A Love So Deadly by Lili Valente

beautiful,” he says, smiling when our eyes meet in the mirror.
    He looks so normal, so healthy and fine and like the old Gorgeous Gabe with trouble in his eyes. It’s so hard to believe that he’s dying, that in a few weeks—or months, if we’re lucky—he won’t be here anymore.
    “I thought you were going to let me bring you breakfast in bed.” I set the tray on the back of the toilet before moving into his open arms, pushing the heavy thoughts away. I can’t think about it, I’m still too emotionally raw from everything that happened last night.
    Last night, when we killed a man.
    We killed a man, and Gabe is dying.
    I feel like a character from one of those old cartoons, the ones where a one-ton anvil falls on someone’s head, squashing them into the pavement. But I’m not squashed, I’m still walking around, making breakfast, hugging Gabe, going through the motions, numb and sad and scared, but still here, still ticking.
    Tick tock, tick tock , like a bomb waiting to go off and wreck everything I touch, but I haven’t yet. Maybe I never will…but I think it’s too soon to tell.
    “I realized I should head home first,” Gabe says. “I’ll go back to Darby Hill, tell my parents what’s going on, pack a bag, and come right back.”
    “You could just call them,” I say, arms tightening around his waist as I press my face to the soft fabric of his white undershirt and inhale his Gabe smell. “And we could buy you new things in Charleston. Sherry’s coming in a couple hours to watch the kids, and I don’t want you to leave.”
    Gabe kisses the top of my head. “I don’t want to leave, but I have medicine there, too. Pain pills and meds that helps keep the symptoms under control.”
    Medicine. Symptoms. This is real. It is real, and it isn’t going away.
    I pull back with a sigh, nodding. “All right. But let’s eat breakfast first, and then I can get dressed and drive you. I don’t want you to have an accident.”
    “I won’t,” he says. “I’m feeling a lot better. The pain I’ve had the past few days is gone so…maybe I’m not going downhill as fast as I thought.”
    I take a breath. “Well, that’s good.” It is good. It means more time, and I’ll take as much of that as I can get.
    And maybe, just maybe, with more time, I can find a way to convince him to give the surgery a shot, no matter how set in stone he seemed on the subject last night. I understand why he made the decision he did, but I’m also greedy. I don’t want Gabe for a few months; I want Gabe forever, for the rest of my life. I want to grow up with him, grow old with him, and have those babies I thought I’d be too tired to raise with the man I love.
    We didn’t use a condom last night. I didn’t realize it until this morning, but I wasn’t freaked out when I did. A part of me actually hopes I’m pregnant. A baby would be something else for Gabe to live for, and give me a piece of him to keep loving if the worst actually comes to pass.
    “I’ll be back before you know it.” Gabe leans down, capturing my lips in a kiss that makes me tingle all over despite the dark thoughts tromping through my head. “And then we’ll head into Charleston, get tattoos, get money, and treat the kids to a steak dinner at Roxie’s on the Square when we get back.”
    “Roxie’s?” I shake my head. “No way. That will cost a million dollars.”
    “Money is just money,” he says. “I want to spend it.”
    “But don’t they have a dress code? We can’t take the kids there in stained tee shirts and jeans.”
    “We’ll buy them khakis and polos in town today, and a new dress for Emmie,” he says, grinning. “I want to see the Cooneys dressed up. I have a feeling y’all are going to clean up nice.” He reaches down, squeezing my ass as he leans in to whisper his next words against my neck. “Especially this Cooney. I want to see you in something black and slinky with no shoulders.”
    My eyes slide closed as I