slowly being replaced by Willard’s tables.
Great bales of papers piled up, collecting dust. They grew greasy and black from handling, and Henry grew greasy and black from handling them. He washed and brushed his teeth often, but one cannot hold in the heart what is not bred in the bone: he stank.
Bob and Rod organised a clean-up campaign. They collected all the dirty forms in the office and laundered them. Karl was so pleased with their efforts that he even permitted them to sew patches on worn-out forms, though common practice did not permit this. Even so, after the windows came out, they could not keep up with the dirt.
No one but Henry and Ed and Eddie were working full-time on clerical duties. Clark was reading law fulltime now, and Masterson had come to approve this. ‘You never can tell when you’ll need a good mouthpiece,’ he said, and began calling Clark ‘the mouthpiece’. The mouthpiece never spoke to anyone.
Harold was making charts of the company and of Mr. Masterson full time. They overflowed the walls of his office and began to cover the corridor.
There was a chart showing the chain of command and another showing the flow of work. There was a chart showing weight of forms handled per clerk per day; a chart showing all the muscles of Mr.Masterson’s body (with the Latin labels lettered by Harold in half-uncials); a chart of company work-output vs. world population, and a fishing map of Northern Minnesota, which Mr. Masterson planned to visit some day. There was a graph showing the monthly number of accidents, fatal, and accidents, non-fatal, per clerk.
Karl’s job included researching the data for all of these. He counted paper clips, measured the level of water in the cooler, taped Mr. Masterson’s biceps, weighed forms, and estimated the world population. His estimates, Harold chuckled, were not conservative enough.
But Masterson pointed out how efficient Karl was. Who else would have realized the wasteful duplication in using both pink and blue copies of the same form? Karl had purchased a new single form printed on litmus paper, which was either blue or pink, depending on the weather. Ed seemed to grow a beard, which had the appearance of frightening Masterson. Clark wore rimless glasses..
The janitor service was cut off because the rent had not been paid. Karl had estimated the company could survive one year without it, saving several thousand dollars.
On the stage of a nearby theatre, two girls, one dressed as a man, were singing a song about making little gifts. One of the girls was sincere, but it was never clear which. Bob and Rod explained to the boss his father had sabotaged the janitor service.
‘He sees what a good thing the company is getting to be,’ one of them said. ‘He wants to muscle in on you.’
‘Well, I’m ready for him,’ said Masterson. ‘Let him try something.’ Grinning, he flexed his forearm and watched the sinew lumps move in it as characters move about on a stage. Rod and Bob, or as they preferred being called, Dob and Rob, began doing janitor work around the office. They refused service to anyone who would not contribute to their list of charities: CORE, CARE, KKK, CCC, the Better Business Bureau, AAA and Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing Company. Only Harold did not give.
They cornered him one day. ‘What’s the matter? Don’t you care that millions of Asians are starving while you sit here well-fed and complacent?’ Harold did not deign to reply, or perhaps had not the strength. His skeletal face showed odd emotions, but he did not look up from his chart. Steadying a hunger-quaking hand, he went on with his beautiful, flowing uncials.
Living on the scraps of other clerks’ lunches, and on the crumbs of cream cheese in Clark’s law books, Harold was under a hundred pounds. He gulped water from the cooler, until Karl stopped him, saying that it ruined the line on the water-consumption estimates.
Once Harold fainted, and Mr. Masterson revived
Great bales of papers piled up, collecting dust. They grew greasy and black from handling, and Henry grew greasy and black from handling them. He washed and brushed his teeth often, but one cannot hold in the heart what is not bred in the bone: he stank.
Bob and Rod organised a clean-up campaign. They collected all the dirty forms in the office and laundered them. Karl was so pleased with their efforts that he even permitted them to sew patches on worn-out forms, though common practice did not permit this. Even so, after the windows came out, they could not keep up with the dirt.
No one but Henry and Ed and Eddie were working full-time on clerical duties. Clark was reading law fulltime now, and Masterson had come to approve this. ‘You never can tell when you’ll need a good mouthpiece,’ he said, and began calling Clark ‘the mouthpiece’. The mouthpiece never spoke to anyone.
Harold was making charts of the company and of Mr. Masterson full time. They overflowed the walls of his office and began to cover the corridor.
There was a chart showing the chain of command and another showing the flow of work. There was a chart showing weight of forms handled per clerk per day; a chart showing all the muscles of Mr.Masterson’s body (with the Latin labels lettered by Harold in half-uncials); a chart of company work-output vs. world population, and a fishing map of Northern Minnesota, which Mr. Masterson planned to visit some day. There was a graph showing the monthly number of accidents, fatal, and accidents, non-fatal, per clerk.
Karl’s job included researching the data for all of these. He counted paper clips, measured the level of water in the cooler, taped Mr. Masterson’s biceps, weighed forms, and estimated the world population. His estimates, Harold chuckled, were not conservative enough.
But Masterson pointed out how efficient Karl was. Who else would have realized the wasteful duplication in using both pink and blue copies of the same form? Karl had purchased a new single form printed on litmus paper, which was either blue or pink, depending on the weather. Ed seemed to grow a beard, which had the appearance of frightening Masterson. Clark wore rimless glasses..
The janitor service was cut off because the rent had not been paid. Karl had estimated the company could survive one year without it, saving several thousand dollars.
On the stage of a nearby theatre, two girls, one dressed as a man, were singing a song about making little gifts. One of the girls was sincere, but it was never clear which. Bob and Rod explained to the boss his father had sabotaged the janitor service.
‘He sees what a good thing the company is getting to be,’ one of them said. ‘He wants to muscle in on you.’
‘Well, I’m ready for him,’ said Masterson. ‘Let him try something.’ Grinning, he flexed his forearm and watched the sinew lumps move in it as characters move about on a stage. Rod and Bob, or as they preferred being called, Dob and Rob, began doing janitor work around the office. They refused service to anyone who would not contribute to their list of charities: CORE, CARE, KKK, CCC, the Better Business Bureau, AAA and Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing Company. Only Harold did not give.
They cornered him one day. ‘What’s the matter? Don’t you care that millions of Asians are starving while you sit here well-fed and complacent?’ Harold did not deign to reply, or perhaps had not the strength. His skeletal face showed odd emotions, but he did not look up from his chart. Steadying a hunger-quaking hand, he went on with his beautiful, flowing uncials.
Living on the scraps of other clerks’ lunches, and on the crumbs of cream cheese in Clark’s law books, Harold was under a hundred pounds. He gulped water from the cooler, until Karl stopped him, saying that it ruined the line on the water-consumption estimates.
Once Harold fainted, and Mr. Masterson revived
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