than me,” I said.
“Allow me to rephrase. I don’t want just any friend. I’d like you to be my friend.”
“Why?” I’ve been extra rude to him all week and he just keeps coming back for more.
“I’ve told you already. You interest me.”
I crossed my arms. I wanted to say something rude to him. I wanted him gone from my life just as quick as he came into it. But I settled for leaving. I went straight to Jay and sat next to her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked the second she saw my face. Hale was approaching us and I needed him to stay away.
“Make him leave me alone,” I said as I fought off tears.
“What? Why?”
“Please?” I looked into her eyes. “Just make him go away.” She was fuzzy as I looked at her through forming tears.
I heard Hale coming and I closed my eyes so he wouldn’t see me crying.
“Rory,” he said. “Please, I don’t know why you—”
“Hale,” Jay said. “Sweetheart, she needs a few minutes. Can you go pick and activity please?”
I didn’t hear him make a move to leave. “Aurora,” I felt his hand on my face. I shut my eyes tighter. “I’m truly sorry for whatever makes you think you’re unworthy of having people in your life. But I promise you that whatever it is, it doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” I whispered.
“Hale,” Jay said in a warning tone. His hand moved away from me and I heard his footsteps as he moved away. I opened my eyes to see him leaving the gym. “Guess his activity was going home.”
I sat there and tried to breath through my panic attack. “I don’t know what to do,” I said, breathy.
“What do you mean?”
“Him,” I said harshly. “He won’t leave me alone. I keep asking and he just keeps talking to me. He wants to spend time with me, he says.”
She sighed and eyed me like I was stupid. “Sounds like he wants to be your friend.”
“He does.”
“Okay…so?”
“I don’t need to tell you why I chose what I chose in that regard. I can’t handle loss like my mom can. And I don’t want to deal with it.”
She set her book down and turned to me. “That’s life. You love and you lose. Everybody loses people and you can’t choose to not live just because it’s easier.”
“So I’m just supposed to make friends and love them, then watch them die on me?”
“Yes,” she said like it was obvious. “Everybody deals with that. Not just immortals.”
“Well I don’t want to deal with it. I want it to go away so everything can go back to normal.”
“You can’t just reject life because it doesn’t suit you. Hadley is immortal too. She has friends. She loves people. So does your mother.”
“Yeah. Mom’s loved a lot of people. Most of which are dead now. And she got to watch them die. Lose them and get left behind, never to see them again.”
“Pain is part of being alive, Aurora. You’d really rather miss out on all of the amazing stuff life has to offer, just to spare you pain later?
“That kind of pain? Yes. I’d rather not get the good if it means I don’t get the agony either.”
She looked so frustrated with me. But she just didn’t understand. She’d get to fall in love and grow old with that person. I didn’t get to get old. I was going to age a few more years and be frozen forever.
“Well then that’s what you’ll get. You’ll be alone and you’ll be miserable. You might not feel it now, but you will.”
No. I was fine before and I could be fine again. I already lost my dad. I don’t need a new person making me love them just so I can watch them get old. Weak…sick.
No. It won’t happen again.
Ever.
I left the gym in the middle of class and went to change. I wasn’t in the mood to stay for the rest of class.
I shuffled over to my locker and opened it, grabbed my backpack, and went into a stall. Just in case. I dug inside for my clothes.
And couldn’t find them.
I dug deeper and checked all of the zipper pockets. My shorts, tank top, and boots were all missing.
“Allow me to rephrase. I don’t want just any friend. I’d like you to be my friend.”
“Why?” I’ve been extra rude to him all week and he just keeps coming back for more.
“I’ve told you already. You interest me.”
I crossed my arms. I wanted to say something rude to him. I wanted him gone from my life just as quick as he came into it. But I settled for leaving. I went straight to Jay and sat next to her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked the second she saw my face. Hale was approaching us and I needed him to stay away.
“Make him leave me alone,” I said as I fought off tears.
“What? Why?”
“Please?” I looked into her eyes. “Just make him go away.” She was fuzzy as I looked at her through forming tears.
I heard Hale coming and I closed my eyes so he wouldn’t see me crying.
“Rory,” he said. “Please, I don’t know why you—”
“Hale,” Jay said. “Sweetheart, she needs a few minutes. Can you go pick and activity please?”
I didn’t hear him make a move to leave. “Aurora,” I felt his hand on my face. I shut my eyes tighter. “I’m truly sorry for whatever makes you think you’re unworthy of having people in your life. But I promise you that whatever it is, it doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” I whispered.
“Hale,” Jay said in a warning tone. His hand moved away from me and I heard his footsteps as he moved away. I opened my eyes to see him leaving the gym. “Guess his activity was going home.”
I sat there and tried to breath through my panic attack. “I don’t know what to do,” I said, breathy.
“What do you mean?”
“Him,” I said harshly. “He won’t leave me alone. I keep asking and he just keeps talking to me. He wants to spend time with me, he says.”
She sighed and eyed me like I was stupid. “Sounds like he wants to be your friend.”
“He does.”
“Okay…so?”
“I don’t need to tell you why I chose what I chose in that regard. I can’t handle loss like my mom can. And I don’t want to deal with it.”
She set her book down and turned to me. “That’s life. You love and you lose. Everybody loses people and you can’t choose to not live just because it’s easier.”
“So I’m just supposed to make friends and love them, then watch them die on me?”
“Yes,” she said like it was obvious. “Everybody deals with that. Not just immortals.”
“Well I don’t want to deal with it. I want it to go away so everything can go back to normal.”
“You can’t just reject life because it doesn’t suit you. Hadley is immortal too. She has friends. She loves people. So does your mother.”
“Yeah. Mom’s loved a lot of people. Most of which are dead now. And she got to watch them die. Lose them and get left behind, never to see them again.”
“Pain is part of being alive, Aurora. You’d really rather miss out on all of the amazing stuff life has to offer, just to spare you pain later?
“That kind of pain? Yes. I’d rather not get the good if it means I don’t get the agony either.”
She looked so frustrated with me. But she just didn’t understand. She’d get to fall in love and grow old with that person. I didn’t get to get old. I was going to age a few more years and be frozen forever.
“Well then that’s what you’ll get. You’ll be alone and you’ll be miserable. You might not feel it now, but you will.”
No. I was fine before and I could be fine again. I already lost my dad. I don’t need a new person making me love them just so I can watch them get old. Weak…sick.
No. It won’t happen again.
Ever.
I left the gym in the middle of class and went to change. I wasn’t in the mood to stay for the rest of class.
I shuffled over to my locker and opened it, grabbed my backpack, and went into a stall. Just in case. I dug inside for my clothes.
And couldn’t find them.
I dug deeper and checked all of the zipper pockets. My shorts, tank top, and boots were all missing.
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