Saint-Etienne de Calanais as the organ played and the choir sung. I had done this walk twice in two days and I would be glad to never grace the footsteps of this place again.
As the casket was loaded into the hearse for it's scenic trip through the city, passed all of the grieving subjects and on to the mausoleum where we so recently laid my father to rest, I made a promise to Jacob. I would rule where he could not. I would take up his mantel and his birthright and step into his shoes to fulfil the promise he could not. And I would leave a legacy that not only would he and father be proud of but so too the many St Benét's to come after me.
I stared at the ceiling of my bedroom and wondered why it was that on the first day that I'd had that I could actually sleep in, I was awake before the sun was even up. Today was the official start of the palace's mourning period. It would last three months for me, six months for my mother. I would be required to wear black and to stay within the confines of the palace as much as possible. There would be no outside visitors, no visiting heads of state and no engagements, royal or other. I was pretty much grounded.
That didn't mean I got to be a lady of leisure though, despite what the public might think. This was a time of metamorphosis for me as I changed from the child princess into the Queen. The coronation would be held at the end of my mother's mourning period and I had a lot to do if I wanted to ensure my crown and my throne were secure.
But today was a rare day off. I could stay abed if I so desired and order food to be brought to my room like I was ensconced in a fancy hotel. But instead, I was restless and I couldn't sleep. I threw the heavy covers back and switched on my bedside lamp. The door opened and Scott stuck his head inside to see what was happening.
"I'm going for a run," I said to his unasked question, "Can you see if Meredith's awake?"
He nodded and pulled the door closed. I knew that they would wake her if she wasn't already awake and I wasn't the least bit perturbed by it. I needed to run and think and talk and she was my preferred partner in all of those activities. Besides, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mind.
The door opened again as I was lacing up my runners and she stuck her head in.
"Ready?" she asked and I nodded.
As per Von Bartham's instructions, since I was going running in the palace grounds, I had four guards accompanying me. Luckily they knew me well enough to stay back and let me have some quiet time with Meredith.
We didn't speak at first as we ran. The monotonous sound of our pounding steps in the foggy, barely light morning had a calming effect on me and almost lulled me into a sense of being alone. I know my security detail did their best to stay unobtrusive, but I always knew they were there. It is an odd feeling to be watched constantly and I don't really know what it would feel like to be completely on my own.
I've heard it said that the English Queen Victoria's first request as Queen was to have an hour of absolute solitude. Up until that point in her life, she had been watched constantly. I understood her desire and had begun to think I might make the exact same request myself.
There was something to be said of those English Queens and I could probably learn a lot from them. Unlike my own ancestors, Elizabeth I, Victoria and Elizabeth II had all become Queens in their own right and not through marriage. Th first Elizabeth had had to fight for hers and Victoria had had a remarkable influence over the government of her time. Elizabeth II had stood the test of time and survived scandals, caused by her offspring, to remain a well-loved Queen who showed the utmost dignity in all she did. Yes, I could definitely learn something from them.
The promise I made to my brother weighed heavy on me. I was determined to step into his shoes, but I really had
As the casket was loaded into the hearse for it's scenic trip through the city, passed all of the grieving subjects and on to the mausoleum where we so recently laid my father to rest, I made a promise to Jacob. I would rule where he could not. I would take up his mantel and his birthright and step into his shoes to fulfil the promise he could not. And I would leave a legacy that not only would he and father be proud of but so too the many St Benét's to come after me.
I stared at the ceiling of my bedroom and wondered why it was that on the first day that I'd had that I could actually sleep in, I was awake before the sun was even up. Today was the official start of the palace's mourning period. It would last three months for me, six months for my mother. I would be required to wear black and to stay within the confines of the palace as much as possible. There would be no outside visitors, no visiting heads of state and no engagements, royal or other. I was pretty much grounded.
That didn't mean I got to be a lady of leisure though, despite what the public might think. This was a time of metamorphosis for me as I changed from the child princess into the Queen. The coronation would be held at the end of my mother's mourning period and I had a lot to do if I wanted to ensure my crown and my throne were secure.
But today was a rare day off. I could stay abed if I so desired and order food to be brought to my room like I was ensconced in a fancy hotel. But instead, I was restless and I couldn't sleep. I threw the heavy covers back and switched on my bedside lamp. The door opened and Scott stuck his head inside to see what was happening.
"I'm going for a run," I said to his unasked question, "Can you see if Meredith's awake?"
He nodded and pulled the door closed. I knew that they would wake her if she wasn't already awake and I wasn't the least bit perturbed by it. I needed to run and think and talk and she was my preferred partner in all of those activities. Besides, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mind.
The door opened again as I was lacing up my runners and she stuck her head in.
"Ready?" she asked and I nodded.
As per Von Bartham's instructions, since I was going running in the palace grounds, I had four guards accompanying me. Luckily they knew me well enough to stay back and let me have some quiet time with Meredith.
We didn't speak at first as we ran. The monotonous sound of our pounding steps in the foggy, barely light morning had a calming effect on me and almost lulled me into a sense of being alone. I know my security detail did their best to stay unobtrusive, but I always knew they were there. It is an odd feeling to be watched constantly and I don't really know what it would feel like to be completely on my own.
I've heard it said that the English Queen Victoria's first request as Queen was to have an hour of absolute solitude. Up until that point in her life, she had been watched constantly. I understood her desire and had begun to think I might make the exact same request myself.
There was something to be said of those English Queens and I could probably learn a lot from them. Unlike my own ancestors, Elizabeth I, Victoria and Elizabeth II had all become Queens in their own right and not through marriage. Th first Elizabeth had had to fight for hers and Victoria had had a remarkable influence over the government of her time. Elizabeth II had stood the test of time and survived scandals, caused by her offspring, to remain a well-loved Queen who showed the utmost dignity in all she did. Yes, I could definitely learn something from them.
The promise I made to my brother weighed heavy on me. I was determined to step into his shoes, but I really had
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