A Sight for Sore Eyes by Ruth Rendell

doesn't bear much relation to reality, but you'd be a strange man if you didn't have it. Suppose I said you'd have to be a psychopath not to feel guilt? How about that?' He told her how his wife and he had grown apart in the months before her death, how she had become cold towards him and he had spent more and more time away from his family, furthering his career. Now he blamed himself for that too, for being insensitive to Jennifer's needs, for failing to ask, to talk. 'What would you like best in the world?' said Julia. He didn't have to think about that. 'To undo it. To go back and do things differently.' 'But the reality is that you can't do that. No one can. If you had three wishes, three reasonable, possible wishes, what would they be?' 'To protect Francine,' he said. 'Have her grow up safe and without trauma. To sleep at night the way I used to.' 'And the third wish?' Until that moment he hadn't known what a third wish would be. ft came to him like a beam of light penetrating a dark room. Disclose it now he couldn't. He could only look at Julia, shake his head and say, 'One day I'll tell you.' She smiled. She took her hand from under her cheek and laid it on his. 'Time's up, Richard. Shall I see you next week? Same time, same place?' 'Of course.' Francine came to her next day, brought by Flora. 'It's time we talked about that day, Francine,' said Julia. What was meant by that day' Francine knew at once. She had never spoken of it with Julia, though she had with almost everyone else. She would have liked to try and put it away from her, bury it in the past and have it come back oniv in her dreams. Now Julia said that would be wrong. It must be talked over. She wasn't a rebellious child, but quiet and sweet, and above all anxious that her father should be happy. She came to Julia without protest because her father wanted her to. But she was desperate not to talk to Julia about that day. 'You think the man will lind YOU, don't you, Francine?' It had never crossed her mind. 'I know the reason why you don't want to talk about it. It is because you are afraid of the man finding you. Aren't I right?' Francine was anxious not to cry, but she did, she couldn't help herself. Julia took her into her arms and held her against her slippery white satin blouse, hugged her long and lovingly and stroked her hair. 'I will never let you come to any harm. Daddy will never let you come to harm. You know that now, don't you?' Nearly a year was to pass before Richard understood the cause of Julia's sudden decision to retire from practice, sell her house and move. At the time these seemed acts heaven-sent for his own purposes, or beautiful coincidences. One Saturday evening, when he and Francine were alone, when they had had their supper and had just finished listening to a CD of Britten's Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra, he said to her, 'Sweetheart, I want to ask you something. It's rather serious.' 'Is it about that day?' she said. He knew what she meant and he was taken aback. Had he been in danger of forgetting how much the past preyed on her mind? 'No, it's not about that. We've said everything there is to say about that.' She nodded, then, as if on an afterthought of doubt, shrugged her shoukiers. 'What I want to ask you is quite different. It's about the future, not the past, the time to come.' He waited, then said, 'How would you feel if I got married?' 'Married?' 'I'd like to get married. I will never forget your mother, you know that. I will never stop loving her. But I want to be married again, for your sake too. I expect you know who it is?' 'Flora,' she said. Her guesswork, as wide of the mark as could be, almost angered him. She was only a child. Still, to suppose him likely to marry an overweight frump with permed hair and red hands, a one-time State Enrolled Nurse with a Bristol accent... 'It's Julia.' He kept his patience. He even smiled, but without looking directly at her. 'I haven't asked her yet. I am asking your