the side of his truck. I said nothing when you planned on sending him to a brainwashing Bible camp to somehow ‘cure’ him of his gayness. I even said nothing when you tried to stop the Tyler boy from speaking the truth at Kelly’s funeral. But you know what? I am done. I told them they could use Kelly’s name, and that decision is final. I cannot believe it is barely a week after we buried our son, and you are still more concerned about our reputation, and, no doubt, your round of golf, but it ends now.” I stood up and watched him stare at me in shock. “And you’re wrong. We do not have to live here—I do. You’re free to get the hell out, and don’t bother coming back. Because effective right now, William, there is no ‘us.’”
I waited for him to say something, but it was his turn to say nothing.
“Don’t be here when I get back.” I locked eyes with him. “I’m not kidding.”
I grabbed my purse and left, never once looking back.
I WALKED into Nancy’s and saw Gayle sitting in one of the booths talking to someone. I couldn’t place him from the back, but as I walked by and took a table, I could see it was Brad, Kelly’s best friend from school. Instead of sitting down, I made my way to the back where the restrooms were and fled into the women’s room before I could be seen. Tears came unbidden as I hid in one of the stalls.
Just seeing Brad had brought back a flush of memories I had been fleeing from all week, and I couldn’t stop them. Brad had practically grown up in our house. For a while he was like the brother Kelly never had. We had always talked about having more kids, but it never happened. Instead we focused all our efforts on the one son we did have, which of course became a euphemism for “focusing only on ourselves.” I wonder, if he had a sibling, whether things would have been different.
“Dorothy?” a voice asked me from the other side of the stall.
I recognized Gayle’s voice and tried to wipe the tears away quickly. “Just a second, please,” I called back, wondering what a couple of seconds would accomplish. Sighing, I opened the stall and walked out slowly. I felt like a little girl getting caught by a truant officer.
“I thought I saw you rush past,” she said, reaching out and pulling me into a hug. “I didn’t expect to see you out yet.”
I hugged her back and took a deep breath for the first time since I found Kelly.
I had known Gayle forever. I don’t remember a time where she wasn’t running Nancy’s Diner, the center of all Foster. William had taken me here on our first date, and every Friday when Kelly got to choose where we ate dinner, he always chose Nancy’s. I don’t know many people from Foster who don’t have a list of memories that include this diner and Gayle with it.
“I think I just left William,” I whispered to her.
She pulled back and looked me directly in the eyes for a long couple of seconds. Gayle had this ability to just look into your eyes and somehow divine the truth out of them in a way that words could never quite convey. Finally she let out a sigh and said, “Good. Are you okay?”
I nodded and then walked over to the mirror. “As good as I can be. I saw Brad out there and just lost it.” I dabbed at my eyes with some tissue. “I really don’t think I am ever going to be okay again.”
She came up behind me, put her hands on my shoulders, and gave me a warm smile. “You are okay, Dorothy. You’re just going through the worst possible thing a mother can ever endure. Give it some time.”
“Why?” I asked her, putting some concealer on. “Is it somehow going to miraculously get better?”
Without missing a beat, she said, “No, you’ll just get better at hiding it from everyone else.” It was the most truthful thing anyone had said to me since Kelly’s death. “Come back to the kitchen, let me make you some food, and we can talk away from everyone.”
We sat by the back door and shared a
I waited for him to say something, but it was his turn to say nothing.
“Don’t be here when I get back.” I locked eyes with him. “I’m not kidding.”
I grabbed my purse and left, never once looking back.
I WALKED into Nancy’s and saw Gayle sitting in one of the booths talking to someone. I couldn’t place him from the back, but as I walked by and took a table, I could see it was Brad, Kelly’s best friend from school. Instead of sitting down, I made my way to the back where the restrooms were and fled into the women’s room before I could be seen. Tears came unbidden as I hid in one of the stalls.
Just seeing Brad had brought back a flush of memories I had been fleeing from all week, and I couldn’t stop them. Brad had practically grown up in our house. For a while he was like the brother Kelly never had. We had always talked about having more kids, but it never happened. Instead we focused all our efforts on the one son we did have, which of course became a euphemism for “focusing only on ourselves.” I wonder, if he had a sibling, whether things would have been different.
“Dorothy?” a voice asked me from the other side of the stall.
I recognized Gayle’s voice and tried to wipe the tears away quickly. “Just a second, please,” I called back, wondering what a couple of seconds would accomplish. Sighing, I opened the stall and walked out slowly. I felt like a little girl getting caught by a truant officer.
“I thought I saw you rush past,” she said, reaching out and pulling me into a hug. “I didn’t expect to see you out yet.”
I hugged her back and took a deep breath for the first time since I found Kelly.
I had known Gayle forever. I don’t remember a time where she wasn’t running Nancy’s Diner, the center of all Foster. William had taken me here on our first date, and every Friday when Kelly got to choose where we ate dinner, he always chose Nancy’s. I don’t know many people from Foster who don’t have a list of memories that include this diner and Gayle with it.
“I think I just left William,” I whispered to her.
She pulled back and looked me directly in the eyes for a long couple of seconds. Gayle had this ability to just look into your eyes and somehow divine the truth out of them in a way that words could never quite convey. Finally she let out a sigh and said, “Good. Are you okay?”
I nodded and then walked over to the mirror. “As good as I can be. I saw Brad out there and just lost it.” I dabbed at my eyes with some tissue. “I really don’t think I am ever going to be okay again.”
She came up behind me, put her hands on my shoulders, and gave me a warm smile. “You are okay, Dorothy. You’re just going through the worst possible thing a mother can ever endure. Give it some time.”
“Why?” I asked her, putting some concealer on. “Is it somehow going to miraculously get better?”
Without missing a beat, she said, “No, you’ll just get better at hiding it from everyone else.” It was the most truthful thing anyone had said to me since Kelly’s death. “Come back to the kitchen, let me make you some food, and we can talk away from everyone.”
We sat by the back door and shared a
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