bow (that’s the front of the ship) and imagined myself setting sail for a far-off island in search of hidden treasure.
“Looks like he’s a born sailor,” Mr. Brisbane observed. Now there’s a smart man!
“Don’t be ridiculous,” his wife said. “I wouldn’t let Humphrey get within sight of the water.”
What an unsqueakable thing to say!
“Why?” Mr. Brisbane asked.
“WHY-WHY-WHY?” I asked, too.
“Because hamsters must never get wet,” Mrs. Brisbane explained. “They catch chills easily and get sick or even die. Plus water removes the good oils in a hamster’s fur. You really should read up on hamsters the way I have, Bert.”
My heart sank to the bottom of my paws. This was worse news than anything Mrs. Wright ever said.
“Guess you’re not going to Potter’s Pond, my friend,” Mr. Brisbane told me.
I felt like I was spinning without my wheel. I felt sick with disappointment. I felt just about as bad as I did when Ms. Mac left and broke my hamster heart.
“No way,” Mrs. Brisbane agreed. “Besides, the poor thing would be terrified.”
A lot she knew! She had no idea of the fur-raising adventures I’d had. And I’d hardly ever been terrified, except by large and unfriendly animals, like Miranda’s dog, Clem.
Mr. Brisbane put me back in my cage.
“Sorry, Humphrey,” he said.
“You think you’re sorry,” I squeaked. “I’m about the sorriest creature in the world.”
They laughed at my squeaking, which hurt my feelings, but I forgave them.
They’re only humans, after all.
A landlubber’s life is a sorry one, me hearties. I pity the poor wretch who’s never known life on the briny deep!
From JOLLY ROGER’S GUIDE TO LIFE,
by I.C. Waters
8
Batten Down the Hatches
O nce I was back in Room 26, I spent a lot of time in my sleeping hut, trying hard not to think about boats. Every once in a while, though, I couldn’t resist checking up on my friends’ progress.
With Mr. Brisbane’s advice and help, holes were drilled, keels were attached, boats were sanded and painted and sails were raised. He seemed especially pleased with the progress Kirk and Richie were making with their tall ship. “Just make sure that those sails don’t weigh the boat down,” he told them.
“I’m going to test it at home tonight,” Kirk said.
After Mr. Brisbane moved on, Richie turned to Kirk. “Maybe I could test it at home.”
“Have you ever sailed a model boat before?” asked Kirk.
Richie admitted that he hadn’t. “But I can tell if it sails or sinks.”
“Look, I’ve done this before with my dad,” Kirk explained. “He knows all about boats. He was in the navy!”
“But I haven’t done anything,” Richie complained.
“Great!” said Kirk. “You’ll get a prize and you don’t have to do the work. Trust me, we’ll win.”
I guess Richie couldn’t think of anything else to say, but he sure looked miserable. Kirk didn’t seem to notice.
“Hey, where do fish sleep?” he suddenly asked.
Richie just stared at Kirk.
“In a water bed !” Kirk chuckled. Richie didn’t.
Gail didn’t look any happier than Richie. Heidi was out sick with a bad cold, so Gail had to work alone. And her mother, who was so encouraging to the other students, continued to insist that she decorate the sail.
“Why can’t it be white?” Gail asked.
“That’s so unimaginative,” Mrs. Morgenstern replied. “Remember how you resisted changing your room? Now you love your golden walls, don’t you?”
“Yes, but that’s different,” Gail answered quietly.
So Gail continued to spend her time working on the hull of the boat. I think she was delaying the time when she had to decorate the sail (or upset her mom if she didn’t).
I felt sorry for Richie and Gail, but at least they’d have the chance to sail on Potter’s Pond and have a picnic with treasure, while I’d just sit in Room 26 with no one to talk to but a twangy old frog. I know, Og’s a nice guy and I wasn’t
“Looks like he’s a born sailor,” Mr. Brisbane observed. Now there’s a smart man!
“Don’t be ridiculous,” his wife said. “I wouldn’t let Humphrey get within sight of the water.”
What an unsqueakable thing to say!
“Why?” Mr. Brisbane asked.
“WHY-WHY-WHY?” I asked, too.
“Because hamsters must never get wet,” Mrs. Brisbane explained. “They catch chills easily and get sick or even die. Plus water removes the good oils in a hamster’s fur. You really should read up on hamsters the way I have, Bert.”
My heart sank to the bottom of my paws. This was worse news than anything Mrs. Wright ever said.
“Guess you’re not going to Potter’s Pond, my friend,” Mr. Brisbane told me.
I felt like I was spinning without my wheel. I felt sick with disappointment. I felt just about as bad as I did when Ms. Mac left and broke my hamster heart.
“No way,” Mrs. Brisbane agreed. “Besides, the poor thing would be terrified.”
A lot she knew! She had no idea of the fur-raising adventures I’d had. And I’d hardly ever been terrified, except by large and unfriendly animals, like Miranda’s dog, Clem.
Mr. Brisbane put me back in my cage.
“Sorry, Humphrey,” he said.
“You think you’re sorry,” I squeaked. “I’m about the sorriest creature in the world.”
They laughed at my squeaking, which hurt my feelings, but I forgave them.
They’re only humans, after all.
A landlubber’s life is a sorry one, me hearties. I pity the poor wretch who’s never known life on the briny deep!
From JOLLY ROGER’S GUIDE TO LIFE,
by I.C. Waters
8
Batten Down the Hatches
O nce I was back in Room 26, I spent a lot of time in my sleeping hut, trying hard not to think about boats. Every once in a while, though, I couldn’t resist checking up on my friends’ progress.
With Mr. Brisbane’s advice and help, holes were drilled, keels were attached, boats were sanded and painted and sails were raised. He seemed especially pleased with the progress Kirk and Richie were making with their tall ship. “Just make sure that those sails don’t weigh the boat down,” he told them.
“I’m going to test it at home tonight,” Kirk said.
After Mr. Brisbane moved on, Richie turned to Kirk. “Maybe I could test it at home.”
“Have you ever sailed a model boat before?” asked Kirk.
Richie admitted that he hadn’t. “But I can tell if it sails or sinks.”
“Look, I’ve done this before with my dad,” Kirk explained. “He knows all about boats. He was in the navy!”
“But I haven’t done anything,” Richie complained.
“Great!” said Kirk. “You’ll get a prize and you don’t have to do the work. Trust me, we’ll win.”
I guess Richie couldn’t think of anything else to say, but he sure looked miserable. Kirk didn’t seem to notice.
“Hey, where do fish sleep?” he suddenly asked.
Richie just stared at Kirk.
“In a water bed !” Kirk chuckled. Richie didn’t.
Gail didn’t look any happier than Richie. Heidi was out sick with a bad cold, so Gail had to work alone. And her mother, who was so encouraging to the other students, continued to insist that she decorate the sail.
“Why can’t it be white?” Gail asked.
“That’s so unimaginative,” Mrs. Morgenstern replied. “Remember how you resisted changing your room? Now you love your golden walls, don’t you?”
“Yes, but that’s different,” Gail answered quietly.
So Gail continued to spend her time working on the hull of the boat. I think she was delaying the time when she had to decorate the sail (or upset her mom if she didn’t).
I felt sorry for Richie and Gail, but at least they’d have the chance to sail on Potter’s Pond and have a picnic with treasure, while I’d just sit in Room 26 with no one to talk to but a twangy old frog. I know, Og’s a nice guy and I wasn’t
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