lost and broken. My mother whips her head
towards me, "Reby, you're leaving me?" she asked.
"Yeah, Ma. I'm
leaving. I can't keep living this hopelessness. I have dreams for a better life
and if I stay here I will never see my dreams come true. I heard what plans you
have for paying down your debt to Benny. I'm sorry, but my body is not for
sale. Good-bye mother, this will be the last time you will ever see me," I
said with conviction in my voice. She crumbles to the floor. She gets on her
knees and claps her hands together as if in prayer, "Please don't leave
me, Rebel. Who will take care of me?"
"Mother, it's
time you grow-up. I'm twenty-two years old and I'm more responsible than you
are. It's time for me to leave. It's time I live my life, for me. I can't keep
living your life. You decided what path you wanted. I know you had a rough one,
but guess what? There are a lot of people out there who have it rougher than
you, but they try, and struggle to rise for a better life.. Some succeed and
some don't, but Ma, you never even tried. You never tried for me, Bailey or for
yourself. You have no one to blame, but yourself. I really hope you get it
together," I said, walking towards the stairs. I heard her gut-wrenching
sobs, but I held strong and didn't look back. I knew if my mother did not
change this would be the last time I would ever see her again.
B AILEY AND I have been living with Victor for several
months now. At first I was lost, confused, and jealous. Victor has a fiancée,
Camille Martin. She is absolutely the nicest person I've ever met. She dotes on
Bailey. This is where my jealousy comes from. I'm no longer making breakfast
for Bailey. Camille has taken over making her breakfast. I feel like a stranger
looking in on my little sister's life. I no longer work at the diner. Camille
was nice enough to get me employment in an art gallery. I love my new job, but
I miss Marissa. If I'm honest with myself, I miss Wyatt more. I only got one
night with him.
I replayed a
conversation I had with Victor a few days ago. "Life isn't about finding
yourself, Rebel. It's about discovering who God created you to be. Don't let
your upbringing define you. None of that was on you, but your mother. Don't
regret taking chances, because in the end, we only regret chances we didn't
take, relationships we are afraid to have, and decisions we waited too long to
make. If you have a chance on something beautiful, grab it and hold on for as long
as you can," Victor said.
"When did you
become a sage, Victor?" I playfully asked.
"Since I found
the strength to start over," he quietly said. He's absolutely right. I
need to let go and take a giant leap of faith. Hopefully, Wyatt is still free
to take that leap with me.
It was time for me
to start my life. It had been months since I'd spoken or seen Marissa. I've
been busy trying to get my bearings with work and trying to find myself, but I
needed to make time for her. I needed to have some fun.
I got a sweet
apartment above Victor's garage. It's not big by any standards, but it's mine.
The best thing about it is its rent free. Camille hooked it up for me with furniture.
I have a small living room, kitchenette, bedroom and a bathroom. It has the
basic furniture, sofa, TV, bed, and dresser. I now have a cell phone, courtesy
of Victor, who put me on his plan. I send Marissa a text asking to meet up
tonight at our favorite club.
The club is packed
tonight. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. All I could think about is
seeing Wyatt. I hoped to God, he's here and free. Marissa heads to the bar for
a rum and coke. I'm not a drinker, my personal preference, so I settle for a
club soda. I scan the club and my hopes die. Wyatt is not here. I was so stupid
walking away from him that first night. Marissa and I take our drinks and hit
the dance floor. We're dancing to some really good house music. We're both lost
in the 4/4 beat of the music. I'm drenched in sweat, and feeling
towards me, "Reby, you're leaving me?" she asked.
"Yeah, Ma. I'm
leaving. I can't keep living this hopelessness. I have dreams for a better life
and if I stay here I will never see my dreams come true. I heard what plans you
have for paying down your debt to Benny. I'm sorry, but my body is not for
sale. Good-bye mother, this will be the last time you will ever see me," I
said with conviction in my voice. She crumbles to the floor. She gets on her
knees and claps her hands together as if in prayer, "Please don't leave
me, Rebel. Who will take care of me?"
"Mother, it's
time you grow-up. I'm twenty-two years old and I'm more responsible than you
are. It's time for me to leave. It's time I live my life, for me. I can't keep
living your life. You decided what path you wanted. I know you had a rough one,
but guess what? There are a lot of people out there who have it rougher than
you, but they try, and struggle to rise for a better life.. Some succeed and
some don't, but Ma, you never even tried. You never tried for me, Bailey or for
yourself. You have no one to blame, but yourself. I really hope you get it
together," I said, walking towards the stairs. I heard her gut-wrenching
sobs, but I held strong and didn't look back. I knew if my mother did not
change this would be the last time I would ever see her again.
B AILEY AND I have been living with Victor for several
months now. At first I was lost, confused, and jealous. Victor has a fiancée,
Camille Martin. She is absolutely the nicest person I've ever met. She dotes on
Bailey. This is where my jealousy comes from. I'm no longer making breakfast
for Bailey. Camille has taken over making her breakfast. I feel like a stranger
looking in on my little sister's life. I no longer work at the diner. Camille
was nice enough to get me employment in an art gallery. I love my new job, but
I miss Marissa. If I'm honest with myself, I miss Wyatt more. I only got one
night with him.
I replayed a
conversation I had with Victor a few days ago. "Life isn't about finding
yourself, Rebel. It's about discovering who God created you to be. Don't let
your upbringing define you. None of that was on you, but your mother. Don't
regret taking chances, because in the end, we only regret chances we didn't
take, relationships we are afraid to have, and decisions we waited too long to
make. If you have a chance on something beautiful, grab it and hold on for as long
as you can," Victor said.
"When did you
become a sage, Victor?" I playfully asked.
"Since I found
the strength to start over," he quietly said. He's absolutely right. I
need to let go and take a giant leap of faith. Hopefully, Wyatt is still free
to take that leap with me.
It was time for me
to start my life. It had been months since I'd spoken or seen Marissa. I've
been busy trying to get my bearings with work and trying to find myself, but I
needed to make time for her. I needed to have some fun.
I got a sweet
apartment above Victor's garage. It's not big by any standards, but it's mine.
The best thing about it is its rent free. Camille hooked it up for me with furniture.
I have a small living room, kitchenette, bedroom and a bathroom. It has the
basic furniture, sofa, TV, bed, and dresser. I now have a cell phone, courtesy
of Victor, who put me on his plan. I send Marissa a text asking to meet up
tonight at our favorite club.
The club is packed
tonight. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. All I could think about is
seeing Wyatt. I hoped to God, he's here and free. Marissa heads to the bar for
a rum and coke. I'm not a drinker, my personal preference, so I settle for a
club soda. I scan the club and my hopes die. Wyatt is not here. I was so stupid
walking away from him that first night. Marissa and I take our drinks and hit
the dance floor. We're dancing to some really good house music. We're both lost
in the 4/4 beat of the music. I'm drenched in sweat, and feeling
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