The Fall (Book 5): Exodus in Black by Joshua Guess

it bothers me,” Kell admitted. “But I keep coming back to two things. One is that literally anything could be keeping people from showing up. Maybe they don’t want to risk drawing those soldiers here. Some of them might have decided to chance missing us here by taking their time. Anything from engine trouble to flat tires.”
    “Or they might all be dead,” Emily said.
    Kell bobbed his head in agreement. “Or they might all be dead. Which brings me to the other thing: there’s nothing I can do about it either way. If I’m being honest, I do expect some of them to show up here. I’d be willing to bet money a few people are still at home, just hiding in the escape tunnels. We put drinking water in there, remember? They’d have pretty good reason not to want to pop their heads out, after all.”
    Emily considered that. “You probably think I’m being crazy, right? Unreasonable?”
    “Hell, no. If anything, I think you’re being too rational. No reason not to let yourself have a little hope until you know for sure things are as bad as they seem.”
    Her mouth dropped open in naked astonishment. “This from you of all people? You walk around half the time with a chip on your shoulder the size of a continent! You’re the definition of tragic and moody. Where on earth did this Pollyanna streak come from?”
    Kell arched and eyebrow, which had the unfortunate effect of tightening his scar and tugging most of his face off-center. He kept forgetting about that. “Well, I kind of learned it from you. Or, really, it’s because of you.”
    Emily snorted. “We just established my bona fides when it comes to practicality to the point of being goth.”
    “Yeah, but that’s not what I mean,” Kell said. “Mostly. You do have a kind of solidity to you. I went through a lot of ups and downs trying to cope with what my research did to the world. Still do. And losing my family on top of it…” He blinked, expecting the dull pain in his chest at the memory and wasn’t disappointed. “You don’t react that way. You just kind of endure. You cope. I envy that.”
    “But what I really mean is that being with you, just the fact of it, has changed my outlook. I watched my wife and daughter die. I was there. I lost my mind. Part of my brain just shut off after that. It was like having a switch flipped in my head. I didn’t feel attraction to anyone. Ever. The idea of love, that kind of love, became completely alien to me. I couldn’t conceive of opening myself to it ever again. Not after what happened to them.”
    Emily was studying his face and, as always, didn’t seem bothered by what she saw. “What changed? I know we took our time, but you never seemed reluctant. And you never talked about it.”
    Kell smiled, his thoughts drifting. “Life happened, I guess. It wasn’t a moment of revelation or anything. Gradually those circuits started powering up again. By the time you offered to cook for me, the wounds had finally started to scar over. It didn’t feel wrong or like I was betraying Karen. More than anything, that’s what surprised me. The absence of guilt or fear. Like I was almost me again.”
    He rubbed a hand across his jaw. Emily had told him he did that when he was thinking. “Of course, that’s not really how it is, you know? I was just feeling normal. People are always changing. There’s no such thing as going back to who we were.”
     
     
     
     
    A small hand woke him by covering his mouth.
    “It’s Michelle,” the tiny voice said, so close to his ear he could feel her breath. “Someone’s here. Mom sent me to tell you she saw it on the camera.”
    Kell got his hammering heart under control and nodded. Michelle, Andrea’s daughter, removed her hand. “Who is it?”
    The little girl shook her head in the dim light. “She didn’t wait to see. She was worried about everyone else.”
    Of course she was. Andrea wouldn’t risk staying near the entrance if enemies were coming. Though only