Save Me From Me by Erika Ashby

back in her room. With the door closed. I think she’s on the phone,” Shane whispers.
    “K. I’ll be right back. Hold still.”
    I lightly knock on my mom’s door. I don’t want to be too loud in case she is on the phone. I slowly open it, and peek my head in. “Mom, you in here?” I hear her sniffling and I can see the light in her bathroom through the cracked door so I make my way into her room. I lean against the wall and just talk to her through the door. “Why you crying, Mom?”
    She takes one last sniffle, and I can just picture her wiping away the proof of her tears before she pulls open her door and tries to act as if nothing is wrong. “Oh, it’s nothing.”
    “Don’t bullshit me, Mom. What’s wrong?”
    “Now Dani, it’s nothing for you to go and stick your nose in.” Well, that stung a little bit. Does she really think I walk around butting into everyone’s business?
    “I’m asking you what’s wrong, Mom. I’m not trying to go and start shit.” She realizes how I took what she said and quickly apologizes.
    “Sorry, I’m not trying to take it out on you. It’s just Brandy.” She gives me a weak smile. “We got into it earlier when she dropped off the boys. I called her just now to tell her not to come back to get them. She didn’t like me telling her what to do with her kids,” she says mockingly.
    “I’m sorry, Mom. She’s a bitch. Brandy runs all over you, and she’s a horrible mom to those kids out there. It’d be better for all of y’all if she didn’t show back up.” I sigh, knowing that day will never happen. “Speaking of the kids, I’m going to take them for ice cream and to pick out a movie for tonight.” I grab my mom and pull her in for a hug. “I love you, Mom. I have your back, and I will always be here for you.”
    “I know, Baby Girl. That’s what worries me.”
     

     
    Work sucks as usual, and the question that plays over and over in my mind is ringing loud. Is this all that life has in store for me? I mean, there has to be more, right? If not, then what’s this life for? My sister has been MIA since she brought back my mom’s car along with the boys. Who the hell knows where she is or where she even stays. But as long as she leaves the kids with us, my mom doesn’t care. She doesn’t question anything Brandy does. Heaven forbid the time bomb that detonates when any questions are actually asked. It’s getting so old. I despise druggies. I wish the losers would just get help, but I’m not sure that will ever happen unless it’s court appointed.
    Sitting on the counter near the register, I stare out the window and daydream while it’s slow. I watch Adyn as she pulls into work fifteen minutes late.
    “What’s up, Hooker?” she asks as she walks behind me to clock in.
    “Same shit, different day. You, slut?”
    “Same dick, different day,” she replies and I laugh. She’s engaged and complains. I’m single and complain. Not about being single, but about life sucking. We are some pessimistic mofos, but it’s all in good fun. Well, for the most part.
    “I’d like some dick,” I say, taking a bite of my jerky stick. Adyn sits on the counter facing me. Joy isn’t here today, so we don’t have to worry about death glares.
    “I bet I could find you some.” She wiggles her brows.
    “No way. I don’t want you picking me out any puppy pound dick. I’m not that desperate. Plus, I have standards,” I say as I dramatically toss my hair back.
    “That hurts my feelings,” she says sarcastically, placing her hand on her chest. Adyn is my new, gorgeous friend. She’s not originally from here like I am. It’s easier to click with people when you have no history with them. She’s short and curvy with auburn hair cut in a bob style. She has her bottom lip pierced, and one full arm is covered in tattoos. “Just because I’m taken doesn’t mean I couldn’t find you a good lay. It’s not like I’d try hooking you up with the Bud Light guy.