Little Pink Slips by Sally Koslow

so much younger-looking than your photo." Bebe squawked,
    and both Darlene and the other woman joined her in noisy laughter.
    "And you're so much . . ." Magnolia began.
    "Fatter?" Bebe offered. It was just this kind of self-deprecating
    remark that won her fans, who were considerable in number. "I read
    minds," Bebe continued. "Meet Felicity." Magnolia shook hands with
    Bebe's cashmere-clad sidekick. "And this is Hell, the current man in
    my life, who's going to need some cream. Got some tongue on him,
    doesn't he?" She lifted the cat into her lap and let him lick her face.
    "Shall we order?" Darlene said.
    "I'll have raspberries with soy milk," Bebe announced. When she
    smiled, her small eyes got smaller. "Felicity? Will it be soy yogurt? We
    just returned from that new ashram in Santa Fe. We're vegans now." Magnolia wished she'd gone for the eggs Benedict. But her oatmeal
    had arrived with efficiency.
    Bebe yawned. "What's this I hear about your wanting me to take
    over a magazine?"
       Magnolia almost spit out her cereal.
       "Jock and I have been scouting for a new take on Lady f or months now," Darlene began.
    Total con, Magnolia thought. Unless it's true.
    "We adore your show," Darlene continued. "I TiVo it and watch it
    every night on my Stairmaster. Gotta work on the old tush." She pat
    ted her rear.
    "Your tush is a work of art, honey," Bebe said. "But let's cut to the
    chase. Flattered as I am by your attention, magazines are over. They're
    bor-ing. Never read 'em. Can't tell 'em apart. Beige, beige, blah. Dull,
    dull, dead."
       Magnolia shot a glance at Felicity's bag, which was knocking against her leg. At least one of them bought magazines. W stuck out. And O. Plus obviously they were all going to pretend that Bebe's bright red memo for her own magazine, which they'd seen just days
    before, didn't exist. Magnolia realized she had officially entered an
    alternate universe.
    "We think that your stamp on any product would make it stand
    out, and a magazine isn't any different from, say, designing clothes,"
    Darlene countered. Bebe's brand of plus-size studded denim routinely
    sold out at Target.
    Hell lapped up his dish of cream, at which point Felicity emptied
    the table's milk pitcher into his saucer.
    "If I would even consider this little venture, I'd insist on a few deal
    points," Bebe announced.
    "Shoot," Darlene responded.
    "For starters, I require one hundred percent creative control," Bebe
    began. "Can't be second-guessed. That's a given. Ground-rule two, I work
    when I work. Never sleep, so it's not a problem. I spend July and August
    in Hawaii, December in Aspen, and I'm thinking of buying in Tuscany.
    Anyway, Felicity can make any decision for me. She's my go-to bitch." The two of them high-fived. Since "Good morning," Go-to Bitch
    had said not one word. Magnolia saw mouths moving, heard laughter
    coming from a faraway place. Drops of perspiration trickled down
    inside her new linen jacket. She would rather be enduring a Brazilian
    wax after a long, bushy winter than be here.
    ". . . and I don't intend to renew my show. Fuckin' noose," Bebe
    said with enough conviction to turn heads at other tables.
    Magnolia came to. No show, no endorsements, no visibility for the
    magazine, if it should sink to that. No! No! No!
       "Bebe, I'm surprised to hear you'd think of leaving The Bebe Show. It's such an audience-pleaser. Your fans would be outraged." Magno
    lia hated the sound of her own voice, although she wasn't surprised
    Bebe would be taking this step, with her ratings slip-sliding away. She hadn't made the list of Fortune' s wealthiest women in the universe for the last four years by being a pea brain.
    "We'll see," Bebe said, popping the last raspberry in her mouth.
    "I'm looking at a lot of opportunities. Maybe open my own ashram.
    Or a chain of foot reflexology salons."
       "If we're lucky enough to get you on board, is there anything you like and would want to keep from the current Lady