frowned at her but had to consider that. “You may have a point. But they still didn’t have to be so shitty about it.”
“Of course they did,” she countered. “Abs, this is L.A. There’s a psychic on every street corner and most of them suck. You know that.”
“Yeah, but
I
don’t, Candice!” I snapped. “And it’s not just my word they had to take into account. It’s the
entire
Austin bureau
and
Director Gaston!”
Candice let me verbally thrash around in frustration for a bit longer before she looked at me sadly and said, “Abby, no one wants everyone to accept you more than the people who know you and love you, but the world isn’t ready for someone like you. You’re asking not just this person or that person to change their approach to you, but the entire planet to come at you differently. What you don’t get is that you
are
different from most everyone you meet, and that’s why they’re wary when you first tell them you’re psychic. They don’t know anything about what that actually means or if you’re perhaps certifiably crazy. And while I can’t imagine what it’d be like to exist in a place where I’m constantly judged, underestimated, and maligned, I think that this frustration you have over wanting the whole world to approach you differently could eat you up pretty good if you let it.”
My defenses were still up. “So I should just
let
them treat me that way? I should just accept it and not allow it to affect me?!”
“Yes,” she said.
My jaw dropped and I stared at her in stunned silence.
Candice reached forward and put a hand on my arm,squeezing gently. “Sundance,” she began, “whatever opinions, thoughts, or preconceived notions other people have of you, they’re
other
people’s stuff. You don’t own
any
of that. You only own your stuff. It’s not up to you to fix, resolve, or change other people’s minds or even prove to them that you’re the real deal. It’s only up to you to be
you
. And you are the best you that I know, and I’m damn proud to be your friend.”
I looked down at Candice’s hand on my arm. “It’s just so hard to walk into all that doubt, Candice. It was so hostile in there.”
She squeezed her grip a little to reassure me. “I totally get it. But you know you don’t have to mirror that attitude, right? I mean, wouldn’t it be better to be your own dazzling portrait rather than someone else’s reflection, Abby?”
She paused for effect and I had to admit that her analogy struck a deep chord with me. I wanted to respond to that, but Candice wasn’t quite finished doling out the wisdom, and she continued by saying, “If you can simply allow everyone else to think or feel about you how they will, it will free you up completely to just be you and not the mirror image of the person you’re busy sniping back at. And, just so you know, girl, you’re not so bad to hang out with when you’re not in the mood to rip someone’s head off their shoulders.”
I offered her a crooked smile. “I can be delightful. . . .”
“Yes. Yes, you can. You can also be a total pain in the ass. The choice to be one or the other is completely up to you. What you need to understand is that it costs you less overall to remain unfazed by whatever attitude someone else wants to throw at you while you’re simply being you.”
I heard everything that Candice was saying and I grudgingly had to admit that she made a whole lotta sense. I was super thin-skinned. I got that from being told I was less than acceptable and totally unwanted by parents who
never
should’vehad children. The adult me (over)reacted to nearly every perceived slight because I was always walking around on the defensive. I found plenty of people willing to slight me, too, and I wondered if maybe I’d brought a lot of that on myself.
Mentally I went back over the meeting at the L.A. bureau, and I realized that if I hadn’t actually called the agents out on their bullshit, perhaps I
“Of course they did,” she countered. “Abs, this is L.A. There’s a psychic on every street corner and most of them suck. You know that.”
“Yeah, but
I
don’t, Candice!” I snapped. “And it’s not just my word they had to take into account. It’s the
entire
Austin bureau
and
Director Gaston!”
Candice let me verbally thrash around in frustration for a bit longer before she looked at me sadly and said, “Abby, no one wants everyone to accept you more than the people who know you and love you, but the world isn’t ready for someone like you. You’re asking not just this person or that person to change their approach to you, but the entire planet to come at you differently. What you don’t get is that you
are
different from most everyone you meet, and that’s why they’re wary when you first tell them you’re psychic. They don’t know anything about what that actually means or if you’re perhaps certifiably crazy. And while I can’t imagine what it’d be like to exist in a place where I’m constantly judged, underestimated, and maligned, I think that this frustration you have over wanting the whole world to approach you differently could eat you up pretty good if you let it.”
My defenses were still up. “So I should just
let
them treat me that way? I should just accept it and not allow it to affect me?!”
“Yes,” she said.
My jaw dropped and I stared at her in stunned silence.
Candice reached forward and put a hand on my arm,squeezing gently. “Sundance,” she began, “whatever opinions, thoughts, or preconceived notions other people have of you, they’re
other
people’s stuff. You don’t own
any
of that. You only own your stuff. It’s not up to you to fix, resolve, or change other people’s minds or even prove to them that you’re the real deal. It’s only up to you to be
you
. And you are the best you that I know, and I’m damn proud to be your friend.”
I looked down at Candice’s hand on my arm. “It’s just so hard to walk into all that doubt, Candice. It was so hostile in there.”
She squeezed her grip a little to reassure me. “I totally get it. But you know you don’t have to mirror that attitude, right? I mean, wouldn’t it be better to be your own dazzling portrait rather than someone else’s reflection, Abby?”
She paused for effect and I had to admit that her analogy struck a deep chord with me. I wanted to respond to that, but Candice wasn’t quite finished doling out the wisdom, and she continued by saying, “If you can simply allow everyone else to think or feel about you how they will, it will free you up completely to just be you and not the mirror image of the person you’re busy sniping back at. And, just so you know, girl, you’re not so bad to hang out with when you’re not in the mood to rip someone’s head off their shoulders.”
I offered her a crooked smile. “I can be delightful. . . .”
“Yes. Yes, you can. You can also be a total pain in the ass. The choice to be one or the other is completely up to you. What you need to understand is that it costs you less overall to remain unfazed by whatever attitude someone else wants to throw at you while you’re simply being you.”
I heard everything that Candice was saying and I grudgingly had to admit that she made a whole lotta sense. I was super thin-skinned. I got that from being told I was less than acceptable and totally unwanted by parents who
never
should’vehad children. The adult me (over)reacted to nearly every perceived slight because I was always walking around on the defensive. I found plenty of people willing to slight me, too, and I wondered if maybe I’d brought a lot of that on myself.
Mentally I went back over the meeting at the L.A. bureau, and I realized that if I hadn’t actually called the agents out on their bullshit, perhaps I
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