Revelry (Taint #1) by Carmen Jenner

I’m set down, not on the ground but in the passenger seat of Zed’s Jeep. He buckles me in, despite my protests.
    Levi’s looking at his phone and he licks his lips “That’s one sweet arse, Red.”
    “Fuck you,” I hiss, and I slap at Zed’s hands. “Why are you strapping me in here? I don’t want to go anywhere with you.”
    “Red, you’re hurting our feelings,” Cooper says.
    “You guys have feelings?”
    “I like this one,” Levi says. “We shall keep her.”
    He ruffles my hair as he leaps up and grabs onto the metal frame above our heads, catapulting himself into the Jeep behind my seat. I unbuckle my belt as the others file in but before they’ve even sat down in their seats, Zed turns the key in the ignition and we lurch forward. I quickly plug my seatbelt in again, because even though I don’t want to go anywhere with these maniacs, I also don’t want to die young by falling out of a moving Jeep at breakneck speed.
    “Please, stop the car.”
    “Chill out, Ginger,” Zed turns his face to me, and winks. “I’m not gonna crash.”
    “I have to get back to my cat. She’s in the car. What if she has a stroke and pees all over my upholstery?”
    Levi leans forward and I try to ignore the tightening of my traitorous vagina as he whispers in my ear, “Your pussy’s just going to have to wait.”
    “Relax, Ali, we’re just going to a bar,” Ash says. I think he’s taking pity on me, and I don’t know the slightest thing about him, or any of them for that matter, but I’m kind of glad there’s at least one other seemingly sane person along for the ride.
    A few minutes later, we reach an old dive, and Zed pulls into the lot. We all file out of the car, and after that crazy ride, I swear to god it takes a minute or two for my stomach to settle before I can follow them inside.
    The bar is just as sleazy from the inside as it was from the out, but there’s something oddly homey about it too. Yeah, Grams would be thrilled to hear you say that . Several pairs of eyes turn towards us, all gruff men, their expressions hard and their faces swallowed by thick bushy beards. The bartender, a rotund dude that looks almost exactly like his patrons, pulls a baseball bat out from underneath the bar and slowly whacks it against his open palm.
    “Um, guys,” I squeak. “Maybe we should leave?”
    “Little girl’s got a point. Maybe you boys took a wrong turn down Fuckwit Lane and landed your sorry arses here in my pub,” the bartender says, but then his face practically splits in half, the baseball bat swings, and he makes a “bring it in” movement with his gigantic arms. “Jesus, boys, long time no see. Where the hell you been?”
    I’m ushered over with the rest of the boys and oddly, I’m swept up in a huge hug by this strange, sweaty man. “Hello sweetheart, who are you?”
    “Barry, this is Ali,” Zed says, clasping my shoulder. I don’t think he realises just how strong he is, because … ouch.
    “Red here is our new PA.”
    “Shit, did you tell her what happened to the last one?” Barry says.
    “What happened to the last one?” I dart my gaze nervously between them. “You guys had another PA?”
    “What are ya, drinkin’ love?”
    “Just water, thank you.”
    “Gah!” Zed says, making a disgusted face and snatches his hands off my shoulder as though I’m contagious.
    “Jesus Christ,” Cooper says.
    “Fuck me, they gave us a fucking saint,” Levi murmurs, and even Ash turns up his nose.
    I follow the guys over to a booth in the corner and Levi indicates that I should sit first. I slide along the wooden bench and settle in against a wall with deep-knotted pine panelling and red wallpaper that had seen better days. Levi slides in beside me, followed by Ash. Cooper and Zed sit opposite. Barry brings over two pitchers of beer, and five glasses. He miraculously forgot my water.
    “I’m not a saint,” I say. “I just think it’s probably wise that one of us stays sober