Shani asked.
“Out for a walk.”
“Did you go down to the old fort?”
He shook his head. “I walked down the lane and back.”
After breakfast Zane said he thought he’d skip church. Shani started to say something, but her father pursed his lips and she stopped. By the time they left, Zane was in his room and didn’t come down to tell them good-bye.
“He probably needs some time alone,” her dad whispered as he followed her out to the van. Joel sat in the driver’s seat, warming the engine. She knew he’d tell her the same thing.
She had a hard time concentrating on the sermon until the end, when their pastor, in closing, said, “For unto us a child is born, the healer of humanity and of all creation, the prince of peace. This is indeed good news and great joy for all people.”
She bowed her head as the pastor prayed, asking to feel the peace of Christ and the joy of Christmas. Lord, she prayed, I need your peace. I need to trust you with Zane. She didn’t want to feel half crazy the whole time he was gone.
She honestly felt it was easier to have a husband go off to war than a son. Why was that? She sighed. Because Joel talked with her—he Skyped, he e-mailed, he wrote letters.
There was no guarantee Zane would contact them regularly. She felt hollow inside. Who would he confide in if not his parents? She hoped someone.
He’d been close to Daniel, and Simon too, through his growing-up years, but Shani knew it was Lila that Zane used to talk with the most. He hung out with the boys, but in a walk through the field or during a language lesson or a few minutes in their fort, she knew he and Lila shared their feelings more than he ever did with her brothers.
Looking back, Shani realized she should have discouraged it. She was more aware of what was going on than Tim or Joel.Men, generally, didn’t see that sort of thing as much, although she knew Tim feared it at the beginning. Considering how things had turned out, maybe she should have listened to him more carefully then. His fear hadn’t come to fruition. His children hadn’t been impacted that much by Zane after all. Daniel would marry Jenny. Lila would marry Reuben. They’d stay in their church and raise their families. All would be well.
But her child had been hurt—and was still hurting. And now he was going off to war.
The piano began the first few notes of “Joy to the World,” and the congregation stood. Shani resolved to be more understanding of Zane for however long he stayed. She wouldn’t pressure him.
When they arrived home, he was chopping wood. He’d left his phone on the kitchen table and it buzzed a couple of times while Shani fixed lunch.
When Zane came in he checked it and then said, “Charlie asked if he could stop by and give me one last bit of advice.”
Shani couldn’t imagine what Charlie wanted to tell Zane, but she was thankful for his concern.
Zane sighed. “I guess I’ll stay until morning. I’ll get on the road after breakfast.”
Shani nodded in response, just so he knew she’d heard him, and stared straight ahead. Maybe he wouldn’t stay until Christmas—but she was grateful he’d stay until Christmas Eve morning.
It was midafternoon by the time Charlie came by on his way home from work. He rode his bike since Eve had kept the car to go to church.
Zane told Charlie to throw his bike in the back of his truck, and they could talk while Zane gave him a ride home. Shani stood at the window and watched as they loaded the bike and climbed in the cab, and then as Zane backed his truck around and headed up the lane.
“Come sit,” Joel said from the couch. “You’ve been twirling around here for the last week.” Her dad had gone to take a nap, and Adam was playing with Legos on the other side of the tree.
Shani sat beside her husband. Joel reached for her hand and said, “I’m getting a glimpse of what it was like for you when I was gone. I think maybe it’s harder staying behind.”
She shook
“Out for a walk.”
“Did you go down to the old fort?”
He shook his head. “I walked down the lane and back.”
After breakfast Zane said he thought he’d skip church. Shani started to say something, but her father pursed his lips and she stopped. By the time they left, Zane was in his room and didn’t come down to tell them good-bye.
“He probably needs some time alone,” her dad whispered as he followed her out to the van. Joel sat in the driver’s seat, warming the engine. She knew he’d tell her the same thing.
She had a hard time concentrating on the sermon until the end, when their pastor, in closing, said, “For unto us a child is born, the healer of humanity and of all creation, the prince of peace. This is indeed good news and great joy for all people.”
She bowed her head as the pastor prayed, asking to feel the peace of Christ and the joy of Christmas. Lord, she prayed, I need your peace. I need to trust you with Zane. She didn’t want to feel half crazy the whole time he was gone.
She honestly felt it was easier to have a husband go off to war than a son. Why was that? She sighed. Because Joel talked with her—he Skyped, he e-mailed, he wrote letters.
There was no guarantee Zane would contact them regularly. She felt hollow inside. Who would he confide in if not his parents? She hoped someone.
He’d been close to Daniel, and Simon too, through his growing-up years, but Shani knew it was Lila that Zane used to talk with the most. He hung out with the boys, but in a walk through the field or during a language lesson or a few minutes in their fort, she knew he and Lila shared their feelings more than he ever did with her brothers.
Looking back, Shani realized she should have discouraged it. She was more aware of what was going on than Tim or Joel.Men, generally, didn’t see that sort of thing as much, although she knew Tim feared it at the beginning. Considering how things had turned out, maybe she should have listened to him more carefully then. His fear hadn’t come to fruition. His children hadn’t been impacted that much by Zane after all. Daniel would marry Jenny. Lila would marry Reuben. They’d stay in their church and raise their families. All would be well.
But her child had been hurt—and was still hurting. And now he was going off to war.
The piano began the first few notes of “Joy to the World,” and the congregation stood. Shani resolved to be more understanding of Zane for however long he stayed. She wouldn’t pressure him.
When they arrived home, he was chopping wood. He’d left his phone on the kitchen table and it buzzed a couple of times while Shani fixed lunch.
When Zane came in he checked it and then said, “Charlie asked if he could stop by and give me one last bit of advice.”
Shani couldn’t imagine what Charlie wanted to tell Zane, but she was thankful for his concern.
Zane sighed. “I guess I’ll stay until morning. I’ll get on the road after breakfast.”
Shani nodded in response, just so he knew she’d heard him, and stared straight ahead. Maybe he wouldn’t stay until Christmas—but she was grateful he’d stay until Christmas Eve morning.
It was midafternoon by the time Charlie came by on his way home from work. He rode his bike since Eve had kept the car to go to church.
Zane told Charlie to throw his bike in the back of his truck, and they could talk while Zane gave him a ride home. Shani stood at the window and watched as they loaded the bike and climbed in the cab, and then as Zane backed his truck around and headed up the lane.
“Come sit,” Joel said from the couch. “You’ve been twirling around here for the last week.” Her dad had gone to take a nap, and Adam was playing with Legos on the other side of the tree.
Shani sat beside her husband. Joel reached for her hand and said, “I’m getting a glimpse of what it was like for you when I was gone. I think maybe it’s harder staying behind.”
She shook
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