AINTRIGHT: AN IDIOT WITH A GUN by DL Greenlee Page A

trying to find her water
bottle that had been thrown from the cup holder.
     
    Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Gravel being
flung against the underside of the RV warned him they were headed
for the bar ditch. The wheel jerked in his hand. Digging her
fingernails into the armrests of the leather captain’s chair she
sank down into the seat. Looking back at the road he lifted his
foot off the gas pedal and gently guided the vehicle onto the
pavement, then wasted no time in regaining speed.
     
    “Idiot. It’s a miracle you haven’t killed
us,” she said relaxing her grip.
    “You know what they say about God taking
care of idiots.”
    “What worries me is they say nothing about
God taking care of those that have to ride with them.”
    “Ha, very funny...mercy, speakin' a God,
look at those mountains.”
    “Seriously? Why don’t you try looking at the
road, I’ll look at the mountains.”
     
    It was as she had imagined. The orange light
of a late September sunset captured the peaks of the Guadalupe
Mountains in a fiery spotlight, while the salt flats of the
Chihuahuan Desert glowed white in their shadows.
     
    “I can’t wait to see the fall colors of the
maple trees in the mountains,” she said.
    “Yep, pretty unusual sight in Texas. But ya
know what ain’t unusual in Texas? Me bein’ hungry.”
    “Is food all you think about?”
    “No ma’am,” he said with a wink, “it’s not
all I think about.”
    “You might as well just keep thinking about
food.”
    “Food it is. Soon as we get the Command
Center set up at the Aintright RV Park, I’m breaking out that
leftover Mexican we got at the Little Diner in Cornutillo. I’m sure
he’ll be able to find work around here.”
    “That is not funny,” she grumbled.
    “Don't take everything so dadgum serious
babe.”
    “I don’t take everything serious. But you
shouldn’t just blurt out whatever pops into your head, you might
really offend someone, or in your case a bunch of someones.”
    “I'd hafta' completely stop talking. More’n
half the country is either a crybaby or just lookin' for somethin'
to be mad about.”
    She leaned against the headrest and let her
eyes shut. “I agree with you...you should stop talking.”
    “Don't get too comfortable, we're nearly
there.”
     
    He reached behind his head and grabbed the
top of his seat with both hands, stretching and making his left
shoulder pop. Sighing, he grabbed the steering wheel and turned his
head from side to side. Cracking his neck he stared down the quiet
Texas road, flipped on the headlights and yawned. Ten minutes later
he was wide awake.
     
    “Open those pretty blue eyes, we're here,”
he said.
    “Yes we are,” she said,
opening her eyes and leaning forward. “ Here on the road in the RV. See I
can joke.”
    “Uh, Okay, but no. To quote our fellow
Texan, Bill Engvall, ‘here’s our sign.’ Aintright, Texas,
population 413.”
    “I should never have given you that
DVD.”
    “We can watch it again as soon as we find
the RV park.”
    “Yay,” she said mockingly. “Give me the
address of the park; I’ll put it in the GPS.”
    “No, no, no,” he said. “I’m not about to let
Her Majesty loose again. From here on out we get where we’re goin’
with good ol’ American know how….besides I didn’t get an
address.”
    “Didn’t get an address?”
    “Nope, but I did get directions. That's good
enough in a town this size.”
    “What are the directions?”
    “Look for the Aintright ISD and school
building”?
    “That was it?”
    “Pretty much. There'll be a marquee that
said-”
    “Aintright School.”
    “No, though yeah, prob'ly there is. It'll
read Cougar Country, Aintright ISD.”
    “I meant the Aintright School is right in
front of us. You don't see that?” she said impatiently, then shook
her head. “It's a wonder you never got shot.”
    “Too quick to kill baby.”
    “Just slow down and look for the RV
Park.”
    “Aintright RV Park right there,” he