Joy in the Morning by P. G. Wodehouse

parched.’
    I climbed through the window, and sank into a chair, while he went off to fetch the ingredients. Presently he returned with the jingling tray, and after we had done a bit of stag-at-eve-ing and exchanged some desultory remarks about this and that, I did the civil thing by congratulating him on his engagement.
    ‘I was saying to Nobby, whom I drove down here in my car, how extraordinary it was that any girl should have fallen in love with you at first sight. I wouldn’t have thought it could be done.’
    ‘It came as quite a surprise to me, too. You could have knocked me down with a feather.’
    ‘I don’t wonder. Still, all sorts of unlikely people do seem to excite the spark of passion. Look at my Aunt Agatha.’
    Ah.’
    And Stilton.’
    ‘You know about Stilton?’
    ‘I ran into him in a jeweller’s, buying the ring, and he told me of his fearful predicament.’
    ‘Sooner him than me.’
    ‘Just how I feel. Nobby thinks it’s Florence’s profile that does it.’
    ‘Quite possibly.’
    There was a silence, broken only by the musical sound of us having another go at the elixir. Then he heaved a sigh and said that life was rummy, to which I assented that in many respects it was very rummy.
    ‘Take my case,’ he said. ‘Did Nobby tell you what the position was?’
    About Uncle Percy gumming the works, you mean? Oh, rather.’
    A nice bit of box fruit, what?’
    ‘So it struck me. Decidedly. The heart bled.’
    ‘Fancy having to get anyone’s consent to your getting married in this enlightened age! The thing’s an anachronism. Why, you can’t use it as a motive for a story even in a woman’s magazine nowadays. Doesn’t your Aunt Dahlia run some sort of women’s rag?’
    ‘“Milady’s Boudoir”. Sixpence weekly. I once contributed an article to it on What the Well-Dressed Man is Wearing.’
    ‘Well, I’ve never read “Milady’s Boudoir”, but I have no doubt it is the lowest dregs of the publishing world. Yet if I were to submit a story to your aunt about a girl who couldn’t marry a fellow without some blasted head of the family’s consent, she would hoot at it. That is to say, I am not allowed to turn an honest penny by using this complication in my work, but it is jolly well allowed to come barging in and ruining my life. A pretty state of things!’
    ‘What happens if you go ahead regardless?’
    ‘I believe I get jugged. Or is that only when you marry a ward in Chancery without the Lord Chancellor hoisting the All Right flag?’
    ‘You have me there. We could ask Jeeves.’
    ‘Yes, Jeeves would know. Have you brought him?’
    ‘He’s following with the heavy luggage.’
    ‘How is he these days?’
    ‘Fine.’
    ‘Brain all right?’
    ‘Colossal.’
    ‘Then he may be able to think of some way out of this mess.’
    ‘We shan’t need Jeeves. I am handling the whole thing. I’m going to get hold of Uncle Percy and plead your cause.’
    ‘You?’
    ‘Oddly enough, that’s what Nobby said. In the same surprised tone.’
    ‘But I thought the man scared you stiff.’
    ‘He does. But I’ve been able to do him a good turn, and my drag with him is now substantial.’
    ‘Well, that’s fine,’ he said, brightening. ‘Snap into it, Bertie. But,’ he added, coming unbrightened again, ‘you’ve got a tough job.’
    ‘Oh, I don’t know.’
    ‘I do. After what happened at lunch to-day.’
    I was conscious of a sudden, quick concern.
    ‘Your lunch with Uncle Percy?’
    ‘That’s the one.’
    ‘Didn’t it go well?’
    ‘Not too well.’
    ‘Nobby was anticipating that it would bring home the bacon.’
    ‘Ha! God bless her optimistic little soul.’
    I gave him one of my keen looks. There was a sombre expression on his map. The nose was wiggling in an overwrought way. It was easy to perceive that pain and anguish racked the brow.
    ‘Tell me all,’ I said.
    He unshipped a heavy sigh.
    ‘You know, Bertie, the whole idea was a mistake from the start. She should