All We Left Behind by Ingrid Sundberg Page A

untangle my fingers. “What are we—”
    But Abe’s look unsettles me. His eyes are dark and intrigued, like I’ve swallowed a secret and he wants to unfold it.
    â€œSeeing is believing, you say?” Lilith says, fluttering her lashes at Mark. She ignores what I said and twirls me into a wooded nook.
    â€œLilith! What are you—?”
    â€œJust play along!” she coos in my ear, and the boys fill up the space behind us. The whites in their eyes go wide and I can’t look at Abe. I’m too embarrassed with Lilith mussing up my hair. Maybe he knows I’d rather her hands were his.
    â€œCome on, Marion,” Mark says. “Admit it. You’ve never kissed Lilith before.”
    My mouth is dry, but a hot pulse shoots through me from the eagerness in his voice. And I don’t know if it’s the safety that Lilith’s a girl or the power to tease him that makes me brave.
    â€œOh?” I say, and the fact that it’s true makes it easier to say. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. You want me to lie to you?”
    The boys whoop and Lilith cackles, rubbing her thumb against my ear in approval. But it’s the anticipation in the boys’ eyes, pooled wet in their pupils, that makes me feel powerful.
    â€œYou want a show?” Lilith asks, and I almost tell her to stop. But it’s the boys’ eyes— Abe’s eyes— on us, that flood me with heat, down to my stomach and below. I nuzzle my face in Lilith’s neck and she purrs, pulling me closer as the air cinches tight.
    One of the boys whistles and I hope it isn’t Abe. I don’t know if I like the idea that he’s into this, even though it makes my skin prickle. Lilith laughs, and her neck smells of peppermint.
    â€œYou’re just a tease,” Mark says, but Lilith lifts my chin.
    Our eyes meet and her breath is soft as she strokes my neck. She hesitates, perhaps wondering if I’m okay with this—but then her mouth is on mine. Lips blooming. She’s gotten better at this. Much better.
    Whistles flood my ears, singing fiercely and pushing us together. I shiver, like I’m being unfolded and don’t want it to stop. But it’s not Lilith and the taste of her that excites me.
    It’s them watching. It’s Abe watching.
    It’s their eyes on our mouths and on our hips pressing one-two and against. It’s the rush that comes with hearing the whistles and “hell yeahs” that rocks me, and scares me, and holds me hard against her—
    Wishing I could do this with Abe. Or Kurt. Or anyone. But knowing I’m only brave enough when it’s Lilith. Knowing her kiss isn’t dangerous.
    But I want to keep this heat. Want to keep this power, that Lilith can harness with a breath, that makes them pant and want and sweat. I press into Lilith, tasting the sweet of her mouth, knowing this power isn’t mine, and that I’ve only temporarily borrowed it. Knowing that soon—
    Soon—
    Soon—
    It will be over. And she’ll take it back again.
    *  *  *
    Abe is in the hallway outside the locker room waiting for me. I catch him drumming his fingers against the painted cement and staring at the floor.
    â€œHey,” he says as I come out of the girls’ room, and we share an awkward smile.
    â€œHi,” I say, remembering how he used to wait for me after classes when we were dating. Only Lilith’s behind me, pushing her way through the door. She laughs when she sees Abe waiting.
    â€œWhat’s up, Babe-ra-ham?” she says obnoxiously, squeezing my side and nudging me toward him.
    â€œLilith,” Abe acknowledges dryly, rolling his eyes.
    â€œJust calling it as I see it, Mr. Lincoln,” Lilith quips, but Abe shuffles his feet like he wishes she wasn’t here. I nudge her to get the hint and she doesn’t have to be told twice.“Right, so, I have play practice,” she