Vérité by Rachel Blaufeld

huge lump of regret lodged in my vocal cords.
    “Well, you got yours and I got mine, and they’re . . . different. And yeah, I wanna be friends with you, Rex, but like I said, I kinda want more. I know you’re hesitating, and if I come upstairs and we make a mistake, then what? Then I don’t even got you as a friend anymore.” His light eyes stared into mine, the moonlight reflecting in their crystalline depths.
    “We’re adults, Tiberius. I don’t think we need commitments or anything like that,” I answered, zipping up my hard shell.
    If I could have a one-night stand or an affair with my teacher, of course I could sleep with a younger guy. So, what gives? I certainly wasn’t going to admit I wanted more, that I yearned for commitment or for someone to love me unconditionally. But I was charged up, thanks to the man in front of me, and for some odd reason I didn’t feel the need to apologize for feeling that way.
    “Well, I do.” His hand continued to stroke my cheek. “You wave your sins around, blaming having a past or some bullshit like that for not getting close. Well, I got no past like that. I got little experience because if it doesn’t mean anything, why bother?”
    I stared at him, waiting for him to change his mind as the floodlight in front of the building cast a warm glow around his body.
    “First we’ll have that dinner like I wanted earlier, then I’ll come up.” He gave me a small smile, then kissed me on my cheek and walked away without another word.
    Little experience? And he wants me?

S ince I’d lost my hiding spot at the Union and Tiberius knew where to find me, I’d gone back to eating in the dining hall with Ginny for the last week and a half. Of course, this meant listening to her constantly giggle over “Bryce this” and “Bryce that.” I had to keep from laughing out loud at what a lovesick puppy she’d become, but she was happy, so I swallowed any negative feelings and smiled at her.
    I had to give it to the guy. Bryce had moves, showing up at her practice with flowers and taking her for romantic Italian dinners in town. As for me, I was running at an excruciating pace, punishing myself with every footfall, and sneaking in and out of study hall with ten minutes to spare on both ends.
    I wasn’t sure if Tiberius was happy with the arrangement or just letting me have my way. We were back to not speaking, and rightfully so. Everything was weird now that he went and called attention to my whorish tendencies. Who the hell was he, some kind of altar boy? Apparently .
    The following Friday, while munching on a few carrots, I half heard Bryce approach our table. “You better eat something more than that, Tingly. You’re fading away to bones with all that running,” he taunted me.
    “Yeah, yeah, Bryce. You just worry about yourself and fitting into those tight spandex pants of yours,” I shot back, returning his sarcasm in earnest.
    He turned to Ginny, saying, “Hey, babe,” and leaned in to kiss the top of her head.
    Blech.
    “What’re you girls up to this weekend? Last weekend before classes, you should live it up a little. Or a lot.” He squeezed in next to Ginny on the bench. He was as wide as Tiberius was tall.
    “Nothing. Running.” That was me.
    Ginny sat quietly, waiting for an invite to whatever Bryce came over to hype up.
    Laying his enormous arms on the table, Bryce said, “Well, good thing, I got something for you to do. Big party over at the Commons Apartments. Saturday, top floor, ten p.m. until the next morning. Gonna be a rager, so come ready to get down.”
    Fireworks were practically going off in his green eyes at the prospect of a rager . God, he reminded me so much of the guys back home, all about booze and babes. And incredibly boring. But Ginny really liked him, so I had to be nice.
    “Not sure, but I’ll sleep on it,” I said, going back to my carrots and eyeing my pasta.
    “Come on, Ting, it’ll be fun. You can’t sit in the dorm all