hurting the ones I love. Without hurting Maggie. Without hurting myself…”
Bells and whistles sounded to his right and a fortune-telling machine declared, “for the price of a quarter, all of life’s questions answered.” The plastic-headed woman with the black nylon hair and a fringed leather wrap moved up and down on a metal stick, her mouth opening and closing, synchronized with the tinny statement.
He dug through his pocket and retrieved the quarter that had helped him survive the refrigerator experience. His thumb massaged each side, spinning the quarter so familiar after thirteen years… The fortune was his last chance.
He slipped the quarter into the slot.
Like a gasoline engine filled half-way with water, the machine sputtered and popped. Then everything fell silent. The fair music faded. That Native American woman who seemed more human than doll chanted, “Breaking a promise that should never have been made isn’t wrong if you uphold the intent. Upholding the intent is honoring the promise.”
Like some spiritual rubber band, the world snapped back. The fairground sounds bubbled all around him. Children’s laughter he hadn’t noticed before filled the space he breathed. The scent of cotton candy , corndogs, and kettle corn wafted through the air and seated in his soul. The one-dimensional lighting turned rainbow, and behind him, two little lambs bleated.
All along the answer had been right in front of him. He was holding on to other’s dreams and forcing them to be his own when they were not. His dad always said, “Everyone gets scared, but firefighters move beyond their fear.” So Garrett might not be a true firefighter, but he could overcome his fear if the situation is important enough, just like he had when he’d rescued Ms. Aubrey.
At the realization, air whooshed from his chest and his shoulder’s sagged, releasing the tension from his neck and back. He’d been using his claustrophobia as a crutch, when the fact was he didn’t want to be a firefighter.
He had to take time to figure stuff out. Take time to find his happy place, not separate from Maggie, but a life that included the woman he loved. Only Maggie wanted to travel, which meant he’d have to find a little slice of Safe Haven—new roots in a new land—somewhere else. She’d said that together, they could conquer anything. And he loved her. That bond couldn’t be broken by a kiss from a guy she didn’t like, or by his ex’s flirtations.
With jerky moves, he rummaged through his pocket and found his cell. When her voicemail answered, he left an extended message, telling her how he loved her and so much more. Because what made him the happiest was having her in his arms. They’d nourished their relationship from a seed and he was ready to reap the reward—her love. Didn’t matter where they went as long as they were together—that’s what made him happiest.
“Garrett!”
At the sound of his name, he spun, his heart thumping in his chest.
One of the guys from the firehouse jogged up to him. “Mitch couldn’t reach you, so he sent me to find you. The lock has been repaired. He’s ready to administer the test. ”
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Live the life you’ve imagined.”
–Thoreau
Chapter Four
When Garrett entered the station, he hadn’t expected the entire squad to cheer him on. In a way, their support made his decision to enter the confined space bittersweet, because passing meant he’d be offered a job he planned to decline.
Mitchell held his gaze and gave Garrett’s shoulder a squeeze. “Whatever the outcome, we’re proud of you.”
With stiff fingers, he clutched the corrugated door. “Thank you, Mitch.”
The door clicked shut and praise from his brother and the other men, even Dane, echoed outside. Garrett took a deep breath, tipped his head against the ribbed wall, and closed his eyes. Maggie’s speech of how she’d found peace after her father’s
Bells and whistles sounded to his right and a fortune-telling machine declared, “for the price of a quarter, all of life’s questions answered.” The plastic-headed woman with the black nylon hair and a fringed leather wrap moved up and down on a metal stick, her mouth opening and closing, synchronized with the tinny statement.
He dug through his pocket and retrieved the quarter that had helped him survive the refrigerator experience. His thumb massaged each side, spinning the quarter so familiar after thirteen years… The fortune was his last chance.
He slipped the quarter into the slot.
Like a gasoline engine filled half-way with water, the machine sputtered and popped. Then everything fell silent. The fair music faded. That Native American woman who seemed more human than doll chanted, “Breaking a promise that should never have been made isn’t wrong if you uphold the intent. Upholding the intent is honoring the promise.”
Like some spiritual rubber band, the world snapped back. The fairground sounds bubbled all around him. Children’s laughter he hadn’t noticed before filled the space he breathed. The scent of cotton candy , corndogs, and kettle corn wafted through the air and seated in his soul. The one-dimensional lighting turned rainbow, and behind him, two little lambs bleated.
All along the answer had been right in front of him. He was holding on to other’s dreams and forcing them to be his own when they were not. His dad always said, “Everyone gets scared, but firefighters move beyond their fear.” So Garrett might not be a true firefighter, but he could overcome his fear if the situation is important enough, just like he had when he’d rescued Ms. Aubrey.
At the realization, air whooshed from his chest and his shoulder’s sagged, releasing the tension from his neck and back. He’d been using his claustrophobia as a crutch, when the fact was he didn’t want to be a firefighter.
He had to take time to figure stuff out. Take time to find his happy place, not separate from Maggie, but a life that included the woman he loved. Only Maggie wanted to travel, which meant he’d have to find a little slice of Safe Haven—new roots in a new land—somewhere else. She’d said that together, they could conquer anything. And he loved her. That bond couldn’t be broken by a kiss from a guy she didn’t like, or by his ex’s flirtations.
With jerky moves, he rummaged through his pocket and found his cell. When her voicemail answered, he left an extended message, telling her how he loved her and so much more. Because what made him the happiest was having her in his arms. They’d nourished their relationship from a seed and he was ready to reap the reward—her love. Didn’t matter where they went as long as they were together—that’s what made him happiest.
“Garrett!”
At the sound of his name, he spun, his heart thumping in his chest.
One of the guys from the firehouse jogged up to him. “Mitch couldn’t reach you, so he sent me to find you. The lock has been repaired. He’s ready to administer the test. ”
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Live the life you’ve imagined.”
–Thoreau
Chapter Four
When Garrett entered the station, he hadn’t expected the entire squad to cheer him on. In a way, their support made his decision to enter the confined space bittersweet, because passing meant he’d be offered a job he planned to decline.
Mitchell held his gaze and gave Garrett’s shoulder a squeeze. “Whatever the outcome, we’re proud of you.”
With stiff fingers, he clutched the corrugated door. “Thank you, Mitch.”
The door clicked shut and praise from his brother and the other men, even Dane, echoed outside. Garrett took a deep breath, tipped his head against the ribbed wall, and closed his eyes. Maggie’s speech of how she’d found peace after her father’s
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