A Witch In Time: Magic and Mayhem Book Three by Robyn Peterman Page B

I’m willing to humiliate myself in front of the masses. I mean my Goddess, he was my freakin’ cat for a few years. The very least I could do for him is give the town reason to make fun of me for the next decade or two.”
     
    “Is there anything else?” he asked.
     
    “Yes,” I stated with a wince as I sat down on the couch and put my head between my knees. “Do you have any paper bags I could breathe into after I say the next part? I’m afraid I might pass out.”
     
    “How about the puke bucket?” he suggested and held it up.
     
    “Good idea,” I said as Roger placed it next to me as I sat on his still ugly couch. “Mmmkay. I’m going to give Saaaaa… ” I stuttered and got light headed.
     
    I could do this. It was right and good and I was trying like a mother humper to change for the better—or at least a loose definition of the better .
     
    “Are you all right, Zelda?” Roger asked.
     
    “No. If I was all right I wouldn’t be sitting here telling you I was going to give Sassy full access to my closet,” I gasped out on one breath.
     
    We both sat in frozen silence and waited for the world to explode.
     
    “Shit balls on fire.” I groaned and picked up the bucket just in case. “Did I actually say that aloud and we’re still alive?”
     
    “Yes. Yes you did and yes we are,” Roger said with a weak smile. “Are you sure about all this?”
     
    “Absolutely not,” I told him truthfully. “Sassy will be taking her life into her own hands if she even touches my stuff, but she’s a powerful witch. I figure she’ll be fine with a few zaps and possibly no hair. I just think if I gave up some of my control with material things it would be okay for Mac to climb my hair and perform a private porno in my tree house.”
     
    “The same tree house you’re going to invite me to lunch in?” Roger inquired with a scrunched nose.
     
    “Um… yes.”
     
    “I’m going to pass,” he said politely.
     
    “I thought you were into porno, not that you’d be invited to that part,” I quickly added.
     
    “While I do enjoy the occasional adult film, I prefer not to know the actors,” he replied primly with his hands folded neatly on his desk.
     
    My grin split my face. Prim and porno didn’t quite go together, but we were all strange—some more than others.
     
    “Okey dokey then, we’ll go to the diner.”
     
    “That would be lovely,” he replied with a smirk.
     
    “Back to the rest of the shit show I’m embarking on… the thought of doing the play gives me hives, but I’m fairly certain I love Fabio and I want him to be happy. Do you think that means I really love him? I mean I can’t act my way out of a butthole, yet I’m willing to make a fool of myself.”
     
    While I waited for Roger’s reply, I realized I was holding my breath.
     
    “As to your question,” he said slowly—so slowly I was starting to turn blue… “You are the only one that can answer that.”
     
    “You suck as a therapist,” I shouted. “Here I am ready to lose my entire wardrobe to someone with knockers three times the size of mine and become the joke of the town by performing in a theatrical clusterfuck where people may die and you can’t answer one freakin’ question?”
     
    “It wouldn’t matter if I answered it or not,” the bunny replied logically. “It would simply be my opinion. My opinion doesn’t matter—yours does.”
     
    Son of a bitch, the rabbit was making sense. I didn’t like it anymore than the no sex edict he’d shoved into my brain earlier, but I couldn’t even argue with him. He was correct. I needed to make my own decisions. I just hoped a massive dose of therapy, saying goodbye to tens of thousands of dollars’ worth of clothes and getting an ass load of heinous reviews on my acting abilities was going to be enough.
     
    Damn it, it had to be. I wanted to get laid in a tree house.
     
    “When is the first rehearsal?” I heard myself ask aloud.
     
    Roger