the world,” our leader said. “You were too young to see or to assist as your brothers and sisters arrived, too young to gain experience except to comfort little
Kinder
in the household. So let me advise.” He made a tent of his fingers, leaned back in his high chair. “The infant presses against the smallest of bony places, where blood pours to weaken the woman as she writhes in pain. She pushes to bring forth this child, rising above the arc of searing torment.” He lifted his eyes to the heavens as he spoke, raising his long arms to sweep over the arc he described. “I have witnessed nine such trying times with my own beloved Louisa. All this pain is created to remind women—even devout women like my Louisa—of their early sin. Sometimes,” he almost whispered now, “small women do not live through this. Even with poultices to stop the bleeding, they die. Sometimes the infants die. The sins of the father are meted out onto their offspring and death results. You have not witnessed this, Emma Wagner. You are not prepared for this. I cannot have Chris marry a woman whose needs will overpower his work, a woman who could not endure the trials of Eve’s first sin.”
My face grew warm. I had no choice but to let my tongue speak out. All would be lost if I didn’t; it was probably lost before I started. “Perhaps this childbirth pain suggests some flaw in God’s design if the birth canal is so much smaller than an infant’s head.”
He gasped. “You blaspheme,” he hissed, his eyes like black coal burning.
There was no going back. “I’ve heard that your herbs help relieve a woman in her time,” I said, holding his stare. “Are you interfering then with God’s design for the capture of each woman’s soul?”
“Not now,” Christian interrupted.
“You’re quick with your words, Emma Wagner. But quick wit does not prepare you for life’s tragedies. And these will come, mark my word. Mark God’s words from Deuteronomy: ‘I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing—’ ”
“ ‘—therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live.’ Deuteronomy 30:19.” I finished the quote, ever grateful the words had not escaped my reading just that morning.
He actually stepped back. I didn’t know what Christian might think of my quoting Scripture to our leader; I hesitated to take my eyes from those black accusing coals.
We heard shouts of children playing below us. Our leader’s little bottles of tinctures rattled as he stepped from around his desk.
Christian cleared his throat. “You see, Wilhelm, she is called to be my wife and to bring forth my seed. She will look to the good of things and choose life. Is that not what we need? Is that not how the colony will truly grow, not just by new people coming to see our ways but by raising children up in the ‘way that they should go’? This too is scriptural.”
“ ‘Be fruitful, and multiply,’ ” I added.
Christian gave me a look, and I dropped my eyes. To our leader, I said, “I only meant to say that just because one has not experienced something doesn’t mean one can’t rise to meet the challenge when called to. I am up to the challenges of being a good wife within this colony.”
Our leader’s eyes focused on something high and behind us. “Wemay not have long life in this colony,” he said finally. “I’ve told you, Chris, of my concerns, of the work we must do to ready our people. This woman will distract you.”
“This woman will renew me.”
Our leader clapped his hands then, startling both of us. At least I jerked in my seat. “You vill do vhat you vill do,” he said. “I do not give my blessing. It will go against my belief about the rightness of this, but I vill not stand in your way. Marry in Shelby County if you are so inclined to set aside my visdom on this matter. But you may have the party here, at Elim, and have the marriage
Kinder
in the household. So let me advise.” He made a tent of his fingers, leaned back in his high chair. “The infant presses against the smallest of bony places, where blood pours to weaken the woman as she writhes in pain. She pushes to bring forth this child, rising above the arc of searing torment.” He lifted his eyes to the heavens as he spoke, raising his long arms to sweep over the arc he described. “I have witnessed nine such trying times with my own beloved Louisa. All this pain is created to remind women—even devout women like my Louisa—of their early sin. Sometimes,” he almost whispered now, “small women do not live through this. Even with poultices to stop the bleeding, they die. Sometimes the infants die. The sins of the father are meted out onto their offspring and death results. You have not witnessed this, Emma Wagner. You are not prepared for this. I cannot have Chris marry a woman whose needs will overpower his work, a woman who could not endure the trials of Eve’s first sin.”
My face grew warm. I had no choice but to let my tongue speak out. All would be lost if I didn’t; it was probably lost before I started. “Perhaps this childbirth pain suggests some flaw in God’s design if the birth canal is so much smaller than an infant’s head.”
He gasped. “You blaspheme,” he hissed, his eyes like black coal burning.
There was no going back. “I’ve heard that your herbs help relieve a woman in her time,” I said, holding his stare. “Are you interfering then with God’s design for the capture of each woman’s soul?”
“Not now,” Christian interrupted.
“You’re quick with your words, Emma Wagner. But quick wit does not prepare you for life’s tragedies. And these will come, mark my word. Mark God’s words from Deuteronomy: ‘I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing—’ ”
“ ‘—therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live.’ Deuteronomy 30:19.” I finished the quote, ever grateful the words had not escaped my reading just that morning.
He actually stepped back. I didn’t know what Christian might think of my quoting Scripture to our leader; I hesitated to take my eyes from those black accusing coals.
We heard shouts of children playing below us. Our leader’s little bottles of tinctures rattled as he stepped from around his desk.
Christian cleared his throat. “You see, Wilhelm, she is called to be my wife and to bring forth my seed. She will look to the good of things and choose life. Is that not what we need? Is that not how the colony will truly grow, not just by new people coming to see our ways but by raising children up in the ‘way that they should go’? This too is scriptural.”
“ ‘Be fruitful, and multiply,’ ” I added.
Christian gave me a look, and I dropped my eyes. To our leader, I said, “I only meant to say that just because one has not experienced something doesn’t mean one can’t rise to meet the challenge when called to. I am up to the challenges of being a good wife within this colony.”
Our leader’s eyes focused on something high and behind us. “Wemay not have long life in this colony,” he said finally. “I’ve told you, Chris, of my concerns, of the work we must do to ready our people. This woman will distract you.”
“This woman will renew me.”
Our leader clapped his hands then, startling both of us. At least I jerked in my seat. “You vill do vhat you vill do,” he said. “I do not give my blessing. It will go against my belief about the rightness of this, but I vill not stand in your way. Marry in Shelby County if you are so inclined to set aside my visdom on this matter. But you may have the party here, at Elim, and have the marriage
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