over on the woman side, but I'd only
racked up four men.
I went to Starbucks, since talking to men on
the subway hadn't worked out so far, and bought myself a caramel
apple concoction I'd always wondered about. It was delicious, and I
sat sipping, lulled into a daze by the flavors, until I noticed a
man waiting for his drink and looking at me. He didn't seem to be
seeing me, though.
I drew up my courage and said, "Hi
there."
He blinked and his eyes focused on me. "Hi.
Sorry, was I staring?"
"I think you were looking through me."
He grimaced. "Probably. Sorry. Hey, can I ask
you something?"
I nodded, and he said, "If you were looking
to buy a pair of shoes online, would you prefer a site called
'Shoes Galore' or 'Exclusive Shoes'?"
I rested my elbows on the table and looked up
at him. "Depends. Do I want something cheap and cute or something
special?"
"Let's say something special."
"Then the second one. For sure. The first one
sounds like a discount place. 'Exclusive Shoes' makes me picture a
store with mostly empty floor space and a few gorgeous things on
display."
He nodded slowly. "It doesn't feel like maybe
they won't have what you want?"
"Maybe a little. But if they do have
it, I feel like it would be perfect."
The Starbucks worker handed over the man's
drink, and he thanked her then turned back to me. "And thank you . My business partner's been pushing for the first one,
but I was leaning toward the second myself but didn't quite know
why. I like your reasoning. My partner will too, and we'll make the
site look classy, like those stores you were talking about."
I smiled. "Sounds like a plan."
He set down his drink then pulled a business
card from his wallet, wrote on the back, and handed it to me. "We
expect to be running within the month. Email me at the address on
the back and I'll give you whatever pair of shoes you want."
"Thanks, but I didn't really do
anything."
He laughed. "You gave my newest business its
direction. Counts as 'something' to me. Have a good evening,
gorgeous."
And he was gone before I could do anything
but blush.
I finished my drink slowly, thinking. Back in
high school I'd been more sociable than Alex but over the years I'd
adapted to his homebody ways. Tonight had shown me I still liked
chatting with people, and I was good at it too.
Before I could change my mind, I pulled out
my phone and fired off an email to the bellydance class instructor
asking if I could join in on Friday. I'd loved those women's energy
and I wanted some for myself.
Chapter Eight
Back at work the next day, I realized my life
was splitting into two parts. Outside work, I was doing nearly
everything the opposite of how I usually did it. Sometimes it felt
strange, and I kept being slapped by how much I missed Alex, but
still I was enjoying learning about myself and what I liked and
wanted. If asked I'd have said I already knew all my preferences,
but I was constantly surprised by how many of 'my' preferences were
actually Alex's.
At work, though, my routines enveloped me
like a too-heavy blanket, both cozy and suffocating at once. But I
couldn't change everything at the office. The structures I'd set up
over the years worked, and ruffling them up just for the sake of it
made no sense.
I carried on with my same old tasks, watching
as I went to see if there were any little details that I could
change, until Gary arrived at my conference room. "Doing all right
in here?"
I looked up and nodded. "It's a little small
but it's fine."
"You're not that big yourself so I guess
you're in proportion to it."
He laughed. I hated jokes about my size but
forced a smile because he was my boss. The smile faded, though,
when he added, "I really like that jacket. Am I allowed to say it's
sexy?"
His tone said he wasn't really asking, and I
knew I wasn't supposed to answer. I was supposed to simper and say
thank you. But an unexpected anger zipped through me and I
answered. "Not really. And if you think it's too sexy
racked up four men.
I went to Starbucks, since talking to men on
the subway hadn't worked out so far, and bought myself a caramel
apple concoction I'd always wondered about. It was delicious, and I
sat sipping, lulled into a daze by the flavors, until I noticed a
man waiting for his drink and looking at me. He didn't seem to be
seeing me, though.
I drew up my courage and said, "Hi
there."
He blinked and his eyes focused on me. "Hi.
Sorry, was I staring?"
"I think you were looking through me."
He grimaced. "Probably. Sorry. Hey, can I ask
you something?"
I nodded, and he said, "If you were looking
to buy a pair of shoes online, would you prefer a site called
'Shoes Galore' or 'Exclusive Shoes'?"
I rested my elbows on the table and looked up
at him. "Depends. Do I want something cheap and cute or something
special?"
"Let's say something special."
"Then the second one. For sure. The first one
sounds like a discount place. 'Exclusive Shoes' makes me picture a
store with mostly empty floor space and a few gorgeous things on
display."
He nodded slowly. "It doesn't feel like maybe
they won't have what you want?"
"Maybe a little. But if they do have
it, I feel like it would be perfect."
The Starbucks worker handed over the man's
drink, and he thanked her then turned back to me. "And thank you . My business partner's been pushing for the first one,
but I was leaning toward the second myself but didn't quite know
why. I like your reasoning. My partner will too, and we'll make the
site look classy, like those stores you were talking about."
I smiled. "Sounds like a plan."
He set down his drink then pulled a business
card from his wallet, wrote on the back, and handed it to me. "We
expect to be running within the month. Email me at the address on
the back and I'll give you whatever pair of shoes you want."
"Thanks, but I didn't really do
anything."
He laughed. "You gave my newest business its
direction. Counts as 'something' to me. Have a good evening,
gorgeous."
And he was gone before I could do anything
but blush.
I finished my drink slowly, thinking. Back in
high school I'd been more sociable than Alex but over the years I'd
adapted to his homebody ways. Tonight had shown me I still liked
chatting with people, and I was good at it too.
Before I could change my mind, I pulled out
my phone and fired off an email to the bellydance class instructor
asking if I could join in on Friday. I'd loved those women's energy
and I wanted some for myself.
Chapter Eight
Back at work the next day, I realized my life
was splitting into two parts. Outside work, I was doing nearly
everything the opposite of how I usually did it. Sometimes it felt
strange, and I kept being slapped by how much I missed Alex, but
still I was enjoying learning about myself and what I liked and
wanted. If asked I'd have said I already knew all my preferences,
but I was constantly surprised by how many of 'my' preferences were
actually Alex's.
At work, though, my routines enveloped me
like a too-heavy blanket, both cozy and suffocating at once. But I
couldn't change everything at the office. The structures I'd set up
over the years worked, and ruffling them up just for the sake of it
made no sense.
I carried on with my same old tasks, watching
as I went to see if there were any little details that I could
change, until Gary arrived at my conference room. "Doing all right
in here?"
I looked up and nodded. "It's a little small
but it's fine."
"You're not that big yourself so I guess
you're in proportion to it."
He laughed. I hated jokes about my size but
forced a smile because he was my boss. The smile faded, though,
when he added, "I really like that jacket. Am I allowed to say it's
sexy?"
His tone said he wasn't really asking, and I
knew I wasn't supposed to answer. I was supposed to simper and say
thank you. But an unexpected anger zipped through me and I
answered. "Not really. And if you think it's too sexy
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