common, as we have discovered through the numerous letters and phone calls we
have exchanged since we parted ways in Florida. We both like to read. We both like the theater. He likes to cook and
I love to eat new things… the list goes on and on. We both want to travel the world and eventually settle down
somewhere private. We want to be together forever.
I shared my feelings with Benjamin. I had to tell someone, or I would have exploded. He called me a fool. Said
only someone as inexperienced as I am would think lust is the same as love and that it will pass in a few weeks. I let
him laugh. I know how I feel. I don't need to be as versed as he is in sexuality and relationships to know it isn't lust
that keeps me awake every night wishing I could be in Manny's arms. It isn't lust that makes me feel like I have lost
a limb only because we are apart. And this pain in my heart whenever I think about the hundred different things that
could tear us apart? That's not lust… That is something else… something bigger and powerful and very much lasting.
Our jobs are demanding and we travel all over the place, yet we have managed to keep in touch and be together ten
times. Ten wonderful, breathtaking, delightful, and satisfying times. Sadly, it wasn't possible tonight. Perhaps next
week… Please, lord… let it be next week… November 20, 1964
Three days at my parents' house and I'm ready to take my own life.
Things in Los Angeles have been out of control for a while. I'm famous now. My face is on television and the big
screen, and my name on the marquees of every city. The audience recognizes and praises my hard work. They identify
with the characters I have played and constantly demand more. I receive so many scripts and offers from directors and
producers that I can't keep up with them anymore. I now have an assistant and a small group of people to help take
care of every detail of my career and life. As a result, I have no privacy.
Helen insisted I came home. She's now engaged and wanted me to meet her fiancé. Although I'm happy for her and
it has been years since I had a holiday with my family, I almost declined. I miss them all very much, especially Helen,
but I fear they'll be able to discover the truth behind my close friendship with Manny. The entire world knows about it.
For some reason, the press doesn't stop commenting on it.
But Manny is visiting what he calls his big rambunctious family in Miami. He loves them and they love him and
I'm happy they are very supportive of him, but I worry out of my mind when he's with his mother. Manny is twenty
four years old. At that age, Cuban men are already married and raising kids. So far he's been able to use his work as
an excuse not to make that kind of commitment, but that doesn't stop his mother from introducing him to every
Carmen, Teresa and Maria living in their neighborhood when Manny goes home. Her goal is to see him married by
the time he turns twenty-five, and I can't deal with that. I despair thinking she might be able to convince him.
At the end I decided to get over my irrational fears and come home. I'm an actor. I can pretend everything is
normal for as long as I have to. Have I not been doing the same in Los Angeles for months? I needed to escape for a
few days and visiting my family was the perfect solution. They would be able to distract me from thoughts of Manny
surrounded by women I don't know but hate all the same.
Mom and dad still live in the same small town where I grew up, so I expected peace and solitude. A total change
from the hectic and superficial climate that is so characteristic of Los Angeles. Instead I got the entire town stopping
by to say hello and ask for an autograph. My parents didn't stop them. Guess they aren't upset anymore I didn't become a dentist.
I also got questioned about my friendship with Manny. The family reads the magazines and newspapers. They're
worried about the rumors. They say it isn't good for me if people start believing
have exchanged since we parted ways in Florida. We both like to read. We both like the theater. He likes to cook and
I love to eat new things… the list goes on and on. We both want to travel the world and eventually settle down
somewhere private. We want to be together forever.
I shared my feelings with Benjamin. I had to tell someone, or I would have exploded. He called me a fool. Said
only someone as inexperienced as I am would think lust is the same as love and that it will pass in a few weeks. I let
him laugh. I know how I feel. I don't need to be as versed as he is in sexuality and relationships to know it isn't lust
that keeps me awake every night wishing I could be in Manny's arms. It isn't lust that makes me feel like I have lost
a limb only because we are apart. And this pain in my heart whenever I think about the hundred different things that
could tear us apart? That's not lust… That is something else… something bigger and powerful and very much lasting.
Our jobs are demanding and we travel all over the place, yet we have managed to keep in touch and be together ten
times. Ten wonderful, breathtaking, delightful, and satisfying times. Sadly, it wasn't possible tonight. Perhaps next
week… Please, lord… let it be next week… November 20, 1964
Three days at my parents' house and I'm ready to take my own life.
Things in Los Angeles have been out of control for a while. I'm famous now. My face is on television and the big
screen, and my name on the marquees of every city. The audience recognizes and praises my hard work. They identify
with the characters I have played and constantly demand more. I receive so many scripts and offers from directors and
producers that I can't keep up with them anymore. I now have an assistant and a small group of people to help take
care of every detail of my career and life. As a result, I have no privacy.
Helen insisted I came home. She's now engaged and wanted me to meet her fiancé. Although I'm happy for her and
it has been years since I had a holiday with my family, I almost declined. I miss them all very much, especially Helen,
but I fear they'll be able to discover the truth behind my close friendship with Manny. The entire world knows about it.
For some reason, the press doesn't stop commenting on it.
But Manny is visiting what he calls his big rambunctious family in Miami. He loves them and they love him and
I'm happy they are very supportive of him, but I worry out of my mind when he's with his mother. Manny is twenty
four years old. At that age, Cuban men are already married and raising kids. So far he's been able to use his work as
an excuse not to make that kind of commitment, but that doesn't stop his mother from introducing him to every
Carmen, Teresa and Maria living in their neighborhood when Manny goes home. Her goal is to see him married by
the time he turns twenty-five, and I can't deal with that. I despair thinking she might be able to convince him.
At the end I decided to get over my irrational fears and come home. I'm an actor. I can pretend everything is
normal for as long as I have to. Have I not been doing the same in Los Angeles for months? I needed to escape for a
few days and visiting my family was the perfect solution. They would be able to distract me from thoughts of Manny
surrounded by women I don't know but hate all the same.
Mom and dad still live in the same small town where I grew up, so I expected peace and solitude. A total change
from the hectic and superficial climate that is so characteristic of Los Angeles. Instead I got the entire town stopping
by to say hello and ask for an autograph. My parents didn't stop them. Guess they aren't upset anymore I didn't become a dentist.
I also got questioned about my friendship with Manny. The family reads the magazines and newspapers. They're
worried about the rumors. They say it isn't good for me if people start believing
Similar Books
