
A lot of people take the Bible literally.
Pornography is the opiate of the masses.
You can never know the truth of anyone’s marriage, including your own.
People actually sign prenuptial agreements.
Mary Matalin and James Carville are married.
Bagels don’t taste as good as they used to.
Everybody lies.
The reason it’s important for a Democrat to be president is the Supreme Court.
Howard Stern is apparently very nice in person.
In Manhattan a small one-bedroom apartment that needs work costs $1 million.
People look like their dogs.
Cary Grant was Jewish.
Cary Grant wasn’t Jewish.
Larry King has never read a book.

I Just Want to Say: The Egg-White Omelette
    There’s a new book out about diet, and it apparently says what I’ve known all my life—protein is good for you, carbohydrates are bad, and fat is highly overrated as a dangerous substance. Well, it’s about time. As my mother used to say, you can never have too much butter.
    For example, here’s how we cook steak in our house: First you coat the steak in kosher salt. Then you cook the steak in a very hot frying pan. When it’s done, you throw a huge pat of butter on top of it. That’s it. And by the way, I’m not talking about sweet butter, I’m talking about salted butter.
    Here’s another thing it says in this book: dietary cholesterol has nothing whatsoever to do with your cholesterol count. This is another thing I’ve known all my life, which is why you will not find me lying on my deathbed regretting not having eaten enough chopped liver. Let me explain this: You can eat all sorts of things that are high in dietary cholesterol (like lobster and avocado and eggs) and they have NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER on your cholesterol count. NONE. WHATSOEVER. DID YOU HEAR ME? I’m sorry to have to resort to capital letters, but what is wrong with you people?
    Which brings me to the point of this: the egg-white omelette. I have friends who eat egg-white omelettes. Every time I’m forced to watch them eat egg-white omelettes, I feel bad for them. In the first place, egg-white omelettes are tasteless. In the second place, the people who eat them think they are doing something virtuous when they are instead merely misinformed. Sometimes I try to explain that what they’re doing makes no sense, but they pay no attention to me because they have all been told to avoid dietary cholesterol by their doctors. According to
The New York Times
, the doctors are not deliberately misinforming their patients; instead, they’re the victims of something known as the