personal whore.
“I won’t leave you again Jenny.” We are walking slowly now. “I want to tell you about my past. It may not make what I’ve done any better, but it may help you to understand the screwed up human being that I am.
“I just don’t know if I can take anymore Hamilton.” Jenny looks at me sadly. “I barely know you, yet you have torn my world apart in every way imaginable.”
“Just let me explain.” I stop her and look into her eyes. “Please..”
“Okay,” She looks searchingly into my eyes and I see the goodness radiating from her. I had noticed it that very first day that I met her. I should have never doubter her or her sincerity.
“Let’s go sit down.” I point to a park bench that is about 200 yards away.
Chapter 9
I can feel Hamilton staring at me in concern. I don’t know whether to be excited or not. It seemed like he was really contrite and sorry about how he had treated me before but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. The last time he apologized, he proposed and ended walking out on me. I didn’t want to hope that things would be different this time.
“Jenny,” Hamilton took my hand as he said my name, “I want to tell you about my first love.” I want to tell him to stop as I immediately feel pangs of jealousy darting through me. I don’t want to hear about the woman who made him the way he is. I don’t want to hear that he still loves her.
“Ok.” I say quietly. I don’t want him to realize that I love him. Not now that there is a possibility that we can be in each other’s lives. I don’t want to scare him off. I listen intently as he talks about proposing to his college sweetheart and my heart contracts. I know he proposed to her because he loved her, not because she got pregnant. I truly felt sorry for him when he told me that he caught her in bed with someone else. And I understood why he didn’t trust women. Almost.
“But, I’m not her Hamilton. And I’ve never given you any reason to think that I am like that.”
“I know, I know. I just heard you talking and I felt a jab of pain and I knew I couldn’t go through that again. Only being wanted for the money I could provide.”
“But I never wanted your money. I even gave you back the 10 grand!” I can feel myself getting heated. “You treated me like shit Hamilton. From that very first day, I’ve been nothing to you than a plaything. A sex toy of sorts.” I lower my voice as I notice a couple walking by giving me a dirty look.
“And now random people look at me in the streets and hate me.” I’m getting hysterical; half laughing and half crying.
“Who cares about random people?” Hamilton looks at me slightly concerned. I can tell this is not the way he thought the conversation was going to go.
“That’s not the point,” I start to shout again. “You just don’t get it.” I want you to love me I think. I want to be your world. I want to be the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last thing you think of at night. I want to be your everything. Just like you are mine. But I can’t tell him that. He’ll think that I’m crazy.
“I’m willing to try Jenny.” Hamilton looks at me hopefully.
“Willing to try what?” I’m annoyed and cold and I want to go home and cry in my bed.
“I’m willing to try to get it. If you’ll let me?”
“You, you want me to be your mistress still?” I
“I won’t leave you again Jenny.” We are walking slowly now. “I want to tell you about my past. It may not make what I’ve done any better, but it may help you to understand the screwed up human being that I am.
“I just don’t know if I can take anymore Hamilton.” Jenny looks at me sadly. “I barely know you, yet you have torn my world apart in every way imaginable.”
“Just let me explain.” I stop her and look into her eyes. “Please..”
“Okay,” She looks searchingly into my eyes and I see the goodness radiating from her. I had noticed it that very first day that I met her. I should have never doubter her or her sincerity.
“Let’s go sit down.” I point to a park bench that is about 200 yards away.
Chapter 9
I can feel Hamilton staring at me in concern. I don’t know whether to be excited or not. It seemed like he was really contrite and sorry about how he had treated me before but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. The last time he apologized, he proposed and ended walking out on me. I didn’t want to hope that things would be different this time.
“Jenny,” Hamilton took my hand as he said my name, “I want to tell you about my first love.” I want to tell him to stop as I immediately feel pangs of jealousy darting through me. I don’t want to hear about the woman who made him the way he is. I don’t want to hear that he still loves her.
“Ok.” I say quietly. I don’t want him to realize that I love him. Not now that there is a possibility that we can be in each other’s lives. I don’t want to scare him off. I listen intently as he talks about proposing to his college sweetheart and my heart contracts. I know he proposed to her because he loved her, not because she got pregnant. I truly felt sorry for him when he told me that he caught her in bed with someone else. And I understood why he didn’t trust women. Almost.
“But, I’m not her Hamilton. And I’ve never given you any reason to think that I am like that.”
“I know, I know. I just heard you talking and I felt a jab of pain and I knew I couldn’t go through that again. Only being wanted for the money I could provide.”
“But I never wanted your money. I even gave you back the 10 grand!” I can feel myself getting heated. “You treated me like shit Hamilton. From that very first day, I’ve been nothing to you than a plaything. A sex toy of sorts.” I lower my voice as I notice a couple walking by giving me a dirty look.
“And now random people look at me in the streets and hate me.” I’m getting hysterical; half laughing and half crying.
“Who cares about random people?” Hamilton looks at me slightly concerned. I can tell this is not the way he thought the conversation was going to go.
“That’s not the point,” I start to shout again. “You just don’t get it.” I want you to love me I think. I want to be your world. I want to be the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last thing you think of at night. I want to be your everything. Just like you are mine. But I can’t tell him that. He’ll think that I’m crazy.
“I’m willing to try Jenny.” Hamilton looks at me hopefully.
“Willing to try what?” I’m annoyed and cold and I want to go home and cry in my bed.
“I’m willing to try to get it. If you’ll let me?”
“You, you want me to be your mistress still?” I
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