Accused (Ganzfield) by Kate Kaynak

trying to get a hand on me. It was probably out of a need for maternal reassurance— my baby is really here —as much a desire to read more than she’d gotten from that initial flash in the courtroom to find out what’d happened to me. But I shook my head and waved her hand away. I didn’t want her to know the terrible things in my head.
    I didn’t want anyone to know.
    I’d figured out a plan. If I ever found myself back at Ganzfield, I’d have Zack charm out all of those obscene memories and the emotional damage. I’d find him as soon as I returned, get him to help me before I got dodecamine, and get back to normal before anyone heard my thoughts. I hadn’t let him charm me the last time, but now… now my soul felt like dirty clothes and I badly needed a mental dry-cleaning. I couldn’t let anyone see me this way.
    Especially Trevor.
    My mom stopped trying to read my mind after Trevor gently but firmly put an invisible barrier around me. She filled the nearly four-hour drive with a chattering monologue of everything that’d happened while I’d been gone. “None of the RVs have been able to get a proper vision of Belinda’s location. She really did wipe their memories of her—she didn’t just suppress them—and no one’s been able to figure out how she did that. Seth’s been able to establish how she and Isaiah Lerner stayed in contact. He found more videos and files stored in an online account, but he was able to erase them. We’ve been tightening security since Trevor, Seth, and Drew’s first trip to find you in Maine.”
    First trip? They’d come back?
    “—under federal surveillance now, but there haven’t been any further problems or arrests. Jon didn’t want anyone coming to your hearing today; he didn’t want more of our people at risk. He thought that everyone in the courtroom could’ve been detained by Homeland Security or the Defense Department. If someone’s name even ended up in connection to yours, people like that Colonel Hunter might decide to target them next. But we convinced him that the government already knew I was your mother, and Trevor… was with you when they arrested you.”
    Great. I have “known associates.” I shook my head. They shouldn’t have risked it. Not for me.
    “—and Coleman’s been trying for weeks to get them to bring you into a courtroom. That base has an automated security system of some sort, in addition to all the guards. There wasn’t a way for a charm to get through it—at least, not without getting a security clearance. Coleman actually looked into that, too, but it seemed too risky to have more data in the system.”
    I rested my head on Trevor’s chest, feeling his closeness—his realness. My lungs seemed to re-inflate.
    “—still looking for a replacement charm instructor. It’s so hard to keep them there since charming pays so much better in the corporate world. Jon’s planning to—”
    My heart was beating again. I was sure it’d pumped blood the whole time I’d been detained, but I hadn’t noticed. It felt like I was on my way back from the dead.
    “—and we need to stop and get you some food, honey. You’re so thin.” She said it in a way that made it clear it wasn’t a compliment.
    I shook my head and clung more tightly to Trevor. I didn’t want to get out of the car—nothing in here tried to hurt me.
    “Honey, you really need to eat something.”
    Trevor’s voice rumbled beneath my cheek. “Nina, why don’t we get her something from a drive-thru?” It was hoarse, as though he had a cold.
    The food tasted strange and unreal—greasy and heavy. Moving my jaw caused an aching pain that spread across my skull, but I forced myself to chew and swallow a few bites. Even that small amount left me feeling uncomfortably full.
    Trevor sat silently for most of the trip, holding me close. What was he thinking? What was he feeling? Occasionally, either a physical or invisible hand would stroke my hair, as though Trevor was