at Jack blackly from the other side of the table. Jack looks away,
seemingly nonplussed, though I’m guessing he’s anything but.
‘Are you cool with me crashing on your floor?’ I ask, looking at Libby, Lou, Natalie and Em in turn. I don’t care whose room I sleep in, I’m just trying to break this
awkward silence.
They all gush that of course it’s absolutely fine, and there are two double beds in Libby and Lou’s room, and I can have one of them, and I’m barely even listening because
Tom’s jaw is twitching and his hands have flexed into fists on the table.
Jack abruptly gets to his feet and walks down the length of the bus to talk to the driver. A few moments later, the bus slows to a stop.
‘See you guys in a bit,’ I say apprehensively. The doors whoosh open and I follow Jack off.
He looks livid as he points his key at his dark-grey Audi A3. The lights flash as the doors unlock and he opens the door for me, standing back to let me climb inside. He slams the door behind me
and I flinch as he goes round to his door. The bus hasn’t set off yet, and I’m all too aware that my friends may be watching.
Jack keeps his eyes forward as he starts up the ignition and pulls away from the kerb.
‘That was fun,’ he mutters sarcastically.
‘You should’ve let me go with them, then,’ I state with annoyance.
‘Just tell me one thing,’ he says forcefully, glancing at me. ‘Should I be worried about Tom?’
‘No!’ I exclaim, shocked. How could someone as cool and confident as Jack feel threatened?
‘Because if I was going out with someone who screwed me over, I sure as hell wouldn’t fly across the Atlantic at her beck and call.’
‘Well, that’s just it, isn’t it?’ I snap. ‘You’ve never had a proper relationship with anyone, so how the hell would you know what lengths you’d go to
for someone you really cared about? And he
does
care for me, Jack! We were friends first, and he knows how hard today was going to be for me. My mum died a year, a year—’ My
voice breaks and my throat swells and suddenly I can’t finish my sentence.
He roughly shoves his hair back from his face in frustration as he senses where this is going. ‘I’m sorry,’ he mutters, but it’s too late. I let out a sob. ‘Oh,
God,’ he murmurs, his anger evaporating as he places his hand on my knee and I proceed to cry my heart out. He pulls over to the side of the road and wrenches his handbrake on, then turns and
takes me in his arms, stroking my hair as I snot all over his black shirt.
A little voice inside me wonders if this is putting him off, if this is too heavy for him, but another voice shouts over it that if it is, so be it.
This is me. This is part of who I am.
‘My dad’s going to go ape-shit if you don’t follow the bus,’ I mumble eventually, my voice muffled against his shoulder.
He reluctantly lets me go and starts the car.
I dry my eyes and blow my nose on a tissue from my overnight bag and then cast him a long look as he takes off down the winding hill. He still seems very apprehensive, but he’s no longer
mad.
‘Do you wanna talk about it?’ he asks carefully after a while.
‘What, my mum?’
‘Yeah.’ He swallows. ‘You’ve never really talked about her. How did she…’
‘Die?’
He nods, his expression tense.
‘She went out to buy my birthday cake and the glass from a fourth-storey window fell onto the pavement where she was walking.’
‘Jesus.’ He exhales heavily.
I want to tell him about the cake, that Mum had saved up to get it from a more expensive shop than we could usually afford, but Jack comes from a wealthy rock-star family himself, so I doubt
he’d understand what it meant to me. His dad, Billy Mitchell, was the lead singer of Casino Girl, so Jack has more in common with Jessie Jefferson, my new self, than with Jessie Pickerill and
my past.
Jack takes my hand and brings it to rest on his thigh as he drives, giving it a squeeze before
seemingly nonplussed, though I’m guessing he’s anything but.
‘Are you cool with me crashing on your floor?’ I ask, looking at Libby, Lou, Natalie and Em in turn. I don’t care whose room I sleep in, I’m just trying to break this
awkward silence.
They all gush that of course it’s absolutely fine, and there are two double beds in Libby and Lou’s room, and I can have one of them, and I’m barely even listening because
Tom’s jaw is twitching and his hands have flexed into fists on the table.
Jack abruptly gets to his feet and walks down the length of the bus to talk to the driver. A few moments later, the bus slows to a stop.
‘See you guys in a bit,’ I say apprehensively. The doors whoosh open and I follow Jack off.
He looks livid as he points his key at his dark-grey Audi A3. The lights flash as the doors unlock and he opens the door for me, standing back to let me climb inside. He slams the door behind me
and I flinch as he goes round to his door. The bus hasn’t set off yet, and I’m all too aware that my friends may be watching.
Jack keeps his eyes forward as he starts up the ignition and pulls away from the kerb.
‘That was fun,’ he mutters sarcastically.
‘You should’ve let me go with them, then,’ I state with annoyance.
‘Just tell me one thing,’ he says forcefully, glancing at me. ‘Should I be worried about Tom?’
‘No!’ I exclaim, shocked. How could someone as cool and confident as Jack feel threatened?
‘Because if I was going out with someone who screwed me over, I sure as hell wouldn’t fly across the Atlantic at her beck and call.’
‘Well, that’s just it, isn’t it?’ I snap. ‘You’ve never had a proper relationship with anyone, so how the hell would you know what lengths you’d go to
for someone you really cared about? And he
does
care for me, Jack! We were friends first, and he knows how hard today was going to be for me. My mum died a year, a year—’ My
voice breaks and my throat swells and suddenly I can’t finish my sentence.
He roughly shoves his hair back from his face in frustration as he senses where this is going. ‘I’m sorry,’ he mutters, but it’s too late. I let out a sob. ‘Oh,
God,’ he murmurs, his anger evaporating as he places his hand on my knee and I proceed to cry my heart out. He pulls over to the side of the road and wrenches his handbrake on, then turns and
takes me in his arms, stroking my hair as I snot all over his black shirt.
A little voice inside me wonders if this is putting him off, if this is too heavy for him, but another voice shouts over it that if it is, so be it.
This is me. This is part of who I am.
‘My dad’s going to go ape-shit if you don’t follow the bus,’ I mumble eventually, my voice muffled against his shoulder.
He reluctantly lets me go and starts the car.
I dry my eyes and blow my nose on a tissue from my overnight bag and then cast him a long look as he takes off down the winding hill. He still seems very apprehensive, but he’s no longer
mad.
‘Do you wanna talk about it?’ he asks carefully after a while.
‘What, my mum?’
‘Yeah.’ He swallows. ‘You’ve never really talked about her. How did she…’
‘Die?’
He nods, his expression tense.
‘She went out to buy my birthday cake and the glass from a fourth-storey window fell onto the pavement where she was walking.’
‘Jesus.’ He exhales heavily.
I want to tell him about the cake, that Mum had saved up to get it from a more expensive shop than we could usually afford, but Jack comes from a wealthy rock-star family himself, so I doubt
he’d understand what it meant to me. His dad, Billy Mitchell, was the lead singer of Casino Girl, so Jack has more in common with Jessie Jefferson, my new self, than with Jessie Pickerill and
my past.
Jack takes my hand and brings it to rest on his thigh as he drives, giving it a squeeze before
Similar Books
