Stepbrother With Benefits 11 by Mia Clark

alright.

*** Ethan
    These fucking woods.  Seriously, super real talk right now, but what the fuck is up with these woods?  We saw lights before, but they weren't even real lights.  I mean, I guess they were lights in the strictest sense of the word, but who the fuck needs fireflies when you're lost in the woods?
    Also, we've got this dog with us, and it's not even helpful.  It just keeps circling around us, over and over, running in circles...
    Yup, thanks, Dog.  Thanks a lot.
    Maybe I should give it a name or something?  What the fuck, he's not even my dog, though.  He should have a name already.
    The next time he comes close, I hold out my hand to pet him and he stops.  I reach for his collar, but that's all there is, no tags, nothing.  He looks at me with contented eyes, his tongue lolling out of his mouth.
    "Kind of strange that there's a dog out here, huh?" my dad asks.
    "Uh, yeah," I say.
    My dad laughs.  "I thought we were done for before."
    "Yeah..."  Yeah, I did, too.
    "I'm not sure if it's because of that or something else, but I'm glad you told me," he says.
    "Told you what?" I ask.  I'm not trying to be stupid here, but I want to make sure I know what he's talking about.
    "You," he says.  "And Ashley.  It makes sense now.  I'm not sure why I didn't see it before.  I guess I just never thought of it as a possibility.  You two have gotten on each other's nerves for such a long time, you know?"
    "Yeah, I know," I say.  "I really do like her, though.  This isn't a fling or anything, Dad."
    It isn't a fling now.  It was going to be a fling when we first started our "with benefits" arrangement, but to be honest I'm not even sure if it was a fling then.
    I loved how she challenged me.  I mean, I didn't have to give in, you know?  I could have pushed back, told her she was just drunk, saying stupid shit.  Yeah, yeah, that first fateful fucking night when she dared me to sleep with her.  She wanted to win, and I know she might not have thought that through entirely.  You don't just say shit like that unless you mean it, though.
    Maybe she didn't think I would do it, and maybe that's why she said it in the first place, but I think a part of her wanted it.  I think a part of her just wanted to know what it was like.  Maybe she thought it'd be fine to do it just for one night, and... fuck, that wouldn't have been fine with me.  That's why I suggested the whole stepbrother with benefits thing in the first place.
    I gave her a way out, though.  I told her we could stop.  I wasn't the one that chose this.  I would have fucking chose it if someone gave me the choice, though.
    I don't know if I deserve Ashley.  I really fucking don't.  She probably deserves someone better than me.  Someone like Caleb, maybe.  He seems like an alright guy, though kind of a pussy.  Needs to man up a little, but other than that, he's not the worst.
    I don't know what the fuck I'm saying anymore except that I want to be good for Ashley.  I know I'm not exactly the kind of guy a mother wants dating her daughter, but I want to be.  I don't think my dad is wrong about that.  I don't think he was wrong to say that if Ashley was his daughter, he wouldn't want me dating her.
    It's just...
    It's a challenge, too, you know?  It's like Ashley's dare, except this is my life, and I want to do it, and I want to win.
    Winning means forever.  Happily fucking ever after.  It means love and romance and all the shit I never really thought about before, because I never thought I'd have it.  I wanted other people to find it and have it, but do you know how fucking hard that is?
    Falling in love isn't easy.  I mean really falling in love.  Not lust or temporary satisfaction or settling for someone who is nice to you.  There's nothing wrong with that, either, don't get me wrong.  Sometimes lust can become love.  I mean, fuck, that's kind of what happened with me and Ashley, isn't it?  Sometimes friendship can become love,