him he’s perfect as he is. I want to tell him how much I love him and that he doesn’t have to make any hard decisions about his career right now. But, whoever stole my bag also took my purse and phone.”
Her mom shifted a turquoise taffeta dress over her arm. “So, I guess you’re forfeiting the dance tomorrow?”
Maggie shrugged and gathered the dress from her mom. She considered dropping it in the lost-and-found pile, but instead hung the gown in her locker. Confronting her mom had been easier than all the years she’d spent doing what she hadn’t particularly loved and holding back. But she still had college debt, and that responsibility tugged her to finish the competition. “This will be my last competition.”
In her mind, Garrett’s words surfaced. “Tonight, I’m going to change.”
She clutched her mom’s arm. “I have to stop Garrett from committing to firefighting—something he really doesn’t want to do—and reliving something that haunts him.”
Her mom threaded her arm under Maggie’s. “Be honest and tell him how you feel.”
“I will. I’m willing to take time to figure things out. He doesn’t have to force a career because he believes he has no other options.”
Her mom dug through her purse and handed Maggie the keys to her new sports car. “Go get him. I’ll catch a ride home…”
# # # #
Up over the fairground footbridge, Garrett strolled between the fair animals bedded down for the night. Wiring overhead strung a finite series of forty watt bulbs and turned the straw, where the farm animal menagerie bedded down, a sickly yellow. Wheelbarrows piled high with waste matched the way he felt inside.
If something didn’t change, if he didn’t face his fear of disappointing another, like he’d let down Maggie, he might as well replace his last name with failure . He needed to take time to explore his options, even if that meant breaking his promise to his father.
Breaking a promise— a deathbed promise …
He choked on his tight throat and crushing chest, staggering toward the fun zone that blurred to a dizzying array of white light in his colorless existence. If he didn’t capture the illusive change, then he’d never become that fun-loving guy.
A ewe bleated.
Near her head, Garrett spotted a lifeless lamb, half the size of the other that rooted at the ewe’s teat, tail wagging like a silent celebration of life. Instead of focusing on the healthy lamb however, the ewe drew her tired tongue in long pulls over the weakling.
It reminded him of everyone encouraging him to find his happiness.
A virtual lost cause.
The ewe gave the lamb a wasted nudge.
If Garrett didn’t take drastic measures, he might as well be that poor animal coiled up in a fetal position, cold, stiff, and finally succumbing to his failure to thrive.
Scrubbing a hand at his leaking eyes, he tried to swallow past the unmoving bulge in his throat. No longer a cadet, not yet a firefighter, in a fog, he shuffled along the concrete walkway toward the fun zone while the walls of his life closed in and cloaked his future.
Couldn’t breathe…
Heart racing…
Damn panic attack striking hard in the middle of a wide open space. What would he do with his life? He restored old fire trucks and had a degree in firefighting—all his life he’d put his energy into a place he didn’t belong.
“Change for yourself...before all you’re left with is regret.”
Maggie was so smart, but how could he do what she said? How did he change when all that surrounded him was death? How did he let go of his promise to his father?
Vision blurry, Garrett glanced upward, searching for stars but finding instead a mildewed canopy. Though he hadn’t believed in spirits and ethereal signs, he prayed to anyone who might listen, to the spirits said to inhabit Safe Haven, to his father. “Dad, what do I do? Tell me what to do… I’m scared I’m letting you down. I don’t know how to make things right without
Her mom shifted a turquoise taffeta dress over her arm. “So, I guess you’re forfeiting the dance tomorrow?”
Maggie shrugged and gathered the dress from her mom. She considered dropping it in the lost-and-found pile, but instead hung the gown in her locker. Confronting her mom had been easier than all the years she’d spent doing what she hadn’t particularly loved and holding back. But she still had college debt, and that responsibility tugged her to finish the competition. “This will be my last competition.”
In her mind, Garrett’s words surfaced. “Tonight, I’m going to change.”
She clutched her mom’s arm. “I have to stop Garrett from committing to firefighting—something he really doesn’t want to do—and reliving something that haunts him.”
Her mom threaded her arm under Maggie’s. “Be honest and tell him how you feel.”
“I will. I’m willing to take time to figure things out. He doesn’t have to force a career because he believes he has no other options.”
Her mom dug through her purse and handed Maggie the keys to her new sports car. “Go get him. I’ll catch a ride home…”
# # # #
Up over the fairground footbridge, Garrett strolled between the fair animals bedded down for the night. Wiring overhead strung a finite series of forty watt bulbs and turned the straw, where the farm animal menagerie bedded down, a sickly yellow. Wheelbarrows piled high with waste matched the way he felt inside.
If something didn’t change, if he didn’t face his fear of disappointing another, like he’d let down Maggie, he might as well replace his last name with failure . He needed to take time to explore his options, even if that meant breaking his promise to his father.
Breaking a promise— a deathbed promise …
He choked on his tight throat and crushing chest, staggering toward the fun zone that blurred to a dizzying array of white light in his colorless existence. If he didn’t capture the illusive change, then he’d never become that fun-loving guy.
A ewe bleated.
Near her head, Garrett spotted a lifeless lamb, half the size of the other that rooted at the ewe’s teat, tail wagging like a silent celebration of life. Instead of focusing on the healthy lamb however, the ewe drew her tired tongue in long pulls over the weakling.
It reminded him of everyone encouraging him to find his happiness.
A virtual lost cause.
The ewe gave the lamb a wasted nudge.
If Garrett didn’t take drastic measures, he might as well be that poor animal coiled up in a fetal position, cold, stiff, and finally succumbing to his failure to thrive.
Scrubbing a hand at his leaking eyes, he tried to swallow past the unmoving bulge in his throat. No longer a cadet, not yet a firefighter, in a fog, he shuffled along the concrete walkway toward the fun zone while the walls of his life closed in and cloaked his future.
Couldn’t breathe…
Heart racing…
Damn panic attack striking hard in the middle of a wide open space. What would he do with his life? He restored old fire trucks and had a degree in firefighting—all his life he’d put his energy into a place he didn’t belong.
“Change for yourself...before all you’re left with is regret.”
Maggie was so smart, but how could he do what she said? How did he change when all that surrounded him was death? How did he let go of his promise to his father?
Vision blurry, Garrett glanced upward, searching for stars but finding instead a mildewed canopy. Though he hadn’t believed in spirits and ethereal signs, he prayed to anyone who might listen, to the spirits said to inhabit Safe Haven, to his father. “Dad, what do I do? Tell me what to do… I’m scared I’m letting you down. I don’t know how to make things right without
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