A Santini Christmas by Melissa Schroeder Page A

that night, she knew who it was without looking. She hated the fact that she was comforted that he was there.
    “ Are you okay?” he asked softly.
    She nodded, trying to hold it together. It would not be like last time. It wasn’t. This time, she defended herself. No one would be able to say it was her fault.
    Joey felt him approach her, but she didn’t hear him. Part of that training he was so proud of.
    “ Are you sure he didn’t hurt you?”
    “ I didn’t give him the opportunity.”
    “ Where did you learn to fight like that?”
    “ Sam. When I started working there, he said I needed some lessons. I think Thelma told him…”
    She realized then how upset she was. She had almost blurted out the one thing she told almost no one. He touched her shoulder and she jerked.
    “ Sorry.”
    “ No, it just took me by surprise. It’s okay.”
    He slipped his arms around her, and she leaned back into his warmth. “You don’t always have to be the strongest person in the room, Joey.”
    She sighed as she closed her eyes trying to keep the tears from falling. The confrontation had her entire body on alert and, normally, she would shy away from physical contact. With Stewart, it was different. There was something about him that had her yearning for his touch.
    “ I don’t want to be the strongest. I just want to survive.”
    And that was all she had been thinking about when she started to hit that college kid. He’d touched her and she was back in high school, Jason Pierson’s sweaty hands on her and she’d lost it. Right there and then, Joey wasn’t sure if she had hit the college kid because of what he had tried or what Jason had done five years earlier.
    “ Well, you definitely did that. I have little doubt that college boy will remember to respect women after tonight.”
    She laughed but it ended on a sob.
    “ Hey, Joey, baby.”
    His voice was equal parts soothing and panic. It was a strange combination that she would have normally laughed at, but right now, she didn’t see a reason to laugh. Stewart turned her his in arms so they faced each other. He pulled her closer and just held her. Joey felt the brush of his mouth against her temple. His heart beat against her ear. He stood there in her apartment and rocked her.
    “ I…” she couldn’t think of anything to say. She shivered as the adrenaline started to fade and she realized how close she had been to going through that experience again.
    “ Shh,” he said. And for once, she listened to a man. She sobbed against Stewart’s shirt and again, she didn’t know if it was for tonight or for the memories that still bothered her. It didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that she was safe, there in Stewart’s arms.
    After a few moments, he lifted her into his arms and walked her into the alcove where her bed was. He laid her on the bed and Joey expected him to lay down with her.
    Instead, he kissed her forehead. The gentle touch had her craving something else, something more from a man. Something she hadn’t wanted for five long years. The need had been building the last three weeks. Every time she was with him, the ache for him grew. When she reached for him, he shook his head.
    “ That wouldn’t be right.”
    Disappointment crashed down on her. She realized he must have figured out what had happened all those years ago and there were men who were disgusted by women who’d been raped.
    She sighed, not realizing until now just how much she had needed him to touch her. She was agitated by her own desires and his reaction to them. When she spoke, her voice was harsher than it normally was.
    “ Then, just go.”
    He shook his head again. “I’ll sleep on the couch. You rest. I’ll be here if you need me.”
    Stewart kissed her on the forehead again, then pulled the sheet she used for privacy closed. She lay back down and stared at the water stained ceiling above her bed. Joey wanted to be mad. She was irritated, but there was comfort in