Valentine’s Day when she opened a shipment of Valentine’s Day cards. “We’re selling these now?” she’d asked Sadie.
Sadie nodded, picking up one of the cards. “Just a few. I ordered them a bit late, but Joanna has made some special chocolates for the holiday too. Nothing too fancy.” She looked at Abigail before setting the card back in the box. “I can put these out,” she said, reaching for the box.
Abigail had caught the flash of pity in her sister’s eyes. Which was ridiculous. It had been months since she and Joel broke up. Asa had left her alone, too, except for occasionally nodding and smiling at her in church. That cemented in her mind that his earlier attention had been because he was considerate. There was no deeper meaning than that.
“I can set them out,” she said, wishing she felt as cheerful as she sounded. Then she smiled. And she kept that smile on her face as she rang up the first customer who eagerly chose a card along with some candy for his sweetheart.
Now with March drawing closer, Abigail spent more time in her room weaving and less time in the store. Business had trailed off a bit, and she used the time to work. It was easier not to think about how alone she felt when she was working.
On Saturday afternoon she sat on the edge of her bed, unable to bring herself to work on another rug. Instead she stared at the wooden loom frame across the room. She’d had it for several months, but she couldn’t summon the interest in trying it out. She pulled her gaze away, got up from the bed, and headed downstairs to the kitchen. She was bored and lonely—and that usually propelled her to find something to eat.
She glanced out the kitchen window. Snow was falling in heavy layers on the ground, much like it had most of the winter, with only a couple of thaws that never completely melted all the snow. Sadie and Aden were manning the store. Abigail glanced at the pantry, then at her body. She hadn’t gained any more weight, but she hadn’t lost any either. Eating a snack when she’d had lunch a couple of hours ago was a bad idea.
Forcing herself not to look at the pantry, she sat down at the table and ran her finger over the polished wood. Loneliness once again crept over her. She was distancing herself from her sisters, even from her friends. But that wasn’t what caused this deep ache in her heart. She missed her parents. She wished Mamm was here. That she could talk to her about the emptiness she couldn’t escape.
Then again, she knew what Mamm would say. There’s a lesson to be learned from this, Abigail. And once you’ve learned it, you will be stronger than before.
What was there to learn from having her heart smashed into pieces? From seeing the man she had loved in love with someone else? Seeing her sisters happy and living life and feeling guilty for resenting their happiness? Most of all, feeling paralyzed to do anything about it?
Abigail shot up from the chair and opened the pantry door, giving in to the craving with mindless fervor. She pushed aside the flour and sugar containers and reached all the way back for her hidden stash. When she found the pile of candy bars, she didn’t even bother to go back to the table—she grabbed the first one and ripped it open. Chocolate and sugar melted in her mouth, temporarily soothing her hurt and frustration. That’s how the cycle had been lately—momentary relief followed by guilt and self-loathing. Knowing that didn’t keep her from cramming the rest of the candy in her mouth as she shut the pantry door—at the same time the back door opened.
A frigid blast of air slammed into her. She flinched, her mouth full of chocolate. She stilled mid-chew when she saw Asa standing in the doorway to the mudroom.
The last thing Asa expected to see when he walked into the Schrocks’ house was Abigail gaping at him with wide eyes, a chocolate bar poking out of her mouth—and looking adorable. He stifled a sigh at how fast his resolve
Sadie nodded, picking up one of the cards. “Just a few. I ordered them a bit late, but Joanna has made some special chocolates for the holiday too. Nothing too fancy.” She looked at Abigail before setting the card back in the box. “I can put these out,” she said, reaching for the box.
Abigail had caught the flash of pity in her sister’s eyes. Which was ridiculous. It had been months since she and Joel broke up. Asa had left her alone, too, except for occasionally nodding and smiling at her in church. That cemented in her mind that his earlier attention had been because he was considerate. There was no deeper meaning than that.
“I can set them out,” she said, wishing she felt as cheerful as she sounded. Then she smiled. And she kept that smile on her face as she rang up the first customer who eagerly chose a card along with some candy for his sweetheart.
Now with March drawing closer, Abigail spent more time in her room weaving and less time in the store. Business had trailed off a bit, and she used the time to work. It was easier not to think about how alone she felt when she was working.
On Saturday afternoon she sat on the edge of her bed, unable to bring herself to work on another rug. Instead she stared at the wooden loom frame across the room. She’d had it for several months, but she couldn’t summon the interest in trying it out. She pulled her gaze away, got up from the bed, and headed downstairs to the kitchen. She was bored and lonely—and that usually propelled her to find something to eat.
She glanced out the kitchen window. Snow was falling in heavy layers on the ground, much like it had most of the winter, with only a couple of thaws that never completely melted all the snow. Sadie and Aden were manning the store. Abigail glanced at the pantry, then at her body. She hadn’t gained any more weight, but she hadn’t lost any either. Eating a snack when she’d had lunch a couple of hours ago was a bad idea.
Forcing herself not to look at the pantry, she sat down at the table and ran her finger over the polished wood. Loneliness once again crept over her. She was distancing herself from her sisters, even from her friends. But that wasn’t what caused this deep ache in her heart. She missed her parents. She wished Mamm was here. That she could talk to her about the emptiness she couldn’t escape.
Then again, she knew what Mamm would say. There’s a lesson to be learned from this, Abigail. And once you’ve learned it, you will be stronger than before.
What was there to learn from having her heart smashed into pieces? From seeing the man she had loved in love with someone else? Seeing her sisters happy and living life and feeling guilty for resenting their happiness? Most of all, feeling paralyzed to do anything about it?
Abigail shot up from the chair and opened the pantry door, giving in to the craving with mindless fervor. She pushed aside the flour and sugar containers and reached all the way back for her hidden stash. When she found the pile of candy bars, she didn’t even bother to go back to the table—she grabbed the first one and ripped it open. Chocolate and sugar melted in her mouth, temporarily soothing her hurt and frustration. That’s how the cycle had been lately—momentary relief followed by guilt and self-loathing. Knowing that didn’t keep her from cramming the rest of the candy in her mouth as she shut the pantry door—at the same time the back door opened.
A frigid blast of air slammed into her. She flinched, her mouth full of chocolate. She stilled mid-chew when she saw Asa standing in the doorway to the mudroom.
The last thing Asa expected to see when he walked into the Schrocks’ house was Abigail gaping at him with wide eyes, a chocolate bar poking out of her mouth—and looking adorable. He stifled a sigh at how fast his resolve
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