asleep when he put it there.) He said, “Happy birthday.”
I unwrapped it and held up a beautiful ballerina figurine. She's perfect and very fragile.
“It's made of porcelain,” he said. “That's supposed to be nice stuff.”
I told him how much I LOVED it. I wanted to hug him, but I was too shy. Good thing too, 'cause Mom came out and said it was time for a snack (our code for “time to take more pills”).
The ballerina is on my dresser, in the place of honor she deserves, and I see her whenever I look up.
I've known Jesse forever …I wonder if what I felt for him tonight is l-o-v-e? Mom would say I'm too young to be in love, but I don't know…. He's very special to me. He makes me glow.
Elana's Journal
August 31, 11 P.M.
Tonight, as I looked at Melinda and Jesse together, I saw a woman inside my child. And I saw how Jesse looks at her, with adoration, pure sweet adoration.
He doesn't appear to see the effects of her canceron her, which is a miracle, I think. I'm grateful that he has been so kind to her. How awful it would been if he had acted like a jerk and rejected her. How would she have accepted his rejection? It would have crushed her. If he chooses not to stay in touch once he returns to California, I'll understand. But until that happens, I bless that boy.
If I could put the joy of this day in a bottle and save it, I would. It helps balance out those days in the hospital when all seemed bleak and lost. My child is growing up … and as her mother, I'm torn between wanting it and dreading it. I wish my mother were still alive and that I could talk to her.
Happy birthday, Melinda, my daughter, my child. I love you so very much.
TO: Mom
Subject: My Visit
I'm using Melinda's computer to write this while she's napping. Her mom said it's OK, that my tapping on computer keys won't wake her. I like being here and seeing her again. I was afraid during the flight that she'd think I was some nutty kid from a past life she'd HAD to invite just to be nice. I was afraid she didn't really want me here but had agreed to my visit so she wouldn't hurt her parents' feelings. She's told me though that she's glad I'm here, and that she hopes we can be friends forever. Nice, huh?
I like her mom and dad as much as I ever did (although her mom talks a lot, but DON'T tell her I said so). You should see the way they fixed up their garage so that Melinda can begin dancing again! BTW, her dad's taking us all to a Braves game Friday night (if Melinda feels like it). He's on flight duty now, but he'll be home tomorrow.
Hope you aren't missing me too much. I'll fly home next Saturday and will send the scheduleonce Mr. Skye sets it up. Wish I could stay longer.
Jesse
MELINDA'S DIARY
September 1
Tomorrow is Labor Day, and we're going out on the lake in the sailboat. Jesse's never sailed before even though he lives in California. He leaves Saturday and I'm really going to miss him, but I'm glad he won't be around to witness my further decline. I'm getting fatter by the day and the new meds make me really tired and cranky. I have a chemo session next Friday and will begin the homebound program next Monday. Not looking forward to either!
Bailey says school's boring (her usual take on school), but that she's been looking around for a new boyfriend because Pete's going to the community college and doesn't have time (or interest) for her these days. Poor Bailey—she wants a steady boyfriend so much. Hope she gets one soon.
I keep trying to stay dance-fit. Going up on pointe is killer! My feet are so out of shape. I haveto build up the calluses again, and no matter how tight I wrap my little footies, they still hurt. My toe
nails began to bleed from the pressure of toe work. Jesse wanted to get Mom, but I grabbed him. “She'll make me stop,” I said. “I have to keep going.”
He said, “Maybe you should stop.”
“I'll never get into shape if I don't toughen up,” I said. “No pain, no gain.”
We were standing
I unwrapped it and held up a beautiful ballerina figurine. She's perfect and very fragile.
“It's made of porcelain,” he said. “That's supposed to be nice stuff.”
I told him how much I LOVED it. I wanted to hug him, but I was too shy. Good thing too, 'cause Mom came out and said it was time for a snack (our code for “time to take more pills”).
The ballerina is on my dresser, in the place of honor she deserves, and I see her whenever I look up.
I've known Jesse forever …I wonder if what I felt for him tonight is l-o-v-e? Mom would say I'm too young to be in love, but I don't know…. He's very special to me. He makes me glow.
Elana's Journal
August 31, 11 P.M.
Tonight, as I looked at Melinda and Jesse together, I saw a woman inside my child. And I saw how Jesse looks at her, with adoration, pure sweet adoration.
He doesn't appear to see the effects of her canceron her, which is a miracle, I think. I'm grateful that he has been so kind to her. How awful it would been if he had acted like a jerk and rejected her. How would she have accepted his rejection? It would have crushed her. If he chooses not to stay in touch once he returns to California, I'll understand. But until that happens, I bless that boy.
If I could put the joy of this day in a bottle and save it, I would. It helps balance out those days in the hospital when all seemed bleak and lost. My child is growing up … and as her mother, I'm torn between wanting it and dreading it. I wish my mother were still alive and that I could talk to her.
Happy birthday, Melinda, my daughter, my child. I love you so very much.
TO: Mom
Subject: My Visit
I'm using Melinda's computer to write this while she's napping. Her mom said it's OK, that my tapping on computer keys won't wake her. I like being here and seeing her again. I was afraid during the flight that she'd think I was some nutty kid from a past life she'd HAD to invite just to be nice. I was afraid she didn't really want me here but had agreed to my visit so she wouldn't hurt her parents' feelings. She's told me though that she's glad I'm here, and that she hopes we can be friends forever. Nice, huh?
I like her mom and dad as much as I ever did (although her mom talks a lot, but DON'T tell her I said so). You should see the way they fixed up their garage so that Melinda can begin dancing again! BTW, her dad's taking us all to a Braves game Friday night (if Melinda feels like it). He's on flight duty now, but he'll be home tomorrow.
Hope you aren't missing me too much. I'll fly home next Saturday and will send the scheduleonce Mr. Skye sets it up. Wish I could stay longer.
Jesse
MELINDA'S DIARY
September 1
Tomorrow is Labor Day, and we're going out on the lake in the sailboat. Jesse's never sailed before even though he lives in California. He leaves Saturday and I'm really going to miss him, but I'm glad he won't be around to witness my further decline. I'm getting fatter by the day and the new meds make me really tired and cranky. I have a chemo session next Friday and will begin the homebound program next Monday. Not looking forward to either!
Bailey says school's boring (her usual take on school), but that she's been looking around for a new boyfriend because Pete's going to the community college and doesn't have time (or interest) for her these days. Poor Bailey—she wants a steady boyfriend so much. Hope she gets one soon.
I keep trying to stay dance-fit. Going up on pointe is killer! My feet are so out of shape. I haveto build up the calluses again, and no matter how tight I wrap my little footies, they still hurt. My toe
nails began to bleed from the pressure of toe work. Jesse wanted to get Mom, but I grabbed him. “She'll make me stop,” I said. “I have to keep going.”
He said, “Maybe you should stop.”
“I'll never get into shape if I don't toughen up,” I said. “No pain, no gain.”
We were standing
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