family I have. I’ll not allow you to kill yourself one drink at a time.”
Griff raked his fingers through his hair. “You don’t know. There’s no way you can understand.”
Adam’s face softened ever so slightly. “You can’t protect the world, Griff. You aren’t the cause of everything that goes wrong. You didn’t fire the bullet that killed Freddie, just as you didn’t cause the storm that took Julia and Andrew from you. You aren’t to blame, Griff. Punishing yourself will not bring them back.”
“Damn you, Adam. Damn you!”
Griff held himself back from refilling his glass. Instead, he made his way to the opposite side of the room and stared out the window. He didn’t have enough courage to do what Adam wanted him to do. He didn’t care. Not anymore.
He fought to catch his breath. Even the liquor he’d consumed already this morning couldn’t make what he had to do easier. Why hadn’t God taken him instead of Freddie? Why hadn’t He let him drown with his wife and son?
“How badly do you want to save Freddie’s sister, Griff? You are all that stands between her and starvation, or worse. If you truly want to protect her, all you have to do is put down that glass and let me help you.”
A knot tightened in Griff’s gut, the panic racing through him like a raging storm at sea. He’d never been more frightened in his life. He had no choice. He knew it was only a matter of time until the liquor killed him just as dead as a bullet would. He couldn’t continue like he had much longer before the black pit he’d fallen into would be too deep to climb out of. He knew Adam’s offer was the only way to help Freddie’s sister. The only way he could save himself.
Take care of Annie. Please.
Griff braced his hands against the window frame and hung his head between his outstretched arms. He had no choice. Not if he wanted to honor Freddie’s last request.
“I’ll bring Freddie’s sister here tomorrow.”
“I’ll tell Patience. And I’ll have a room ready for you in the east wing. You will stay here until you are well.”
Griff shook his head. “I’ll go to the country.”
“No. You’ll stay here, Griff. Thornton’s already explained this won’t be easy. You’ll need help.”
Griff clenched his fists at his side and prepared to argue. Adam’s raised hand stopped him.
“Don’t, Griff. Nothing you say will change my mind. I refuse to allow you to destroy yourself.”
Griff wanted to argue. He wanted to scream his frustration and fear. He wasn’t sure he could do this. He wasn’t brave enough to face the demons that plagued him.
He opened his mouth to make a final plea, then closed it. The hard set of Adam’s expression made him hold his tongue.
“Don’t concern yourself, Griff. I’ll be here for you.”
Griff answered his brother with a sharp nod, then set his empty glass on the corner of the table. With slow, unsteady steps he left the room.
He’d buried his wife and son and somehow survived. He’d risked his life more times than he could count during the war and somehow survived. He’d watched his best friend die in his place and still survived. But this? Surely he could survive giving up drinking just until Freddie’s sister was someone else’s responsibility.
But a part of him wasn’t sure he was brave enough to face all his nightmares sober.
Chapter 6
A nne lifted the blue chintz curtain at the window and watched as a rider made his way up the lane. It was Lord Brentwood.
She pressed her back against the cold outside wall and closed her eyes. Oh, she wished she hadn’t sent Becca to Reverend Talbert’s to return the books they’d borrowed. She dreaded being alone with the marquess. For some reason she did not understand, he frightened her.
The sound of his horse’s hooves neared the cottage, then came to a stop outside the door. Anne smoothed down the skirt of her black bombazine gown as he knocked. She took a deep breath and opened the door.
“Good
Griff raked his fingers through his hair. “You don’t know. There’s no way you can understand.”
Adam’s face softened ever so slightly. “You can’t protect the world, Griff. You aren’t the cause of everything that goes wrong. You didn’t fire the bullet that killed Freddie, just as you didn’t cause the storm that took Julia and Andrew from you. You aren’t to blame, Griff. Punishing yourself will not bring them back.”
“Damn you, Adam. Damn you!”
Griff held himself back from refilling his glass. Instead, he made his way to the opposite side of the room and stared out the window. He didn’t have enough courage to do what Adam wanted him to do. He didn’t care. Not anymore.
He fought to catch his breath. Even the liquor he’d consumed already this morning couldn’t make what he had to do easier. Why hadn’t God taken him instead of Freddie? Why hadn’t He let him drown with his wife and son?
“How badly do you want to save Freddie’s sister, Griff? You are all that stands between her and starvation, or worse. If you truly want to protect her, all you have to do is put down that glass and let me help you.”
A knot tightened in Griff’s gut, the panic racing through him like a raging storm at sea. He’d never been more frightened in his life. He had no choice. He knew it was only a matter of time until the liquor killed him just as dead as a bullet would. He couldn’t continue like he had much longer before the black pit he’d fallen into would be too deep to climb out of. He knew Adam’s offer was the only way to help Freddie’s sister. The only way he could save himself.
Take care of Annie. Please.
Griff braced his hands against the window frame and hung his head between his outstretched arms. He had no choice. Not if he wanted to honor Freddie’s last request.
“I’ll bring Freddie’s sister here tomorrow.”
“I’ll tell Patience. And I’ll have a room ready for you in the east wing. You will stay here until you are well.”
Griff shook his head. “I’ll go to the country.”
“No. You’ll stay here, Griff. Thornton’s already explained this won’t be easy. You’ll need help.”
Griff clenched his fists at his side and prepared to argue. Adam’s raised hand stopped him.
“Don’t, Griff. Nothing you say will change my mind. I refuse to allow you to destroy yourself.”
Griff wanted to argue. He wanted to scream his frustration and fear. He wasn’t sure he could do this. He wasn’t brave enough to face the demons that plagued him.
He opened his mouth to make a final plea, then closed it. The hard set of Adam’s expression made him hold his tongue.
“Don’t concern yourself, Griff. I’ll be here for you.”
Griff answered his brother with a sharp nod, then set his empty glass on the corner of the table. With slow, unsteady steps he left the room.
He’d buried his wife and son and somehow survived. He’d risked his life more times than he could count during the war and somehow survived. He’d watched his best friend die in his place and still survived. But this? Surely he could survive giving up drinking just until Freddie’s sister was someone else’s responsibility.
But a part of him wasn’t sure he was brave enough to face all his nightmares sober.
Chapter 6
A nne lifted the blue chintz curtain at the window and watched as a rider made his way up the lane. It was Lord Brentwood.
She pressed her back against the cold outside wall and closed her eyes. Oh, she wished she hadn’t sent Becca to Reverend Talbert’s to return the books they’d borrowed. She dreaded being alone with the marquess. For some reason she did not understand, he frightened her.
The sound of his horse’s hooves neared the cottage, then came to a stop outside the door. Anne smoothed down the skirt of her black bombazine gown as he knocked. She took a deep breath and opened the door.
“Good
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