My Heart is Yours by Amanda Morey

He didn’t know what else to say, so he
went into the kitchen.
    Jason pulled Sam closer and she rested her head on
his shoulder. He stroked her hair gently.
    “You sure you’re okay?” He asked.
    “I’ll survive.”
    “I’m sorry.” He said and kissed the top of her head.
She smiled and snuggled closer to him.

    Sam sat nestled in the pile of pillows on her bed,
journal open on her lap. This was a new one, a simple blue spiral
notebook, she couldn’t afford much else then.
     
    You know, I want to be happy for Juliana and Derek.
I really do, but I can’t help feeling a little jealous of them.
Jealous that they get to go to a great school like Princeton. They
don’t even have to worry about financial aid or scholarships or any
of that. They don’t have to worry about money period. I mean, I
know that they have their own stuff to worry about, but still, it
must be nice. Nice to have money and not have that stupid crap stop
you from doing what you want to. I’m glad that I have Jason to make
me feel better. But still, it makes me jealous. Even a little
angry.

    It was later that night, past midnight. Jason wasn’t
at Sam’s house. He’d gone home to get sleep. Sam wished that he’d
just never go back to his father’s house again. She tried to
convince him to stay at their place but he insisted on going home.
Sam couldn’t imagine why but she sincerely hoped that it wasn’t
because of Craig.
    There was a knock on her bedroom door.
    “Come in.”
    John peeked in. “Hey, baby sister.”
    Sam glanced up from her journal. “Hey, John. You can
come in you know.”
    “Are you okay?” He asked, sitting down next to her
on her bed.
    “John, I’m fine.” She sighed.
    “You always say you’re fine, Sam.”
    She paused. “I’ll get over it.”
    “That’s better.” He nodded slightly.
    “You want me to be sad?”
    “No. I just don’t want you pretending you’re not.”
John offered her a small smile.
    Sam lay back on her bed and sighed.
    “Like I said, I’ll get over it.” She stared up at
the white ceiling.
    “Are Derek and Juliana going?” He asked.
    “Of course they are. Besides, they don’t need
financial aid. They’re rich.” Sam tried not to let bitterness drip
out of her voice but despite her efforts it still escaped.
    “That’s what you get for having a couple of rich
friends. If all your friends were poor like us, you’d have a lot
less of this disappointment.” John said with his patented blend of
complete seriousness and a hint of teasing.
    Sam punched him on the arm. “Ouch.” He said. Sam had
grown up with a bunch of boys, so she could throw a powerful punch
if she wanted to; and she wanted to.
    “Don’t be such a girl.” Sam teased him.
    “Yeah, yeah, smart ass. I’m just sayin’.” John said,
messing up Sam’s hair. She smiled. John always did have a way of
making her feel better.
    ***

 
    D erek and Juliana were
getting ready to head off to Princeton at the end of August. Sam
had registered for a couple of classes at a community college close
to their house. She was still upset about not going to Princeton,
but she had Jason, and every time she looked at him she forgot
about everything else. All things considered, she was the happiest
she’d ever been in her life.
    Jason couldn’t afford to take Sam out to fancy
restaurants or take her shopping, so there weren’t a lot of
“dates”. At least not in the traditional way most people think of
dates. He’d take her to a movie once in a while but that was about
it. They’d go to the park and walk around there together. Sometimes
Sam would go on the swings. Jason never really went on the swings,
but he would push Sam on them. Otherwise, they’d hang out at Sam’s
house. Not Jason’s though. Never Jason’s.
    “I wish I could get you stuff.” Jason said suddenly
one day when he and Sam were lying on Sam’s bed. The lamp from her
chipped wooden nightstand was dim.
    “What?” She asked, turning to look at