The Mill House by Susan Lewis

sex, would you? You gave me the condoms ...'
    'I would mind a great deal,' Julia interrupted. 'I gave you the condoms so you'd know what they are, or in case you found yourself in a situation that ... Well, let's just hope you don't find yourself in such a situation. And whatever happens, you mustn't let Dad know I gave them to you.'
    Shannon squeezed her hard. 'I love you so much, Mum. You're the best mum in all the world.'
    'Can I quote that next time you're yelling at me for not allowing you your own way over something?'
    Shannon's lovely blue eyes seemed more earnest than amused as she said, 'I think Dad really loves you too, Mum. I don't think he's sleeping with anyone else.'
    Julia's heart twisted. 'You've been eavesdropping,' she said, cupping Shannon's face in her hands.
    'Only a bit. I wish you'd be nicer to him.'
    Julia smiled and shook her head. 'What a mixed-up lot we are,' she sighed. 'Me trying to sort you out, you trying to sort me and Dad out...'
    'Oh yuk! Is this a girlie love-in?' Dan protested from the door.
    'Not exclusively,' Julia responded, holding out an arm. 'Certain boys can join in.'
    'No thanks,' he replied. Then abruptly changing his mind, he charged towards them like a bull, and caught them both round the waist.
    'And you want a boyfriend?' Julia said to Shannon as they staggered against the sink.
    'Not one like him,' Shannon retorted, and grabbing Dan by the ears she planted a resounding kiss on his cheek before flashing off up the stairs.
    'OK, so what's on your agenda today, young man?' Julia said, starting to put the breakfast cereals away. 'Do you have any sports?'
    Dan's face fell. I don't know. I lost my agenda,' he said bleakly.
    Julia rolled her eyes in exasperation. 'Dan, term only started a week ago, you can't have lost it already.'
    He hung his head. 'I didn't mean to,' he said.
    With a sinking heart Julia realised that someone had probably stolen it as a prank, hidden it, and
    now he couldn't find it 'We'll get you another,' she said gently 'Then just make sure you hang onto it.' 'Can we look up that butterfly now?' he asked. 'Dad's computer's on. We can use his.'
    As she followed him into Josh's hallowed territory that they all regularly invaded, she found her thoughts going back to the mysterious telephone call and wondered if it really had been her father - and if it had, why he would be in touch now, after all these years. It was bizarre, and such a shock she wasn't entirely sure she'd taken it in. Maybe she'd ring her sister, see if he'd tried to call her, though she knew she wouldn't, because if Pam hadn't heard anything the old rivalry would begin again. And if Pam had ...
    A memory of her father's face cut off the thought, his soft grey-blue eyes, long nose, square chin and high forehead. He'd always seemed to be laughing, never cross, unfailingly interested in what she was saying, or ready to take part in her new adventures. She tried to hear the sound of his voice, the playfulness and laughter; his pleasure when she did well and concern when she didn't. It was all there somewhere, along with the feelings of love and contentment, the excitement and eagerness to please. She just couldn't seem to reach past all the closed doors between now and then to find it.
    'Sometimes it feels as though I'm not a real person any more,' Julia was confessing to Sylvia later. 'It's as though I've come adrift from myself and my family and I'm not sure how it happened, or how to find my way back.'
    Sylvia's perfect eyebrows arched with irony. 'You're forty and a mother,' she responded lightly. 'Crises go with the territory.'
    Humour sparked in Julia's eyes as she said, 'You're always such a comfort to me, Sylvie. How would I manage without you?'
    As Sylvia looked up from the bottle she was opening, she was smiling in the affectionate, teasing way Julia knew so well, for they'd been friends since their early twenties, and though they'd made very different life choices back then, they'd always