The Suicide Club by Rhys Thomas

something. But I’d much prefer to come to somewhere like this and just talk.’
    I smiled. I preferred things like this as well; we all did. It wasn’t just going to the lake, it was far more than that. I had always felt like I was different from most of the kids at my school. They all seemed so normal, they fitted in so well. I was popular in school, but I felt like I was lying. I felt like I had to act different to how I was so that I could fit in.
    â€˜I know it doesn’t seem like it sometimes, and sometimes I think the world has got something really wrong with it, but I just
know
that there are other people like us, who feel the same way as us, all over the place. Do you know what I mean?’
    I did know. I knew exactly what he meant. Nobody said anything.
    â€˜They probably feel really cut off, but they’re not. It just feels that way because there’s a big distance between us. That’s what special is – being rare, right? But I want to find people like that and hold on to them. Don’t you think that would be great? Like if there was a sort of club?’
    â€˜A club for lost souls?’ I said dramatically.
    â€˜Yes! And we’ll find each other and when we do we’ll make sure we live our lives to the absolute limit. All of the people who refuse to give up on their dreams will go together into the unknown, wherever it may take us, and leave everyone else behind.’
    I thought for a moment about my dream of writing cartoons for kids and wondered if I would ever give up on that. The way things were looking I’d go to university and study something that would give me a safe career because that was what my parents wanted. I didn’t want to do it, but I certainly felt the pressure.
    Freddy brushed his hand through his hair. It looked like he may have been getting upset – it was hard to tell.
    â€˜I see adults walking around and I think, What happened to you? Why did you give up? I’ve actually said this to my dad and he just said, “You’ll learn.’”
    I didn’t know if he was still talking to us at this point, but we were certainly still listening.
    â€˜Well, I don’t really want to learn that lesson. It doesn’t sound like much of a thing to learn – how to collapse. People always said that I’d stop liking this or stop liking that when I got older, but it’s never happened so far. I still have my
Phantom Menace
figures! One of my teachers asked me if I wanted to drive a nice car when I’m older and I said that that sort of thing doesn’t really interest me and he told me that it will when I see my friends driving around in them.’ He leaned forward and looked at us. ‘But I don’t believe that. I don’t think I ever will.’
    â€˜My parents always say that to me!’ Matthew exclaimed. ‘I know what you mean!’ I was surprised how urgently he said it; he was usually so sceptical about this sort of dreamy-talking. I noticed that he had his arm around Jenny. She was looking out across the lake, not saying anything.Her parents were probably the strictest out of all of us.
    â€˜I think we just have to hang on. That’s the secret. Like as if we’re in a tree and life is trying to shake us out. Nearly everyone will fall off but I think a few people can stick it out if they have each other for support. People like us.’ He swallowed. ‘That’s what I mean.’
    â€˜But it’s not that easy, is it?’ said Matthew. ‘It’s nice to talk about it, sure, but you have to get a job eventually.’
    â€˜Yeah, but not doing something you hate. That’s what I mean. You don’t want to have a miserable life.’
    Clare sat up.
    â€˜I want to hear more about this adventure.’
    Freddy’s tone changed suddenly. The serious side of him had suddenly left and a playful side had taken its place.
    â€˜It’s an adventure,