least thatâs what he told his brother, Herbert, so many times as Herbert was going through his divorce. âI donât remember meeting this Robbie character before,â he said then. He hoped he sounded sincere, even nonchalant. Chandra had often accused him of looking through people and not at them, of being too self-centered to notice the obvious. He wasnât sure why the little surge of panic was rising in his chest, but it was. If Felis catus had been around, he would understand why his nose was suddenly vibrating. If he didnât hyperventilate, he would surely sneeze. In control, in control, in control. âCan you believe I thought you were having an affair?â he finally said it, his voice now shrill. He hated the tone of it! He sounded like Herbert, moaning and bemoaning, all the way through the divorce lawyers, the trial, the alimony. Chandra hadnât moved, was still there in the doorway, a creature carved of stone . Ivory sandaled, There is none like thee among the dancers. Frederick eased himself slowly out of bed and flicked on the bedroom light. He looked into her eyes, into the place where all humanity as well as the animal kingdom lived. He looked there for an answer since none was coming out of her mouth. Dark-eyed , O woman of my dreams. He saw her pupils growing smaller with the light, shrinking, twenty years disappearing, all those Sunday mornings in bed evaporating. He saw himself growing old alone, a crusty, ancient man, bitter to the end, living on the outskirts of humanity , living in a gutter somewhere, without even a laptop to keep him company.
Four
Somethingâs wrong between us that your laughter cannot hide
And youâre afraid to let your eyes meet mine
And lately when I love you I know youâre not satisfied
Woman, Woman, have you got cheating on your mind?
âGary Puckett & the Union Gap
It happened that fast, at least to Frederick, but Chandra claimed that it had been a long, slow process.
âYou are so wrapped up in yourself, Freddy, and in that damn computer, that you donât even notice our lives unfolding before you,â sheâd said. âI have to introduce you to people over and over again because you canât even take the time to remember them.â And then, true to her nature, she would speak no more on the subject. She had spent the night in their spare bedroom and he, unable to fathom the unnecessary acreage of their king-size bed, had camped on the small settee in his office, dozing off just before daylight.
When he woke at seven oâclock, he felt a pang of regret that Walter Muller had beat him out of bed on that day. He entertained for a few seconds the notion that he should record this discrepancy on his computer calendar, then decided against it. He personally couldnât help it if his wife had caused his steadfast schedule to wobble a bit.
At eight oâclock heâd gone to work on the payroll taxes as scheduled. No need for his professional life to fall apart just because his personal one was experiencing a rumble. And besides, he still didnât know the nature of the beast. Perhaps this Robbie fellow was no more than a good, strong body from which to erect a picket sign, instead of something more Freudian. Although Chandra wouldnât admit it, Frederick knew that she perceived some men as nothing more than human billboard signs. He would wait until she let him peek into her hand, study her trump cards. He had no doubt that The Girls would stay with him on this. He was delighted to discover that he had, after all, his own share of the Stone familyâs sangfroid. He was reminded of Christmas dinners in Grandmother Stoneâs immense and unfriendly parlor as the Stone aunts sat on one side of the room, the Stone uncles on the other, all unsmiling, rigid in their chairs, their cheekbones wonderfully chiseled. âThey look like the pieces of some great, awful chess set,â his mother had
Four
Somethingâs wrong between us that your laughter cannot hide
And youâre afraid to let your eyes meet mine
And lately when I love you I know youâre not satisfied
Woman, Woman, have you got cheating on your mind?
âGary Puckett & the Union Gap
It happened that fast, at least to Frederick, but Chandra claimed that it had been a long, slow process.
âYou are so wrapped up in yourself, Freddy, and in that damn computer, that you donât even notice our lives unfolding before you,â sheâd said. âI have to introduce you to people over and over again because you canât even take the time to remember them.â And then, true to her nature, she would speak no more on the subject. She had spent the night in their spare bedroom and he, unable to fathom the unnecessary acreage of their king-size bed, had camped on the small settee in his office, dozing off just before daylight.
When he woke at seven oâclock, he felt a pang of regret that Walter Muller had beat him out of bed on that day. He entertained for a few seconds the notion that he should record this discrepancy on his computer calendar, then decided against it. He personally couldnât help it if his wife had caused his steadfast schedule to wobble a bit.
At eight oâclock heâd gone to work on the payroll taxes as scheduled. No need for his professional life to fall apart just because his personal one was experiencing a rumble. And besides, he still didnât know the nature of the beast. Perhaps this Robbie fellow was no more than a good, strong body from which to erect a picket sign, instead of something more Freudian. Although Chandra wouldnât admit it, Frederick knew that she perceived some men as nothing more than human billboard signs. He would wait until she let him peek into her hand, study her trump cards. He had no doubt that The Girls would stay with him on this. He was delighted to discover that he had, after all, his own share of the Stone familyâs sangfroid. He was reminded of Christmas dinners in Grandmother Stoneâs immense and unfriendly parlor as the Stone aunts sat on one side of the room, the Stone uncles on the other, all unsmiling, rigid in their chairs, their cheekbones wonderfully chiseled. âThey look like the pieces of some great, awful chess set,â his mother had
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