An Affair to Dismember

An Affair to Dismember by Elise Sax

Book: An Affair to Dismember by Elise Sax Read Free Book Online
Authors: Elise Sax
Ads: Link
single,” he said softly. His baritone voice dripped out all velvety soft and yummy.
    It’s amazing how life plays tricks on a person. I was standing two feet away from Mr. Perfect, and I had to match him with someone else. I sighed. It was now or never. I owed it to Grandma. How could I let this guy get away?
    “I know someone for you,” I blurted out. It was almost the truth. Who wouldn’t want him? Who wouldn’t give their right arm to be near him?
    Holden took a step toward me. “You do?”
    “Uh …”
    “Tell me, what does your husband think about me digging up the lawn and moving the fence?” he asked. His eyes twinkled bright enough to give any of Gerald’s constellations a run for their money. They also sent a message my way. He didn’t care a thing about what my husband thought about the garden, but he did care if I had a husband. I noticed him eyeing my ring-free left hand. I clutched it to my chest and stumbled backward. He shot forward and caught me, easily.
    “Easy does it,” he said. I pushed against him, trying not to feel his muscles and extremities. Too late. I felt all of them.
    “Uh …” I stammered.
    I ran back to the house and slammed the door shut behind me. I leaned against it and caught my breath. “Wimp,” I said out loud. “Wimp. Wimp. Wimp.”
    “GLADIE, YOU don’t look good.”
    “I know.” I turned the coffeepot on and fell onto one of the kitchen chairs. “I didn’t sleep well.”
    “That means you got unfinished business. Make a list. Finish it up, and you’ll sleep like a baby.” Grandmastood by the open refrigerator. She was drinking orange juice out of the carton. Her hair was rolled tight in big electric rollers, and she wore a blue and orange housedress with pink slippers that clacked when she walked. She looked well rested.
    Two bagels popped out of the toaster. She grabbed them and brought them to the table with a tub of cream cheese. I flipped through the community paper, looking for potential clients. There was a photo of the mayor and his dog, a piece about a lice outbreak in the local high school, and a blurb about the upcoming city council ball, which would take place in the high school gym. I guessed the city council didn’t care about lice.
    “I had crazy dreams last night,” I explained. “I was an ice skater, and my partner kept dropping me on my head, but I didn’t mind because he promised me he would take off his shirt. How’s that for weird?”
    Grandma smeared cream cheese on a bagel and handed it to me.
    “Then I was riding around town on a scooter with a police siren attached to my head. Dogs were chasing me down the street, and my siren was blaring, giving me a huge headache. Just when the dogs were about to get me, they turned into James Bond in a bathing suit with a spear gun. I pleaded with him to help, but he laughed and said he didn’t help women who wore sweatpants.”
    Grandma nodded. “So, you met our neighbor last night? What did you think of him?” she asked.
    “How did you know …? Never mind. Yes, I met him.” I squirmed in my chair and took a bite of my bagel. “I haven’t found a match for him yet.”
    “You will. He’ll be around for a while. You’ve got time. You’ve got the gift. I was just telling that to one of those no-good neighbors across the street.”
    “One of the Ternses?” I asked.
    “Yes, they have strange notions, those no-goodniks.The boy wants me to do them a favor. I told him I do love. I don’t have time for their nonsense. And I told him you have the gift. You do love and maybe more.”
    “I’m not so sure,” I said. I didn’t do love, and I wasn’t sure I did anything else.
    “You’ll see. It will grab you. You’ll smell out those in need. Unfinished business. It will eat at you until it’s done. You won’t rest until you solve the problem. You and me, we like happy endings. We like justice. And we’ve got the gifts to make it happen. You understand, dolly?”
    I didn’t

Similar Books

Heaven's Gate

Toby Bennett

Stories

ANTON CHEKHOV

Push the Envelope

Rochelle Paige