Man From Mundania by Piers Anthony

She con-
    sidered herself lucky that he had cooperated to this extent.
     
    She turned again to Grey. "If you will help me, I will
    show you Xanth," she said.
     
    Grey evidently remained bemused by Pewter's endorse-
    ment of her origin. He might not believe, yet, but at least
    he was having more trouble disbelieving. That was prog-
    ress of a sort. "I'll, uh, help you if I can."
     
    "You will have to guide me to No Name Key."
     
    "To what?"
     
    A KEY SOUTH OF FLORIDA, the screen said helpfully.
     
    "But that's far away from here! How—"
     
    HITCHHIKE.
     
    "But my classes! I can't skip—"
     
    CHOOSE: IVY OR FRESHMAN ENGLISH.
     
    Grey was taken aback. "Well, if you put it that way—"
     
    YOU HAVE VIRTUALLY NO APTITUDE FOR SCHOLARSHIP.
     
    Grey became suspicious. "You act as if you want me
    logo!"
     
    YES. THEN MY ASSIGNMENT WILL BE COMPLETED.
     
    Ivy, too, was suspicious. "What is your assignment?"
     
    TO GET GREY MURPHY INTO XANTH.
     
    Grey shook his head. "I don't believe this!"
     
    YOUR BELIEF IS IRRELEVANT. TURN ME OFF WHEN YOU
    DEPART.
     
    "This is absolutely crazy!" Grey exclaimed. "My com-
    puter wants me to go into a delusion!''
     
    "You understand," Ivy reminded him, "we won't be
    able to talk intelligibly to each other until we get to Xanth.
    I will have to keep my mouth shut in Mundania."
     
    "But we can't go, just like that! My father—"
     
    "Look at it this way," Ivy said. "If we don't find Xanth,
    you can come back here in a few days, and Pewter will
    have to help you pass all your classes, so your father
    doesn't find out and turn him off forever. But if we do find
    Xanth—"
     
    Grey got his wits about him. "Let's say, for the sake of
    nonsensical argument, that we find it and you go there—
    where does that leave me? Alone again, and far from
    home, and in trouble when I get home!"
     
    "You're welcome to come into Xanth with me," Ivy
    said. "I thought that was understood. But I assumed you
    wouldn't want to."
     
    "I, uh, if you go there, I want to go there too. Even if
    it is crazy."
     
    Ivy smiled. "You might like it—even if it is crazy."
     
    Grey shrugged, defeated. "When do we start?"
     
    "Now," Ivy said, delighted.
     
    "Now? But—"
     
    NOW, the screen said.
     
    Grey tried to marshal another protest, but Ivy smiled at
    him, and he melted. She had seen Nada stifle Dolph sim-
     
     
     
     
    42          Man from Mundania
     
    ilarly; it was nice to know that such magic worked, even
    in Mundania.
     
    "Now," Grey agreed weakly.
     
    They delayed only long enough to pack some clothes
    and food, because neither grew on trees in drear Mun-
    dania. Then they set off.
     
    Hitchhiking turned out to be a special kind of magic: a
    person put out one thumb, and it caused the moving ob-
    jects called cars to stop. Some of them, anyway. Cars
    turned out to be hollow inside, with comfortable seats and
    belts to hold the people down in case they bounced out.
    Each one had at least one person riding in it, and seemed
    to go more or less where that person wanted. But there
    were obstacles: glowing lights hung above the car path and
    flashed bright red the moment any car approached. Then

the driver muttered something under his breath that
    sounded villainous even in gibberish and fumed for half a
    minute before the light changed its mind and flashed green.
    The driver would start up, his car's round feet squealing—
    only to be similarly caught by the next flashing red light.
    Ivy wished she could understand the purpose of this magic,
    but suspected it would not make much sense even if she
    had been able to comprehend the dialect.
     
    Several car rides later, night was falling, as it did in
    Mundania much the way it did in Xanth. Apparently the
    sun feared darkness just as much here, for it was nowhere
    to be seen as the night closed. They stopped hitchhiking
    and ate some beans from Grey's can, then looked for a
    place to spend the night.
     
    Grey was somewhat confused about