moved her finger across the screen. The light gave her a demonic kind of look and I half-expected her to start telling us a campfire story at any moment.
“Just take a seat and I’ll get the video up and running.”
It was like a tiny theater, except it was white and outfitted with rows of ergonomic chairs. At the far end of the room, a white rectangle filled most of the space on the wall.
Jackie plopped down in the middle of the back row and propped her feet on the back of the seat in front of her. “I don’t care how horrible this video is. It’ll be the best thing I’ve seen in two years. Fire it up, Lola.”
Mark and I sat next to each other at the end of the back row. It seemed stupid, but I imagined us going to a real movie theater and watching some rom-com or action movie. I’d never been on a real date. I rested my hand on the armrest and he reached over and put his arm over my shoulder. I leaned in to him, not caring if the armrest dug into my ribs.
The door closed, plunging the room into total darkness except for the light coming from Lola’s tablet. I plucked my cell phone out and looked at the glowing screen.
“No cell phones, please. They don’t work in here anyway. The introduction video is about to start.” Lola’s pointer finger tapped the screen.
The white wall at the end of the room lit up with the image of a man sitting behind a black desk.
“Hello, new students, and welcome to Alchemist Academy,” the man said.
He glanced down at something on his desk, giving me a good look at his black hair, streaked with grey. His soft eyes looked back into the camera.
“I know your time here will be enjoyable and memorable. One of the ways we ensure it is a pleasurable experience”—Jackie snickered—“starts with the rules. First, we must respect all other students. We will not tolerate slander or bullying. Second, no yelling. We want to keep a peaceful place for all to enjoy. Noise can be a nasty pollutant, so please don’t pollute. Third, intimate interaction is encouraged, but intercourse is not.”
He cleared his throat and looked at something on his desk.
“Fourth, love the people around you. You may not fully appreciate how the world has a plan for you, but be happy in the knowledge that you are on the right path toward discovery. You see, positive emotions allow us to create our very best work. Lastly, there is a mandatory one-year residency for all students. This is non-negotiable.”
A big smile took over his face. “So, please, enjoy your time here and fill your vessel with all the experiences you can. As always, be kind and find kindness. Thank you.”
The screen turned black and I sat in the dark trying to absorb the creepy video we had just witnessed. The lights in the room lit up. I rubbed my eyes and adjusted to the brightness.
“What the hell? We can’t leave this place either?” Jackie said.
“We have found that when people stay here for a minimum of one year, they have a much higher success rate,” Lola said. “There is a great desire to learn a little bit of stone work and then take it carelessly into the world. We have the potential to make incredible things and how we choose to harness that power is the greatest challenge any alchemist will be dealt. We need the time to teach you about that challenge. You need to find the love in the world and in yourself.”
Mark raised both eyebrows and slapped his hands on his legs as he stood. “Well, let’s go find the love. ”
I got up and chuckled, walking out of the aisle. What kind of academy was this? I mean, there hadn’t been even one mention of stone-making in that strange orientation video.
“There are a few more things.” Lola picked up a small stack of tablets and passed them out. “You each will receive a tablet to use while you are here. Please take care of them.”
I had broken one of these once and held mine with kid gloves. I touched the glass surface and it lit up to a white
“Just take a seat and I’ll get the video up and running.”
It was like a tiny theater, except it was white and outfitted with rows of ergonomic chairs. At the far end of the room, a white rectangle filled most of the space on the wall.
Jackie plopped down in the middle of the back row and propped her feet on the back of the seat in front of her. “I don’t care how horrible this video is. It’ll be the best thing I’ve seen in two years. Fire it up, Lola.”
Mark and I sat next to each other at the end of the back row. It seemed stupid, but I imagined us going to a real movie theater and watching some rom-com or action movie. I’d never been on a real date. I rested my hand on the armrest and he reached over and put his arm over my shoulder. I leaned in to him, not caring if the armrest dug into my ribs.
The door closed, plunging the room into total darkness except for the light coming from Lola’s tablet. I plucked my cell phone out and looked at the glowing screen.
“No cell phones, please. They don’t work in here anyway. The introduction video is about to start.” Lola’s pointer finger tapped the screen.
The white wall at the end of the room lit up with the image of a man sitting behind a black desk.
“Hello, new students, and welcome to Alchemist Academy,” the man said.
He glanced down at something on his desk, giving me a good look at his black hair, streaked with grey. His soft eyes looked back into the camera.
“I know your time here will be enjoyable and memorable. One of the ways we ensure it is a pleasurable experience”—Jackie snickered—“starts with the rules. First, we must respect all other students. We will not tolerate slander or bullying. Second, no yelling. We want to keep a peaceful place for all to enjoy. Noise can be a nasty pollutant, so please don’t pollute. Third, intimate interaction is encouraged, but intercourse is not.”
He cleared his throat and looked at something on his desk.
“Fourth, love the people around you. You may not fully appreciate how the world has a plan for you, but be happy in the knowledge that you are on the right path toward discovery. You see, positive emotions allow us to create our very best work. Lastly, there is a mandatory one-year residency for all students. This is non-negotiable.”
A big smile took over his face. “So, please, enjoy your time here and fill your vessel with all the experiences you can. As always, be kind and find kindness. Thank you.”
The screen turned black and I sat in the dark trying to absorb the creepy video we had just witnessed. The lights in the room lit up. I rubbed my eyes and adjusted to the brightness.
“What the hell? We can’t leave this place either?” Jackie said.
“We have found that when people stay here for a minimum of one year, they have a much higher success rate,” Lola said. “There is a great desire to learn a little bit of stone work and then take it carelessly into the world. We have the potential to make incredible things and how we choose to harness that power is the greatest challenge any alchemist will be dealt. We need the time to teach you about that challenge. You need to find the love in the world and in yourself.”
Mark raised both eyebrows and slapped his hands on his legs as he stood. “Well, let’s go find the love. ”
I got up and chuckled, walking out of the aisle. What kind of academy was this? I mean, there hadn’t been even one mention of stone-making in that strange orientation video.
“There are a few more things.” Lola picked up a small stack of tablets and passed them out. “You each will receive a tablet to use while you are here. Please take care of them.”
I had broken one of these once and held mine with kid gloves. I touched the glass surface and it lit up to a white
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