uncomplicated, grateful love she felt for Charles. And then there was Leo.
‘Anyway,’ said Leo, ‘we didn’t come here to talk about me. Tell me what it is you want to say.’
She glanced down at her hands. ‘I wanted to see if we couldn’t come to some agreement about Oliver. You know that what you suggested in terms of access is completely impracticable—’
‘Why? Why shouldn’t I have him every other weekend? He’s my son, for God’s sake.’
Rachel sighed. ‘He’s too little. He’s still too little. He hasn’t seen you for four weeks—’
‘That’s not my fault. I told you I’ve been tied up with this case.’
‘Leo, I know that. All I’m trying to say is that it would be very disruptive for him to be taken away from me for two days every fortnight. He’s too young to understand what’s going on. He’d miss me.’
‘It’s not as though he doesn’t know me. I am his father. And how am I supposed to build any kind of a relationship with him unless I see him regularly?’
‘No one’s saying you shouldn’t see him regularly. I want that, too. It just seems more sensible if you were to come to Bath to see him. You could take him out—’
‘Rachel, you’re missing the point. I want him with me. I want him to have his own room, to have breakfast with me, to do things together. I don’t just want to visit him in Charles Beecham’s house—’
‘That’s what this is about, isn’t it?’ Rachel interrupted.
‘What?’
‘It’s about Charles. You’re jealous of him, whether because of me or because of Oliver, I don’t know, but—’
Leo threw back his head and laughed. ‘Christ, Rachel, you can’t get anything right, can you?’ She gazed at him.‘I’m not jealous of Charles Beecham. If I’m jealous of anyone, it’s of you. This may surprise you - though God knows it shouldn’t, given what you know of me - but I was in love with dear Charles for some months before I discovered that I was quite mistaken about his proclivities. So please don’t imagine that I wish I were in his bed. Not with you in it, at any rate.’
He had seen it before, the way the blood drained from her cheeks, leaving her looking even paler than usual. But never before had he seen this much coldness and pain in her eyes. When she spoke, her breathing was rapid, her voice little above a hard whisper. ‘You are an out-and-out bastard, Leo, did you know that?’
Leo drained the remains of his Scotch. ‘I think I recall telling you something along those lines before you married me.’
There was a silence. When Rachel spoke again, she managed to keep her tone even and controlled. ‘I suppose I should thank you for reminding me of one very good reason why I shouldn’t let Oliver come and stay with you. I don’t really want him being exposed to your various boyfriends, or your unpleasant lifestyle.’
This threw Leo momentarily. ‘That’s rubbish, Rachel, and you know it. Oliver is more important to me than anyone else in the world. Do you really think I would be so stupid? I just want to have him with me, to be a father to him, to give him a home he can come to.’
‘I don’t think I want him coming to your kind of home, Leo. And if your solicitor tries to push this one, I may just find myself having to dredge up a few unpleasant truthsabout your past to show how unfit you would be to have custody of any child.’
‘Stop it, Rachel,’ muttered Leo. He wished he’d never said anything about Charles. Why did he have this need to wound her, when it only went against his own interests? ‘You’re being utterly bloody unreasonable.’
‘Really? Frankly, I hoped we might be able to have a civilised conversation about our son and what’s best for him. You don’t seem to care about that.’
‘Christ, Rachel, I do care.’ He leant forward suddenly. ‘Don’t punish me. I just want to be with him.’
Rachel dropped her gaze from his. Why did he have this effect on her? Hating him only
‘Anyway,’ said Leo, ‘we didn’t come here to talk about me. Tell me what it is you want to say.’
She glanced down at her hands. ‘I wanted to see if we couldn’t come to some agreement about Oliver. You know that what you suggested in terms of access is completely impracticable—’
‘Why? Why shouldn’t I have him every other weekend? He’s my son, for God’s sake.’
Rachel sighed. ‘He’s too little. He’s still too little. He hasn’t seen you for four weeks—’
‘That’s not my fault. I told you I’ve been tied up with this case.’
‘Leo, I know that. All I’m trying to say is that it would be very disruptive for him to be taken away from me for two days every fortnight. He’s too young to understand what’s going on. He’d miss me.’
‘It’s not as though he doesn’t know me. I am his father. And how am I supposed to build any kind of a relationship with him unless I see him regularly?’
‘No one’s saying you shouldn’t see him regularly. I want that, too. It just seems more sensible if you were to come to Bath to see him. You could take him out—’
‘Rachel, you’re missing the point. I want him with me. I want him to have his own room, to have breakfast with me, to do things together. I don’t just want to visit him in Charles Beecham’s house—’
‘That’s what this is about, isn’t it?’ Rachel interrupted.
‘What?’
‘It’s about Charles. You’re jealous of him, whether because of me or because of Oliver, I don’t know, but—’
Leo threw back his head and laughed. ‘Christ, Rachel, you can’t get anything right, can you?’ She gazed at him.‘I’m not jealous of Charles Beecham. If I’m jealous of anyone, it’s of you. This may surprise you - though God knows it shouldn’t, given what you know of me - but I was in love with dear Charles for some months before I discovered that I was quite mistaken about his proclivities. So please don’t imagine that I wish I were in his bed. Not with you in it, at any rate.’
He had seen it before, the way the blood drained from her cheeks, leaving her looking even paler than usual. But never before had he seen this much coldness and pain in her eyes. When she spoke, her breathing was rapid, her voice little above a hard whisper. ‘You are an out-and-out bastard, Leo, did you know that?’
Leo drained the remains of his Scotch. ‘I think I recall telling you something along those lines before you married me.’
There was a silence. When Rachel spoke again, she managed to keep her tone even and controlled. ‘I suppose I should thank you for reminding me of one very good reason why I shouldn’t let Oliver come and stay with you. I don’t really want him being exposed to your various boyfriends, or your unpleasant lifestyle.’
This threw Leo momentarily. ‘That’s rubbish, Rachel, and you know it. Oliver is more important to me than anyone else in the world. Do you really think I would be so stupid? I just want to have him with me, to be a father to him, to give him a home he can come to.’
‘I don’t think I want him coming to your kind of home, Leo. And if your solicitor tries to push this one, I may just find myself having to dredge up a few unpleasant truthsabout your past to show how unfit you would be to have custody of any child.’
‘Stop it, Rachel,’ muttered Leo. He wished he’d never said anything about Charles. Why did he have this need to wound her, when it only went against his own interests? ‘You’re being utterly bloody unreasonable.’
‘Really? Frankly, I hoped we might be able to have a civilised conversation about our son and what’s best for him. You don’t seem to care about that.’
‘Christ, Rachel, I do care.’ He leant forward suddenly. ‘Don’t punish me. I just want to be with him.’
Rachel dropped her gaze from his. Why did he have this effect on her? Hating him only
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