A Dream to Follow by Lauraine Snelling Page A

behind in your schoolwork?”
    “No, sir, but . . .” Thorliff thought of his hours ahead. “Just have a lot to get done before graduation.”
    “I see.” Haakan and Ingeborg exchanged a look. “Then I suggest you take the next afternoons and finish before you fall asleep on the plow and fall off. You can get hurt right bad thataway.”
    Thorliff nodded. “Thank you.”
    “And tonight, get to bed early.”
    “Yes, sir.” Thorliff took another bite of his bread. “What about hiring Baptiste?”
    “Good idea. I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Since he’s been providing much of the meat for the boardinghouse, he’s not had much free time.”
    The next afternoon Thorliff arrived home to see his team already out in the field. Ignoring the guilt that thrashed him about the head and shoulders, he helped Andrew yoke up the oxen, then set to his books. With the extra sleep he’d been able to accomplish more during school too, so when Haakan blew out the lamp, Thorliff closed his books and headed up the stairs.
    “Thanks again, Pa.”
    “You’re welcome. There’s some letters to go in the mail tomorrow if you’d take them with you in the morning.”
    “Of course. Good night.” Thorliff stumbled on the top stair and caught himself on the doorframe. Was he really that tired? He crawled into bed without disturbing the sleeping Andrew and rolled onto his side so he could look out the window. Sayings from the apostle Paul and from Aristotle chased each other through the maze of his mind, as if the two were debating. But when they both began speaking in Norwegian, he pulled the pillow over his head. Run the race . He repeated the words in both English and Norwegian. God, what is the race you have set before me? How can I run it if I don’t know?
    When he woke in the morning to the sound of Haakan calling his name, he felt as if he’d been running all night.

    The following Sunday, graduation day dawned clear and sunny like all the days preceding. Thorliff knelt by the windowsill to watch the flaming orange disc break clear of the horizon. Shouldn’t there be fireworks or something spectacular to herald this day?
    “Lord God, beginning and ending, how can one thing be both?” He whispered the words so as not to wake Andrew. He needed every moment of rest possible, just like his older brother. But sleep had been hard to come by the night before, and Thorliff had risen before the rooster crowed, when the sunrise was only a promise of narrow silver.
    If only I knew for sure what I am going to do . He rested his chin on his crossed hands and listened to the wrens twitting their morning song, the cheery notes seeming to promise good things ahead.
    “Thorliff, Andrew, cows to milk.” Ingeborg’s voice floated up the stairs at the same time Haakan’s whistle told Paws to round up the cows. Most of them would already be lined up at the back barn door, patiently waiting to trail inside.
    Andrew stirred in the bed, then his feet hit the floor. “You all right?”
    “Ja.” Thorliff stood, his knee creaking a protest after kneeling on the hard floor for so long. They shrugged into their overalls and headed for the barn.
    “Ready for the big day?” Ingeborg called after him. Thorliff didn’t answer. Didn’t matter if he was ready or not, the day was here and would go on in spite of him. The thought brought up his coming commencement speech. Now he had a whole flock of butterflies chasing around in his middle. All the while his hands pulled milk from the cows, his mind repeated his speech. How come the other day it sounded just fine, and now it seemed like barley chaff to blow away on the wind?
    “You ready, Thorliff?” Astrid greeted him with a grin after the men had washed up at the outside bench.
    “I guess.” He rubbed his middle.
    “Hungry, son? Let’s get seated and say grace.” Ingeborg set a platter of sliced ham on the table. When they were all seated, Haakan waited for silence. After the normal I Jesu navn,