untangle my fingers. âWhat are weââ
But Abeâs look unsettles me. His eyes are dark and intrigued, like Iâve swallowed a secret and he wants to unfold it.
âSeeing is believing, you say?â Lilith says, fluttering her lashes at Mark. She ignores what I said and twirls me into a wooded nook.
âLilith! What are youâ?â
âJust play along!â she coos in my ear, and the boys fill up the space behind us. The whites in their eyes go wide and I canât look at Abe. Iâm too embarrassed with Lilith mussing up my hair. Maybe he knows Iâd rather her hands were his.
âCome on, Marion,â Mark says. âAdmit it. Youâve never kissed Lilith before.â
My mouth is dry, but a hot pulse shoots through me from the eagerness in his voice. And I donât know if itâs the safety that Lilithâs a girl or the power to tease him that makes me brave.
âOh?â I say, and the fact that itâs true makes it easier to say. âI wouldnât be so sure about that. You want me to lie to you?â
The boys whoop and Lilith cackles, rubbing her thumb against my ear in approval. But itâs the anticipation in the boysâ eyes, pooled wet in their pupils, that makes me feel powerful.
âYou want a show?â Lilith asks, and I almost tell her to stop. But itâs the boysâ eyesâ Abeâs eyesâ on us, that flood me with heat, down to my stomach and below. I nuzzle my face in Lilithâs neck and she purrs, pulling me closer as the air cinches tight.
One of the boys whistles and I hope it isnât Abe. I donât know if I like the idea that heâs into this, even though it makes my skin prickle. Lilith laughs, and her neck smells of peppermint.
âYouâre just a tease,â Mark says, but Lilith lifts my chin.
Our eyes meet and her breath is soft as she strokes my neck. She hesitates, perhaps wondering if Iâm okay with thisâbut then her mouth is on mine. Lips blooming. Sheâs gotten better at this. Much better.
Whistles flood my ears, singing fiercely and pushing us together. I shiver, like Iâm being unfolded and donât want it to stop. But itâs not Lilith and the taste of her that excites me.
Itâs them watching. Itâs Abe watching.
Itâs their eyes on our mouths and on our hips pressing one-two and against. Itâs the rush that comes with hearing the whistles and âhell yeahsâ that rocks me, and scares me, and holds me hard against herâ
Wishing I could do this with Abe. Or Kurt. Or anyone. But knowing Iâm only brave enough when itâs Lilith. Knowing her kiss isnât dangerous.
But I want to keep this heat. Want to keep this power, that Lilith can harness with a breath, that makes them pant and want and sweat. I press into Lilith, tasting the sweet of her mouth, knowing this power isnât mine, and that Iâve only temporarily borrowed it. Knowing that soonâ
Soonâ
Soonâ
It will be over. And sheâll take it back again.
*Â Â *Â Â *
Abe is in the hallway outside the locker room waiting for me. I catch him drumming his fingers against the painted cement and staring at the floor.
âHey,â he says as I come out of the girlsâ room, and we share an awkward smile.
âHi,â I say, remembering how he used to wait for me after classes when we were dating. Only Lilithâs behind me, pushing her way through the door. She laughs when she sees Abe waiting.
âWhatâs up, Babe-ra-ham?â she says obnoxiously, squeezing my side and nudging me toward him.
âLilith,â Abe acknowledges dryly, rolling his eyes.
âJust calling it as I see it, Mr. Lincoln,â Lilith quips, but Abe shuffles his feet like he wishes she wasnât here. I nudge her to get the hint and she doesnât have to be told twice.âRight, so, I have play practice,â she
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