Me Being Me Is Exactly as Insane as You Being You by Todd Hasak-Lowy

meet, everyone would instantly think you’re gay, so forget that.
    5.  There’s nothing wrong with being gay, but there is at the same time, even though Darren’s pretty sure he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with it himself.
    6.  There’s no way in the world he’ll survive driving back and forth to Ann Arbor with his dad this weekend.
    7.  It’s other people who make it a problem, because they think there’s something really wrong with it, to the point that they sort of make it unfortunate even if you yourself think it’s okay.
    8.  His dad is actually gay.

8 Best Things Darren Ever Built out of Legos, in Chronological Order
    1.  THE TOWER
    Built during winter break in first grade. Two and a half feet tall, eleven inches wide at the base. Gradually narrowed toward the top, sort of like the Empire State Building. Red on top of yellow on top of black on top of green on top of blue on top of white. No mixing of colors. On the wall near the bottom of the stairs at the house is a framed picture of six-year-old Darren sitting cross-legged next to it and smiling with his teeth exposed.
    2.  THE RAT-DOG
    Built Memorial Day in first grade. Was supposed to be either a dog or a bear but wound up looking like what Nate dubbed the Rat-Dog. In the right light was actually pretty scary. Was kept on display in the living room for almost a year until Darren needed the pieces for the pyramid.
    3.  THE PYRAMID
    Built, with some help from Bugs, over the course of the last week of summer vacation before second grade. Four-sided pyramid. Eighteen inches tall, eighteen inches wide. Each layer is exactly one row narrower on all sides than the layer below it. Built from the top down. No color was allowed to touch itself, which is harder than it sounds. His mom called it the Rainbow Pyramid, but no one else did.
    4.  THE MILLENNIUM FALCON
    Built on the first three days of summer vacation between second and third grade. All white. Even Darren’s mom recognized what it was, though it was a lot more circular than the real Millennium Falcon . Nate took a picture of it and sent it to the website of this guy who posts pictures of things people have built from Star Wars , but it never got posted, probably because the guy stopped updating the site around then.
    5.  EXCALIBUR
    Built near the end of fourth grade. White and red blade. Black and yellow handle. Wound up having to make the blade shorter than he wanted to, because it kept breaking when he swung it. Nate smashed it over Darren’s shoulder after Darren accidentally stabbed Nate in the stomach with it harder than he meant to.
    6.  MOUNTAIN RIVER
    Built Thanksgiving weekend of fifth grade. Two small mountain ranges, two peaks on one side, three on the other, with a thin river winding between them. Everything on a 2' x 2' green platform. River blue, mountains black. Two were snow-capped. Some green bushes near the river, plus a yellow animal that was either a small bear or a large beaver. His parents’ all-time favorite.
    7.  GUITAR FOR NATE
    Built Labor Day right before sixth grade. The day before Darren and his mom went with Nate to shop for actual guitars. Nate wanted a red Gibson, but it was about three times as much as he could afford. He bought a tan Ibañez instead. So Darren made him a Gibson out of Legos. Red body, black pick guard, some white dials, and a black neck. The neck had to be shorter than Darren wanted it to be, because it kept breaking. Nate called it “totally sick” and kept it in his room until he went off to school. It’s actually still in his room; he just didn’t take it with him to college, obviously.
    8.  THE CUBE
    Built in the spring of ninth grade, the night after his parents told him they were getting separated. Just a small white cube with a single black piece near one of the corners. Darren sort of knew it would be the last thing he ever built out of Legos,