A Place Beyond Courage by Elizabeth Chadwick Page A

make the last tugs and tweaks to her wedding gown before she went to chapel. The fabric was a soft blue wool, embroidered at the hem with a pattern of circles worked in silver thread. Her hair, unbound as a symbol of her virginity, had been combed and smoothed until it shone like polished pinewood. A chaplet of fresh white dog roses and columbine crowned her brow and her cloak was pinned with a beautiful brooch of delicate blue enamel work. She had been sick twice already that morning and her mother had dosed her with a ginger tisane to settle her stomach before pinching her cheeks hard to give them some colour. ‘You can’t go to your marriage with a face like a new cheese,’ she had said, fussing around Aline like a housewife about to take a heifer to market.
    John’s position as the King’s marshal meant that the marriage was being celebrated at court. Aline had never been to Winchester and had been overwhelmed at the size of the town and the constant hurry and bustle, so different from her own quiet existence at Clyffe. Winchester was the seat of England’s treasury and John had told her the town was second only in size and importance to London. Rather than filling her with wonder, the detail had made her feel small and inadequate. Her only experience of such large gatherings had been occasional visits to Salisbury Fair and the cathedral, which hardly compared to Winchester with the court in residence. Aline felt like a stranger in a foreign land peopled by assured, sophisticated inhabitants, who could see straight through her, knew she was not one of them and scorned her for it. She was trying her best not to disgrace herself or her future husband, but knew her best was not good enough.
    ‘You look beautiful,’ said Sybire of Salisbury, who had stopped by to wish Aline well.
    Aline swallowed and thanked her in a tight, small voice.
    Sybire laid a compassionate hand on Aline’s sleeve. ‘Don’t worry,’ she said with a maternal smile. ‘John knows what to do; he’s been at court since he was a squire. Let him guide you and everything will be well. It’s daunting, I know, but it will pass.’
    Aline whispered her thanks, grateful for the reassurance. Behind Sybire, she saw two women exchange glances and smirk at each other as if Lady Salisbury had said something amusing or ironic. Their looks, their barely concealed titters, knotted her stomach. She wondered what it was they knew that she didn’t. Women had been offering her advice all morning, and much of what they said had increased her fear. To be certain of conceiving a son on her wedding night, she should eat plenty of parsnips and sleep on the right-hand side of the bed. But it wasn’t parsnip season and what would she do if the right-hand side was the one preferred by John? Ask him to move? Holy Mary, she was not sure she dared ask him anything!
    Her mother had had a quiet word with her concerning the physical obligations of a wife and Aline was not entirely naive. She had seen animals mating, and even people once, although her glimpse of the latter had been fleeting and the couple fully clothed with most of their congress hidden. She was anxious about that aspect of marriage, but more worried about pleasing John and doing the right thing. Her mind was a vast empty space when it came to thinking about things to say to her new husband. What kind of conversations were they going to have? She needed someone to tell her what to do, to murmur instructions at each stage of the game, but instead she was being launched, oarless, on to a heaving ocean and expected to stay afloat. The thought that she would soon be mistress of her own household filled her with dread. She knew she was going to make some terrible mistakes.
    An usher arrived to escort the bridal party to the cathedral. Aline forced down a retch and, with her mother and the other women in train, followed him from the palace. She concentrated on putting one foot before the other, using the feeling