After the Armistice Ball by Catriona McPherson

and had to give up.
    ‘This is serious, Dan, please!’ said Daisy.
    ‘Yes, very well,’ I said. ‘Only wait until you hear it. It’s hard to remember it’s supposed to be serious. She heard an intruder, thought it was the maid, glanced at her watch and saw that it was five o’clock.’ I waited, but Daisy said nothing. ‘Glanced at her watch at five o’clock in the morning in November with no lights on, darling? I think not. Anyway she got up and put on the light. She heard a thief running along the corridor, saw that her jewel cases had been tampered with, didn’t tell anyone, didn’t raise the alarm, didn’t mention it to her husband and didn’t get the jewels looked at until months had passed. Twaddle!’
    ‘What did she mean, “tampered with”? Did she mean they were open?’
    ‘No, I don’t think so. Just scraped and bent out of shape. As though someone had been at them with a knife. It was this scraping that woke her up, she said. As to why the cases were in her room instead of back in the safe? Her maid was ill, if you please, and she didn’t trust anyone else. This must be some maid, if she’s so much more to be trusted than any number of burly footmen. How do you always manage to get such burly footmen, Daisy, anyway?’ Daisy did not answer and we walked on for a while, heads bent, until she stopped and ground the end of her cigarette under her heel.
    ‘That’s rather awkward,’ she said. ‘The bit about the knife, I mean. Silas and I have been over and over that night as you can imagine, trying to think of anything out of the ordinary, and there is the thing about the knife.’ She lit another cigarette and talked with her head down. ‘A day or so after the ball, one of the tweenies produced an oyster knife and tried to give it to a footman to give back to the butler. Of course, all of the upper servants immediately decided this poor thing had stolen it and then lost her nerve, but she maintained and continued to maintain under all the glowering of butler and cook combined – and they should have had us begging for mercy, Dan, I can tell you – she would not budge from the story that she found the knife down the back of the dressing table in a bedroom while she was dusting. Lena’s bedroom, before you ask.’
    ‘Oh Daisy, really!’ I said, almost cross. ‘What is wrong with everyone? We had oysters that night, didn’t we? Very delicious they were too, even though treacherous Hugh dared to blame them for the state of his head the next morning – such ingratitude – so Lena could easily have put one in her bag and dropped it herself. She probably did over her locks with it too. All to add a little verisimilitude to her story.’
    ‘Do you think?’
    ‘Of course! What do you think? A thief comes to steal jewels that no one has any reason to believe won’t be in the safe, comes without a knife, breaks into the butler’s pantry to get one, scrapes away at the locks right by the bed of the slumbering owner instead of just stealing the cases . . . I can hardly be bothered to finish it, it’s so feeble. I say, I don’t suppose anyone will remember whether she really did keep her jewels in her room that night? Or whether her maid really was ill?’
    ‘I can check,’ said Daisy, ‘but surely she wouldn’t just make all that up?’
    ‘That is just my point,’ I said. ‘The whole tale is so silly and so half-hearted one can scarcely believe she thinks it will work. And actually – Hah!’
    ‘What?’ said Daisy, stamping out another cigarette and looking at me excitedly.
    ‘Oh, the cheek of the woman. There’s something else. She as much as told me last night that, even if the proof of the so-called theft wasn’t all it should be, she knew something else that Silas would much rather she didn’t. So you see, it’s nothing to do with the silly jewels being stolen here, and she knows it and doesn’t care if we guess as much. It’s not reparation or compensation or anything