Squirrel Cage by Cindi Jones

happiness in your life.”
    “Promise me you’ll be good Andrea, okay?” I asked .
    She released me and stood back “I will be very good Cindi,” she said.
    “I too wish you the best Andrea. I will always remember you and I wish you the very best,” I said to her as I choked up. She blew me a kiss as she wandered the long way back to group session.
    Mom and Dad appeared through the double doors. Dad came over and picked up one of my luggage pieces, a stuffed paper sack. I carried the other. I gave Mom a hug and I told her that I loved her. “And you too Dad,” I added. We checked out and left the hospital.
    The late October day was chilly, the sky was clear and the sun shown brightly. The smell of late autumn filled my senses.
    “I’m back,” sang Squirrel .
    “Where have you been Squirrel ? I’m so glad that you are back
    I would be starting again. But it would not be from the beginning. I loved my family and I loved my life. I knew the steps to take. This was going to be a great day to start the rest of my life

Thou shalt not steal
    I value honesty. I believe it to be the most pure of all virtues. I live my life striving to be honest in all that I do. I will not lie to my family. I do not lie to my customers. I refuse to create marketing hype for my products. I will not ever lie to my lifelong companion. But this has not always been true. For many years even after my change, deception, lying, and stealing were not only necessary but sometimes required for my very survival. And, even now, those that I do truly trust, only get part of the truth. My life is full of holes that I manage to not talk about.
    It is a very hard thing to look back on your life and admit your most serious faults. They are signs of weakness. It is an admission of guilt. It is embarrassing. It is reliving the years of hiding the deep dark secret. But it is an integral part of my story. And while I will not delve into the detail which could consume volumes, I do want to share these things. I’ll think of this as a final confession, a way to help clear my conscience.
    We were at the local drug store. Mom was a stay at home mother, wife, and homemaker. When she went out during the day, my brother and I were in tow. I was 5 years old. While she was checking out with the items she had selected, I stood facing the “stand of last resistance” filled with candy bars and gum. I casually picked up a package of Life Savers and put it in my pocket. And we went home. I was thrilled that I had a pack of Life Savers. I didn’t even have to beg.
    So, I wandered around the house eating my Life Savers. I was feeling fairly smug. And then mother blocked my path.
    “What have you got in your hands?” she asked sternly.
    “I dunno.”
    “Where did you get those?” she demanded.
    “I dunno.”
    “Did you get them at the store?” she demanded.
    “I dunno.”
    “Well did you pay for them? I know full well that I didn’t pay for them” she said.
    “I dunno”.
    I was in trouble, real trouble. And I felt terrible. “Why did I take the Life Savers?” I asked myself.
    “Why did you take those Life Savers from the store?” she demanded. “I dunno , ” was my response.
    She grabbed me by the hand and shook the Life Savers from my grasp. She went into her bedroom to collect her purse and keys. She returned and wrangled my wrist, dragging me through the door and to the car. She opened the car door and pushed me in. “We are going back to the store and you are going to explain to the man there why you took those Life Savers.
    Do you understand?” she asked sternly.
    “I dunno.”
    Why did she continue to ask? Didn’t she realize that she was going to get the same answer, whatever she asked? “I dunno” was a great answer!
    Sure enough, she pulled me by the arm right into the drug store and to the cashier who had helped her only one hour earlier. “I’m very sorry she said to the fellow but may I have a moment of your time?” she asked