Shut Out (Just This Once #2) by Cee Smith

No, I wasn’t meeting with him. I had already made up my mind. So why did it feel like even thinking that felt like a lie?
    ***
    I hadn’t checked the mail since the postal service announced they were returning to their routes almost a week before. It wasn’t like I received a lot of mail anyway, but I had been too busy with work to bother unloading a box I assumed was filled to the brim with mailers. I unlocked the box and noticed a thick, padded manila envelope underneath everything else. I hadn’t ordered anything, and when I flipped the envelope over, there was no return address or any indication as to who sent it. Shuffling the rest of the mail underneath my arm, I used both hands to open the small package.
    Just as I got to my front door, I pulled out the contents only to find a single CD without so much as a card or permanent marker signaling what it was.
    All of the rest of the mail was thrown on my kitchen counter before I carried the blank CD to my office to see what was on it. I’d never had something so suspicious and ominous as a blank CD sent to my home—and addressed to me specifically, no less.
    Once seated at my desk, I shoved the CD in and waited for my computer to load the contents. When the multimedia icon popped up on my screen, I clicked play noticing at the last minute that it was a video and not an audio file. Immediately, my screen filled with the image of a half-naked man. He wore jeans, no shoes, no shirt. His face couldn’t be seen based on the angle of the camera, but I knew that chest anywhere. His words verified my presumption.
    “Mmm, pretty bird…I’ve been thinking about you,” Joel groaned and it was the sound of need amplified through my speakers that had me pressing pause quickly, as if I were in a crowded library and porn sounds blasted from my speakers. I clutched my chest to calm my racing heart. Is this what I think it is? If so, he’s pulling out all the stops. He’s making it so I’ll have no choice but to meet him—if only to cure the ache that’s blooming through my body with the tenor of those words. Words that were meant especially for me.
    I moved through my house to retrieve my headphones bundled at the bottom of my purse. My house was empty and very rarely did I even receive the random solicitor, but it felt too revealing to watch this video and listen to the sexual hunger he possessed, with the remote chance that someone walking down the sidewalk could make out one word of what was meant for my ears and eyes only. There was something significant about Joel sending me this. It spoke of a trust I wasn’t even sure I deserved. Granted, his face wasn’t in the picture, but anyone who knew Joel would be able to say that was his voice. If not, they could probably recognize his body. He wasn’t tattooed and didn’t have any significant scars marring his perfect skin, but even in Vegas, it was hard to find a man who had a body as perfect as his. He could work at Chippendales or Thunder Down Under, and I’m sure he’d be their biggest moneymaker. Women would line up outside the door just to see him reveal even a small glimpse of his perfectly chiseled chest and commanding thighs.
    The heat of excitement of being able to watch his body in action washed over me. I would have a front row seat to whatever awaited me once I was back in the office and pressed play. Having sex with Joel was its own experience. Yes, I watched his body as he moved in and out of me, but more so, I was focused on the pleasure he drew out of me. Now, I would be able to completely focus on the beauty of Joel’s movements.
    I plugged my headphones in. The mouse hovered over the play button, waiting for me to click it. It wasn’t even a question whether I would press play or not, which was a sure sign that I absolutely shouldn’t have watched. However, I couldn’t control the sudden urge that overtook me. I needed to see Joel, needed to hear his voice. Even if I couldn’t see that cocky